Ken Berger knew he'd arrived when Stephon Marbury hugged him in an unfriendly way and the photo wound up on the back page of Newsday, his former employer. He'd arrived at a place that looked awfully familiar. This place can best described as the theater of the absurd.

It was like the time Albert Belle, in the Cleveland Indians' locker room, looked up from the sports section he was reading -- instead of participating in the All-Star home-run contest in his own stadium -- and said, "Have I ever talked to you before? Well, let's keep it that way."

And the time Jets wide receiver Laveranues Coles mocked his life's work by telling him, "That ain't no job, writin' paragraphs."

Or the time then-Philadelphia Eagles coach Ray Rhodes asked him during a news conference, as water dripped from the leaky ceiling in the media dining room at Veterans Stadium, "You ever had any stress in your life?" (The answer was, yes. We won't get into the details here.)

Then-Alabama football coach Gene Stallings berated Berger after he'd dutifully called late one night for comment on some of his players who'd found some trouble, or vice versa: "You're callin' me at 9 o'clock on a Sund-ee night to talk about FOOT-BALL?!?!?!"

We should mention several unfortunate phone conversations with Bill Parcells, but the contents are best saved for websites less concerned with prevailing standards for decency.

"YOU ... PLAY ... TO ... WIN ... THE ... GAME .... HELLOOOOO?!?!?!!" Berger was there for that one, too, but claims zero responsibility for the number of games Herman Edwards has won since.

On balance, the absurd moments of Berger's 14-year sports writing career have been far surpassed by the outstanding -- most of them covering the NBA, the most underrated and underestimated of the big sports. (Those who agree, you know who you are. K.B. feels your pain.)

All of the above pales in comparison to witnessing Michael Jordan's jumper over Bryon Russell to clinch his sixth and final title. Or Larry Johnson's four-point play against the Pacers in the '99 Eastern Conference Finals. Or Kobe Bryant and Allen Iverson dueling in the All-Star rookie game in '97. Or having a better seat than Prince and Larry Bird for the '98 All-Star Game at Madison Square Garden -- Michael's last All-Star MVP.

At the '97 All-Star weekend in Cleveland, Berger strode into a ballroom where the NBA's 50 Greatest players were assembled -- Russell at one end of the room, Wilt at the other, as though they were defending each basket. Berger wrote about Charles Barkley and Michael Jordan, who chose to gamble and play golf instead.

All of this began at the Bloomington (Ind.) Herald-Times, continued with The Associated Press (in Alabama, Cleveland, and Philly), then and now CBSSports.com. All we can say is this: Expect the unexpected. And the outstanding. And the absurd.