Way of Wade: Flopping, dirty plays for the win!
As Lance Stephenson can attest, Dwyane Wade is the dirtiest player in the NBA. He flops a lot, too.
Someone has to say it, so I'll be the bad guy. No, wait. Dwyane Wade is the bad guy.
And that's how I'll say it:
Dwyane Wade is the bad guy. He's the worst guy in the NBA, when it comes to bad-guy stuff. Dirtiest player in the league? Yeah. That's Dwyane Wade. Look no farther for The Next Bruce Bowen, because he's here and headed to the Hall of Fame. Rare that a player as good as Dwyane Wade would be as devious, as dirty, as Dwyane Wade ... but there we are.
Dwyane Wade is the most devious, the most dirty player in the NBA.
And I say that as a guy who fell (back) in love with Wade last season, during the 2012 NBA Finals, when Wade's family went through some trauma and Wade was reunited with his sons before Game 4 and he was hugging them courtside and I was getting goosebumps -- getting goosebumps, right now, thinking about it -- because there's nothing more beautiful or pure or likeable than a parent's love for his/her children. How can you not like Dwyane Wade after seeing that?
But at the same time, how can you like Dwyane Wade after seeing this?
The guy's dirty. He doesn't just foul people -- he hurts them. He hurled Rajon Rondo to the ground during the 2011 playoffs and Rondo suffered a dislocated elbow. He raked his arm down on Kobe Bryant's face and broke his nose ... during the 2012 All-Star Game. He kicked Ramon Sessions in the groin earlier this season and was suspended a game for that.
He's dirty, man. Dirty. Dirtiest player in the NBA? I think that goes without saying. Does anybody else have a rap sheet as long as Wade's rap sheet? Did I mention the forearm shiver to Lance Stephenson's head yet? That was in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference finals, and it was so bad, so dirty, that after studying it on film the NBA assessed Wade with a flagrant foul.
The NBA didn't suspend Wade for Game 3 because he's Dwyane Wade and that's the Miami Heat and suspending Wade for Game 3 might have thrown the Eastern Conference finals even further out of balance, and the NBA would prefer the Miami Heat to reach the NBA Finals. We all know that, right? That the NBA prefers the Heat (and LeBron James) to reach the NBA Finals? I'm not suggesting the referees would affect the outcome, but I am absolutely suggesting the NBA didn't suspend Dwyane Wade for smashing Lance Stephenson in the head because he plays for Miami, and he plays with LeBron, and the NBA would prefer the Heat reaches the NBA Finals.
Which brings me to Sunday night. Game 3.
You saw the flop, right? Wade was under the basket, near the baseline, nowhere to go. Well, there was one place to go -- out of bounds. With Pacers big man Ian Mahinmi nearby, Wade threw himself out of bounds. He wanted the call, the foul, the ball. He got none of it.
I want a fine.
The NBA now fines players for flopping, and I want Dwyane Wade fined for that egregious flop on Game 3. I'd like him fined for the two or three flops he does every game, and even Miami Heat fans have to know what I'm talking about. Two or three times a game, Wade rises for a shot and a defender contests the shot, maybe even fouls him across the hand or arm, and Wade falls to pieces like a skeleton suddenly missing a pelvis.
All the bones come tumbling down because somebody touched Dwyane Wade on the forearm.
It's hilarious to watch, really, but not in a laughing-with-you sort of way. I see it and I'm laughing at you, Dwyane Wade, because it's pathetic for a player of your stature and skill to resort to such blatant cheating. And that's what flopping is -- it's cheating. Trying to gain an unfair advantage, help your team and penalize theirs, by getting a call you don't deserve.
Wade's a cheater.
These facts are undisputable. Someone had to say it, so I'll say it. And I'm not worried about being the bad guy anymore, because everyone knows who the bad guy is in this story.
He wears No. 3 for the Miami Heat.
Our Latest Stories
Glenn Jacobs, also known as 'The Big Red Machine,' filed paperwork in Knox County
WrestleMania 33 is just over a week away, but WWE has struggled to ignite fans with uneven...
Hogan's heroic attempt to catch pickpocket is ultimately, hilariously, ineffective
Match predictions, rumors and all the information you need heading into WrestleMania 33 in...
Rob Gronkowski has to compete in WWE one day, right? Right?!
New tag team champions were crowned, and Shane McMahon closed the show strong