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National Columnist

Hate Mail: A prescription for a doc, some advice for a dude named Rat

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So this week we got a note from a doctor with a large résumé and a small, um, confidence level. And he showed off both in a single letter. Kind of gross, really.

But that wasn't the worst email of the week. No sir, that honor goes to the Hate Mail leadoff hitter. My guess? It's the first time this gentleman named Owen has been first at anything.

From: Owen

Someone in your family needs to be killed by a drunk driver, then maybe you will understand how utterly stupid your column about Josh Brent is. You probably will find justification for the recent Connecticut school shooting by supporting the shooter's accuracy.

Your first sentence was about as stupid a sentence as I've ever read. And then you wrote your second sentence. God help me, I'm disappointed there wasn't a third.

From: Tony

It is with great ignorance that you write in your Lomas Brown article that in 1994 "we didn't know" about concussions, which have been part of a diagnosis in the medical community for as long as I can remember practicing medicine. I am an M.D., also with my Honor's Degree in Neurology. I was a former professor of pathology at SJMS and the former Dean of Basic Sciences/Medicine. My knowledge in this field is extensive and it is for that reason that I respond to your article.

Wrong. The reason you responded was so you could list your résumé. How come the smartest guy in the room is usually the dumbest?

P.S. And obviously we "knew" about concussions in 1994. But we didn't know what they were doing to NFL players. Not like we know now. I wrote that in a way that most people understood, but now I see my mistake -- I should've dumbed it down for the really smart people, like yourself.

From: teennyoutlina

Are you as frustrated why your website traffic is small? What if there was simple wordpress seo plugin which can drive your wordpress website traffic from zero to 55000 visitors/month! Check them out here: http: wordpress-seo-plugin.net Let me know how you go.

Am I frustrated that my WHAT is so small? I think you were trying to reach that last guy, Spam-bot. Dr. Tony. Professor of pathology and possessor of a really small ... website traffic.

From: Rat Touchton

I see your mom has 54,000 friends.

What kind of name is Rat?

From: Ray Touchton

Does anyone like you?

Oh, so your first name is Ray! You couldn't even write your own name correctly -- the 'y' and the 't' are next to each other on the keyboard, but still -- and you're giving ME a hard time? Oh Rat Ray. You're priceless. Do come back, hear?

From: John Rita

You wrote, "Less than a month after revelations that in 2001 Paterno had helped sway school leaders from reporting Sandusky to police, the iconic JoePa statue was removed from outside Beaver Stadium." I am interested in knowing where you learned that Paterno helped sway school leaders from reporting Sandusky to the police. Can you provide me details? That would be good information to have.

You Kool-Aid drinker. That exact sentence in that exact story was written in another font (color), because those words provided a link to the story that answers your question. But for you, I'll provide the link again. Ready, dummy? Here it comes. Right here. Coming up ... now. In your defense, maybe you're color blind -- in addition to those Paterno blinders you're wearing.

From: George in Washington

You should run for political office. It would enable you to stand on your soapbox and offer the world all the warm and fuzzy solutions that you currently inject into your CBSSports.com columns. Sports is beneath you, Gregg. You need to become one of our nation's leaders. Answer the call to serve your country.

I wouldn't say sports is beneath me. I'd say you are -- but not sports. Sports needs me, George. I'm the glue holding that whole thing together.

From: Joe

Why can't you admit you were wrong? When you're clearly wrong and people call you on it, just 'fess up and admit it.

He's talking about my 2009 story on Notre Dame, and the Hate Mail two weeks ago that brought it back (the link to that is in Joe's email). And he's saying what lots of Notre Dame fans said to me last week, mostly on Twitter: "You were wrong in 2009 and you didn't admit it!" Which is insane. I devoted an entire Hate Mail in 2012 to that 2009 story, taking the abuse that came with being so dreadfully wrong. But that wasn't enough for lots of people. Lots of people baffle me, you know that? It's like they're all professors of pathology or something.

From: Tom Bennett

I was just reading your 2009 column ripping ND football and looking into your crystal bowl regarding the bleak future of Irish football. Man, you were all over that. What insight. Perhaps you should revisit that column in light of current events.

Only thing more pathetic than shouting "How high" when a message board tells him to jump? Doing it two weeks late. We've been there, Tom Bennett. We've done that. And we've already decided you're a lemming. Keep up, lemming.

From: Clayt

Nice Christmas Vacation reference in the Tebow article! If you print this in Hate Mail I'll be more surprised than if I wake up with my head sewn to the carpet.

Whatever, Russ. Whatever.

From: Angie552

What I would like to do is write a posting on my blogspot and have the most recent entry post onto my personal webpage. Is there any way to do this and would the coding be fairly easy?

What I'd like, Spam-bot, is Frank Shirley right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, hopeless, heartless, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey s--t he is! Hallelujah! Holy s--t! Where's the Tylenol?

From: Got Me Some!

Doyel, you're an a--hole, but a funny a--hole! Kinda like Eddie Murphy before he made Holy Man.

Never heard of Holy Man. And why you gotta call me names? Damn. Even nice mail is Hate Mail nowadays.

From: Jeff G.

Good job on not including everything I wrote last week in Hate Mail. (Second note from bottom.) I'm neither sexist nor racist but it's obvious you are one of those journalists who picks and chooses quotes to make themselves appear important to others.

I'll never understand why some of you think you have the right to just drone on and on and on in Hate Mail, and for me to print EVERY SINGLE WORD you wrote. My bosses don't give me that sort of self-absorbed freedom. Nor shall I give it to you.


Gregg Doyel is a columnist for CBSSports.com. He covered the ACC for the Charlotte Observer, the Marlins for the Miami Herald, and Brooksville (Fla.) Hernando for the Tampa Tribune. He was 4-0 (3 KO's!) as an amateur boxer, and volunteers for the ALS Association. Follow Gregg Doyel on Twitter.
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