National Columnist

Hate Mail: From Domers to 'Beyond Thunderdome,' what's not to hate?

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Been awhile since Hate Mail cursed graced these pages. Or this page. Website. Whatever.

For a month the emails rolled in, and for a month I set them aside and wondered, "Which of these beauties should get top billing?" And then this one came in. And my question was answered.

It's from a kid who goes to Notre Dame. Typical college kid. Smartest guy in the room, etc.

From: Brandon Angelini

Just read your Eddie Vanderdoes article, and figured I'd send some much needed feedback. Alienating a passionate fan base won't win you support, and to be blunt your writing was terrible. The cat metaphor struggles to convey any type of point, the Manti Te'o reference was to be expected and quite honestly boring, and you didn't say anything else that merited any type of response or dialogue.

You have a nice, long life ahead of you as a douchebag.

From: Sean Regan

Expert columnist ... I laughed when I saw your name under this heading. It is apparent you have no idea what the (heck) you are writing about after reading your Vanderdoes column. The guy made a commitment! I was going to expand on this email, but I read your column again and realized you are a nitwit and that I would be wasting even more of my time.

Make no mistake, Sean, you're a know-it-all douchebag yourself -- but you're no Brandon Angelini. That kid is years ahead of you. Step up your game or be left behind.

From: Dave Parks

Your accusations about some fringe Notre Dame fans is ludicrous and partial. Any other school who legally does not release a scholarship kid to another school, it's OK. But since it is Notre Dame, then there must be something sinister going on. Typical hack who knows nothing but how to bash Notre Dame because it sells.

And you? You have no shot, Dave. Might want to give up the douchebaggery, if this is the best you got. Maybe you could be a summer intern some day for Brandon Angelini, though I think you should start smaller -- perhaps with a phone call to Sean Regan.

From: The Groundskeeper

How many columns is this in a row now about the NBA, the NBA Finals or LeBron? How about one on college baseball, or even the Stanley Cup?

Well, see, I was covering the NBA Finals and it lasted seven games which was really more like 17 days which is why ... sigh. Never mind. Your lips move when you read, am I right?

From: Delbert

Looking forward to your azz being here in the 305, you punk wannabe fighter.

I was there. You missed me. Probably because you left Game 6 with 20 seconds to go, thinking your favorite team since 2010 of all time had lost to the Spurs.

P.S. Delbert's email came in three weeks ago. Like I said, it's been a while since my last Hate Mail. I'm guessing you didn't notice.

From: Chris

No Hate Mail since May 30 -- and there are only a few days left in the month. I'm starting to worry you will go 0-for-June.

I do real writing too, you know. Actual columns. On topics. With valid points, on a good day.

From: Bob

Where is the hate? Came by to catch up on your columns and no Hate Mail for almost a month. Something is amiss.

Would you approach a Westminster Dog Show champion and ask, "Where is the coughed-up hairball?" Of course not. So don't ask me where's Hate Mail.

From: Chad M.

You sir are an idiot! Your appearance on the Tim Brando show would have been better served watching monkeys having a scat-throwing contest.

In my defense, radio isn't what I'm best at. What am I best at? Probably Hate Mail. Shaddup.

From: Frank Pineda

If you don't like fighting in hockey, don't watch it. Real hockey fans know that fighting serves a purpose. You take a run at a superstar or make a cheap shot, you will have to answer from what you did. These are big boys playing a big-boy sport. If you like a sport that is soft try watching a p-ssy sport like golf or basketball. Now go kiss a semi-truck.

You, Tarzan. Me, Jane. No, wait a minute ...

From: Mitchell Dawg

It's always a cat like you that has done nothing in the way of sports (1987 and '88) but run your damn mouth that has such a strong opinion on those who actually play the game. Who gives a damn whether you think Dwyane Wade is dirty?

Great point (1986).

From: Cynthia Draine

I read your article on Jay Paterno defending his dad and your opinion about it is disgusting. You're so happy to vilify and take part in destroying a good man's reputation. You're so articulate in presenting your view, but you're not absorbing the facts. Have you read the Paterno book by Joe Posnanski?

Nope. I prefer Dr. Seuss.

From: Chernobyl 101

You guys are the ones that report and write about every time Tebow takes a sh-t. Stop writing about him, d--khead, and no one will be tired of him. May the wrath of GOD be upon you.

You must be joking.

From: Bryan

I managed to avoid 24 hours of Tebow coverage, then click on your story because your takes on Tebow are usually funny and right -- and it's about how I should I stop reading about Tebow if I'm really sick of him! You trapped me in twisted irony. Ugh.

May the wrath of GOD be upon me.

From: Megan Day

Just wanted to thank you and tell you how much I loved your piece on my dad, Joe Crawford. You summed up exactly how I feel. He truly is the best, and everyone who knows him thinks the way you do. The scowl, loud mouth that he uses on the court could not be more opposite of the best dad and grandfather in the world. Thanks again!

Aww.

From: Joe Crawford

Gregg -- this is Joe Crawford. I want to thank you for writing those nice things about me. You are ruining my reputation ... no really thank you. My wife started crying when she read your article. I have read your stuff before and people cry but it's usually because they want to kick your a** ---- REALLY THANK YOU

Us bald guys have to stick together.

From: Doc Savage

Your article seemed to upset a large group of readers. The only thing you did was to denigrate Notre Dame fans. Personally, I think kids like Eddie Vanderdoes need some type of a negative sanction when they quit on their contract. You know, like in that Mad Max movie Beyond Thunderdome when Tina Turner tells Max: "Break a deal, spin the wheel." Apparently you are not a father, and that's why you have such a cavalier attitude towards this Vanderdoes drama.

Actually, I am a father -- two teenage boys -- which is why I have compassion for a teenager I've never met. Maybe you should try compassion instead of quoting old movies to support your compassionless point.

From: Steve Thompson

Your Father's Day piece made me cry. Not ashamed to say. My son is 9, his mom and I divorced. Both remarried. I live, eat, breathe sports. Her, not so much. My son has had a split household since he was 4, and organized sports have not made it into the limited time window -- and don't appear to be on the horizon. It kills me when I ponder it, but our time together is so valuable that we can't do everything. Thank you for making me feel like it's OK.

They're going to be who they are -- not who we were, or even who we thought they'd be. Love them right where they are, Steve. Nothing more OK than that.


Gregg Doyel is a columnist for CBSSports.com. He covered the ACC for the Charlotte Observer, the Marlins for the Miami Herald, and Brooksville (Fla.) Hernando for the Tampa Tribune. He was 4-0 (3 KO's!) as an amateur boxer, and volunteers for the ALS Association. Follow Gregg Doyel on Twitter.
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