This is from the Access Hollywood website, and it is just downright frightening.
|Emmitt Smith has traded the spin move for the cha-cha. (Getty Images)|
They were talking about Emmitt Smith of course and this was not commentary about one of his great football performances.
It was about ballroom dancing. Freaking ballroom dancing.
"(This) made Emmitt's night," the story added, continuing to scare the hell out of me. It quoted Smith, after his lovely dance performance this week, as saying: "To see people standing up and enjoying the dance ... we connected with the audience and that is powerful."
Oh God no. Please no. Please, please, please Emmitt stop this madness. I'm begging you.
When I told friends that Smith is on Dancing with the Stars they thought I was back on the crack pipe. They didn't believe it. Then they watched the show, and became suddenly breathless, their mouths agape, as mine was.
It was bad enough that the greatest wide receiver of all time, Jerry Rice, was a participant on the show. But as heterosexual men and football fans we could explain that moment away. We could deal. Wide receivers are kind of loopy, anyway, we thought. I mean, Michael Irvin played wide receiver. So that just about says it all.
But now the all-time leading rusher is doing the cha-cha and the boom-boom and enjoying shaking his booty a little too much. Somehow, I don't see Bronco Nagurski enjoying the fine points of the foxtrot.
Guys used to get beat up for doing this. Now, they get ratings.
Is it just me or Smith's new pursuit make anyone else feel unbelievably uncomfortable? There is just something very Ryan Seacrest about all of this. Not that there is anything wrong with that. It is just plain odd to see former NFL brawlers and tough guys taking to pirouettes and prancing with such obsessive rage and observational precision. Did these guys secretly dance in their training camp dorm rooms or something their entire careers and keep it a secret?
Are there more reality shows on the horizon featuring football or sporting stars? Is Juggling Knives with the Stars featuring O.J. Simpson on some exec's drawing board? How about Punters pass, kick and square dance?
I'm not hating on Smith, just wondering what goes through his mind, or Jerry Rice's for that matter. It reeks of a desperate ploy to keep their celebrity alive. They resemble many former athletes. They become lost. They search for that next thing, the sequel. And this show, along with some dancing babe sporting pumps and sequin, simply fell into their laps. They had nothing better to do so, what the hell, let's rumba.