National Columnist

Hate Mail: Can staunch LSU fans really be this brainless?

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Sometimes Hate Mail is just silly. People write me illogical stuff, I write something back, and there you go. Silliness. Entertaining, I hope.

This week, it's not silly.

This week LSU fans wrote to defend Jeremy Hill, who has been convicted of two despicable acts of violence. They read my story on Jeremy Hill and concluded the bad guy here is ... me.

This is not me, silly. This is me, angry.

From: JR Stassi

You think Les Miles is afraid to dismiss a player? Ask Tyrann Mathieu if Miles is hiding behind the system.

Mathieu himself says he failed so many drug tests at LSU -- before being kicked off the team -- that he lost count at 10. Great example.

From: Brady Allis

I had to laugh at your article about Jeremy Hill. He got in a bar fight and hooked up with an underage girl.

I'm wondering what IQ is required to equate Jeremy Hill's sociopathic viciousness to "a bar fight" and "hooking up with an underage girl." I'm putting the over/under at 75.

From: Timothy Ernst

Hey, Florida grad, where is your article about all the Gators arrested under Urban Meyer?

Right here: I wrote it in 2010. Never ask a rhetorical question if you don't know the actual answer.

From: James Birdsong

Aren't you the same writer who vouched for Marshall Henderson to stay at Ole Miss?

No, you deep thinker, I'm not. Here's what I wrote on Marshall Henderson in March. Again, kids, pay attention: Don't ask a rhetorical question unless you're positive you know the answer.

From: Eric Anthony

Where is the story on Johnny Football and his fight case that was settled this week?

Somewhere. I don't know, maybe it's located on ... wait. Are you comparing Johnny Manziel's fight, which was an actual fight, to the sucker-punch thrown by Jeremy Hill? Are you comparing Manziel's fight with Hill's two acts of violence against defenseless victims, one of them a 14-year-old girl? Those were rhetorical questions, Eric. And we all know the answer.

P.S. I'll take "under 75" on you.

From: Glenn Granger

When can we expect your call to Coach Sumlin and TAMU to kick Johnny Football off the team? What a hypocritical pr--k you are. I read your column by accident but I will never read a CBS article again, especially yours.

And I'll never use your services as a financial advisor, Glenn (looked you up). Anyone dumb enough to compare Johnny Manziel's immaturity with Jeremy Hill's sociopathy is not someone capable of handling my money. Can you add small numbers, Glenn, or do you need a calculator? I'm not being rhetorical. I'm being serious.

From: Brant Langlonais

When are you gonna write about that Heisman predator who just accepted a plea deal for fighting?

Your name is an anagram for "trolling bananas."

From: Richard Taylor

I think your judgmental outlook is misguided and rotten. You seem to be callous and very eager to throw stones. But I guess you can do this, on your national major media outlet, and it makes you feel accomplished and real tough eh? You vilified Mr. Hill. Judge not, lest ye be judged Mr. Doyel.

Jeremy Hill has been judged -- twice -- in a court of law to be guilty of awful, predatory crimes. What part of "common sense" do you people not have?

From: FloopTypeNoFs

only two More elemental force associated with nature than mere manager, O'Neill has long offered a total new definition of hyperactive. Not any more. Uggs for $40

I swear, Spam-Bot, sometimes I think you're the only one around here making any sense. Other than me, I mean.

From: Dr. Kermit P. Soileau

When you stop boxing, you can talk about other people's violence. Until then, no one should listen to your opinions about violence. Or, as the old saying goes, takes one to know one.

Look everybody, Kermit's a frog doctor! And a stupid one at that. Comparing my boxing with Jeremy Hill's predatory violence? Oh, Kermit. That's whack. Which rhymes with quack.

From: Larry Karen Dillon

Nice, positive article about Jeremy Hill and LSU, Mr. Boxer. Yes, Jeremy Hill made really stupid mistakes -- but for you to write that article the way you did was, well, ignorant. I guess every other college institution and state is perfect? Maybe stick with boxing and spend less time writing articles bashing kids.

What is it with you people and my boxing? And allow me to puke all over your final word. Jeremy Hill has forfeited the right to be referred to as a "kid." Better choices include criminal, predator, assailant. Monster? Sure. He's damn sure more "monster" than "kid," you mealy-mouthed dipstick.

From: D. Zeigler

How is your article on Vandy coming, hot shot?

True, four players from Vanderbilt were accused of sexual assault. But -- and this is where it gets bad for you, Ziegler -- they were kicked off the team before they were even charged, much less convicted. Meanwhile, two-time monster Jeremy Hill remains at LSU. Geaux, Tigers!

From: Zach Loyacano

The SEC butthurt is strong in you ...

Because, clearly, anyone upset that Les Miles is allowing a dangerous cretin like Jeremy Hill to represent LSU must be jealous of the SEC. Is that right? Listen, you idiot. Both my parents used to work at Ole Miss. Half my high school went to Georgia. Me? I went to Florida. The blind dumbassery is strong in you ...

From: Cody Roberts

Just read your story about the Spanish interviews at the All-Star Game. You are a useful tool for the liberal agenda. A glittering jewel of colossal ignorance.

And here I thought I was just nicer than people like you. Same difference, I guess.

From: Marion Hoosier

Les Miles has been fair with all his players ... graduation rate among the highest ... you must be Alabama grad ... typical ESPN writer ... ever since ESPN got it wrong about Miles going to Michigan, ESPN has been on crusade...must be your week to be critical of Miles....LMAO at ya if ya only knew how this makes you look ...

Um, Mr. Mayor? (This guy is the mayor of McCaskill, Ark.) I don't work for ESPN. If ya only knew what website ya were emailing ...

From: Jeff Tartt

Idiot. Never been in a bar fight?

No. And the poor guy who was sucker-punched by Jeremy Hill wasn't in a bar fight that night, either. He was the victim of a violent crime. What morons you people are.


Gregg Doyel is a columnist for CBSSports.com. He covered the ACC for the Charlotte Observer, the Marlins for the Miami Herald, and Brooksville (Fla.) Hernando for the Tampa Tribune. He was 4-0 (3 KO's!) as an amateur boxer, and volunteers for the ALS Association. Follow Gregg Doyel on Twitter.
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