In St. Louis, they're hailing Rick Majerus as king. Ask Southern California about that king. Ask Utah. Or the people at ESPN who've had to deal with Majerus.
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The Yankees are freaking out that Joe Torre might be fired. Beating Julian Tavarez would have helped.
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Torre's best ally in the organization is Hank Steinbrenner. Until this moment, I didn't know there was a Hank Steinbrenner.
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Meanwhile, in the real world, Torre's brother will get a kidney ... from Torre's niece.
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If this is the best the NBA can do for a playoff spat -- the Raptors' coach says Jason Kidd isn't hurt, Kidd says he is hurt, Kidd then averages nearly a triple-double for the series -- the NBA sucks.
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Just kidding.
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If Randy Moss is a bad, bad guy -- and he is -- what does that make the Patriots for wanting him so badly?
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I love it when someone (besides me) aims a smart little jab at ESPN. And the guy's got a point. Why does the network insist on these kinds of shots?
Arkansas football coach Houston Nutt believes a small group of Razorbacks fans are trying to get him to "crack." What if Nutt cracked long ago? Oh, and check out the quote from Frank Broyles -- he brings religion into this thing. Move out of that glass house you're living in, Frank, or shut the hell up.
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Hate Mail is coming to video, but apparently not until next week. Shoot! It's going to be good though. Why? Because I'm fascinated by all things me.
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The NFL is getting smart and thinking about eliminating a preseason game ... only to turn around and make that a 17th regular-season game... somewhere overseas. I'm all for thinking outside the box, but come on, NFL. At least try to remember there is a box. Somewhere.
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John Beilein is finally out from under the worst contract buyout in sports. If he let the same agent negotiate his deal with Michigan, John Beilein isn't as smart as I thought he was.
Mr. Vick doesn't go to Washington
Updated: Apr/25/2007 08:15 AM
Remember how sweet it was that Michael Vick would go to Capitol Hill to speak on behalf of school kids? The meeting was Tuesday. Vick blew it off.
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This guy wants to scoop out NFL players' brains and study them. Seriously.
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A scoop into Michael Vick's cranium would come up empty, I'm thinking.
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Any newspaper story that leads with the words "Mulholland Drive" will be linked to here, even if it's about the Dodgers, and not the movie of the same name.
If Jerry Jones can read this story and not be ashamed of himself, he's even dumber than I think he is. And I think that, for a rich guy, he must be plenty dumb.
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Which NFL team still values talent over character? We'll see when someone drafts this guy.
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And so it begins, or ends, for Texas A&M basketball without Billy Gillispie -- Joseph Jones will enter the NBA draft. (He won't sign immediately with an agent, but I'm guessing he will eventually.)
Don't give any awards to this dad
Updated: Apr/24/2007 07:30 AM
Worst father of the year? Maybe this guy, who basically said his daughter had a one-night stand with a St. Louis Cardinal in a failed attempt to extort that Cardinal.
This hilariously offbeat look at the Wizards-Cavs series is best described by the part where DeShawn Stevenson feels the need to explain, "Dang. I ain't no girl, though."
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If you want to read more of that writer's nuttiness, here you go.
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Milwaukee Bucks CEO Herb Kohl, who has owned the team for 22 years, defended his time in charge by saying "we deserve a mulligan." A 22-year mulligan? Where can I get one of those?
Hahahahaha. After allegedly admitting to pot use, ex-Georgia Tech receiver Calvin Johnson is the subject of a straight story in this paper that refers to his speed as having scouts "buzzing." Buzzing! Hahahahaha. OK ... am I juvenile or what?
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Remember Garrett Wolfe, the Northern Illinois tailback with the tiny body and huge production? The NFL doesn't remember.
It takes no courage to spring a leak
Updated: Apr/23/2007 09:03 AM
Here's a beautiful story on (the concept of) the gutless skunk who leaked the pot admissions of three top NFL draft prospects.
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Dodgers pitcher Brad Penny doesn't like how his manager made him look like a head case. Too bad, Penny. You head case.
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The Mavericks won 67 games, then changed their entire lineup for the playoff opener ... and lost. Hahahahaha.
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Let me ask the BCS people a question: If playoffs aren't on the agenda, why have an agenda? Why meet at all? What's left to discuss -- the size of the USC cheerleaders' sweaters?
It's sucky in Arizona as well
Updated: Apr/20/2007 08:09 AM
A hand-writing expert analyzed the Diamondbacks and found that, as a team, they suck.
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A writer in Philly (sort of) comes to the aid of embattled Phillies manager Charlie Manuel and (definitely) takes some shots at the radio guy who started this mess.
Vince Carter, who was dubbed in Toronto as "Half-Man, Half-a-Season" (hahahaha), returns for the playoffs. It'll be ugly. I love ugly.
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No mirror jokes, please.
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The Suns-Lakers rivalry just got better because now there's a book. To paraphrase Scott Glenn in Courage Under Fire: "Sweet Jesus, there's always a book."
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I freaking love that movie.
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The AWOL Braves infielder apparently has a substance-abuse problem. To paraphrase Scott Glenn (again), "Sweet Jesus, there's always a substance-abuse problem."
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Told you I loved that movie.
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All of a sudden the NFL is all about (the appearance of) character. Rams coach Scott Linehan must have missed that memo.
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Once upon a time I thought Mario Williams had a pretty good head on top of that $50 million body. I thought wrong.
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Until being linked to pot, Calvin Johnson was the perfect NFL draft prospect. Maybe he still is. Hell, maybe pot should be legalized. I mean, if Calvin Johnson is toking, how bad can it be?
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Two great Ohio State players -- and also Daequan Cook -- are entering the NBA draft. Greg Oden is the No. 1 pick. Mike Conley Jr. will go in the top 10. Cook is a complete idiot.
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Tomorrow's my birthday you sick, twisted ...
It's always sucky in Philadelphia
Updated: Apr/19/2007 08:00 AM
The blow-up between the Phillies' manager and the Philly radio guy fascinates me, mainly because the idea of either of these men in an actual fight makes me giggle. Randy Couture and Chuck Liddell, they ain't.
A century later, we're still unsure how many hits Wee Willie Keeler ended up with. It wasn't a problem until Craig Biggio caught up to Keeler. Or did he? This is so frustrating, I need a valium.
We haven't heard the whole story behind Pistons guard Flip Murray's run-in with two masked men who allegedly shot up his house. Murray, by the way, beat the Celtics last night at the buzzer. Wow.
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Anyone who thinks Calvin Johnson is too nice, too humble, to become an NFL superstar, check out the fourth paragraph of this story. Wow. But he makes a good point. Seeing ought to be believing.
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Mitch Mustain must be really, really, really good. Southern California doesn't need the help, or the headache, but the Trojans apparently are going to welcome Mustain -- and his mother -- into their football family.
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Bad basketball school Saint Louis fired its good coach for unknown reasons, the decision was made by the president over his irrelevant athletic director's objections, and the pool of candidates is miniscule after being picked through by almost 50 other schools who made their coaching changes at the proper time. Other than that, Saint Louis looks like a great job.
So which is it, Jeff Green?
Updated: Apr/18/2007 08:34 AM
Jeff Green says there's a 70 percent chance he'll withdraw from the NBA draft and return to Georgetown. Which means there's a 70 percent chance he's a liar. Or a 100 percent chance he's an idiot. Pick one.
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The jerk referee who challenged Tim Duncan to a fight and then ejected him for laughing was suspended indefinitely by the league -- but still thinks he did nothing wrong. Go ahead and retire, jerk referee. The game was never about you, anyway.
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Bob Knight hates Kelvin Sampson. This probably won't help. Then again, Knight is a vain, vain man. Maybe flattery will get Sampson somewhere.
Phillies manager Charlie Manuel got tough with a local radio guy. Now if he could only get tough with his team. Truth be told, Charlie Manuel -- in his baseball pants -- makes me giggle.
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The Knicks' owner says he would never foist Jerry West onto president-coach Isiah Thomas. Which might be true. However, I've heard for months that NBA commissioner David Stern wants Dolan to foist someone -- perhaps Jerry Colangelo -- onto Isiah and the NBA's worst-run (important) franchise. We'll see.
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The Michigan basketball team has lost a pledge from a star from Detroit, and if you know your recent basketball history you know this wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened for Kentucky.
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Joe Crawford, people. Joe Crawford.
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The St. Louis basketball team inexplicably fired its coach, a move that has the media there ripping the school Prez. Even if he is a reverend. Good Lord, is nothing sacred?
There's nothing like a bad cop
Updated: Apr/17/2007 07:41 AM
At the 2006 World Series, St. Louis cops confiscated tickets from scalpers and then put them to personal use. No discipline is forthcoming. Kind of makes you wonder what happens to guns, drugs and drug money seized in that town, huh?
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The NBA is investigating referee Joey Crawford's ejection of -- and fight challenge to -- Tim Duncan. You messed with the wrong marine, Crawford.
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They're obsessed with Daisuke Matsuzaka in Japan. Honestly ... an astrophysicist?
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Josh Beckett gives up a home run and then drills the next batter, but obviously it was unintentional. And then Beckett's manager whines that the other manager, Mike Scioscia, should have been ejected. Baseball is beautiful.
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A receiver for the Dallas Cowboys has sued a former guard for the Dallas Mavericks in a case that will make you want to bang your face into your computer.
Now that Alex Legion has backed out (again) on Michigan basketball, watch the schools that get involved and where he ends up. This could be a circus.
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This Pitt basketball player is innocent until proven guilty of course ... but if he is guilty, he's a bad guy. And I don't mean bad as in good.
Good day L.A.
Updated: Apr/16/2007 08:12 AM
This is cool. The Clippers' loss earlier Sunday meant the Lakers -- in the same building, no less -- could clinch an NBA spot on Sunday night. Kobe scored 50. Lakers win. What a day in L.A.
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This guy from Atlanta used the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson's debut to accuse baseball of ignoring African-American talent. Read to the end, people. Read his final line. That's what he means, and you know it.
If Tim Duncan is telling the truth -- are you calling him a liar? -- an NBA referee challenged him to a fight before ejecting him for no real reason at all. Which means that, if Tim Duncan is telling the truth, referee Joey Crawford should never work in the NBA again.
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Ole Miss linebacker Patrick Willis is a physical freak, which is why some NFL team will take him in the first round of the draft. Eventually the comparisons to Shawne Merriman will come. I have no idea what I'm talking about.
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Have you heard about the extra $3 million the Eagles mistakenly, and inadvertently, and unintentionally, gave Brian Westbrook? The IRS heard about it. Which is complicating matters greatly. The IRS hears about everything.
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Freaking IRS ...
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Remember that San Diego Charger who was charged with moving enough cough syrup to stock a hospital? That shouldn't scare off future NFL teams from signing him, because as he says, "I'm a great guy." Right. And so am I.
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This story does a horrible job of explaining whether Vince Carter broke his personal record, or his personal and team record, for points in a season. Which makes the reference to Julius Erving more of a tease than anything. Journalism ain't all that hard, people.
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Ah ha! Here it is. Carter is the Nets' first 2,000-point scorer in the NBA. Erving scored his points when the Nets were in the ABA. Hey, competing paper: Was this so hard?
Why throw this guy in jail?
Updated: Apr/05/2007 07:56 AM
Let's get this straight: A U.S. citizen helps Cuban ballplayers flee the oppressive Castro regime to pursue the millions of dollars available to ballplayers in the major leagues ... and for that, the U.S. citizen faces decades in prison? What a country we live in.
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Some NBA players got into it again at the Palace and -- here comes the shocker -- the idiot Detroit crowd contributed to the skirmish. Yes, I'm labeling the entire crowd because of one or two people. After what happened in that arena a few years back? Zero tolerance, idiots. Zero.
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Pacman Jones says he's sorry. Says he's a changed man. Says he's seen the light. Do us all a favor, Pacman, and save your last words for the judge. Maybe if you get a bleeding-heart liberal on the bench, he'll believe you. Me? And most of us, I suspect? We don't believe a damn thing.
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Another member of the Patriots is fed up with the team's cold-hearted business acumen. When that team unravels, it's going to unravel fast. Not saying that day is at hand. But it's coming.
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If the walk-on at Oklahoma was treated like a king, what else was going on in that football program? That's a fair question to ask.
If I'm wrong about this, I'm wrong and I'm sorry. But judging from today and other days, it sure seems like the biggest paper in Texas is more diligent about the goings-on at Oklahoma than is the biggest paper in Oklahoma ... which happens to be owned by one of the richest OU boosters in the world. Probably a coincidence.
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If you do this, Huggs, you're a bad guy. Charming when you want to be. Charismatic when you choose. But down deep? Only a bad guy would make the move you're thinking about making at the time you're thinking of making it.
There's a lot more, by the way, to the Arkansas story than most people think.
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Like this knucklehead who blames Altman for being a flip-flopper and then says Arkansas should pursue another flip-flopper, Rick Majerus. This is why people have no faith in the media.
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A baseball agent faces 45 years in prison for smuggling ...Cuban ball-players? Surely the U.S. government has more important cases to pursue.
Lots of hand-wringing over the NFL's failure to put a game in China next season. To which I say: Why the hand-wringing? Why China? I mean, China? Please, people. Please.
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Are they even enjoying the Gators' latest title in Gainesville?
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A high school point guard from California was considering LSU and Connecticut. Gee, what a strange mixture of schools.
