Tiger Woods endured a baptism of fire.
Michelle Wie's agent fired himself –- and it sounds like her swing coach would love to similarly torch his contract.
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| It's an understatement to say that Michelle Wie has struggled this year. (Getty Images) |
Prepare to take a tour through the first incarnation of Knockdown Shots, an unsparing look at some of the flare-ups and bonfires of the past few days in the evermore complicated world of golf.
Be forewarned that these whistling, sarcastic missiles will be executed like any good Knockdown Shot should: By swinging hard and aiming low.
News item: Even with her season kaput, the public-relations carwrecks continue to pile up for faded phenom Michelle Wie, who lost her second agent in 366 days when former Nike apparel rep Greg Nared bolted the beleaguered Wie fold earlier this week.
Knockdown Shot: As golf blogger Geoff Shackelford so comically put it, Nared resigned to spend more time away from the Wie family.
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News item: Golf swing coach David Leadbetter, in his strongest statements ever on the subject, admits to something akin to a rift with Wie's parents, who haven't taken much of his sage advice to heart. "With Greg Nared leaving, you feel like this is the Titanic," Leadbetter told a Canadian paper. "I'm scared for her future."
Knockdown Shot: Ditto his own, since his reputation is falling like a Lead balloon. If Leadbetter, one of the most honorable men in the game, sounds like a man who wants to get fired, it might not be accidental. The swing coach is said to have a contract with the Wies that he intends to honor, but the arrangement can't possibly be worth the collateral damage, right?
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News item: The LPGA is mulling harsh suspensions for drug violations when testing begins in 2008, including one-year, two-year and lifetime bans for first, second and third offenses.
Knockdown Shot: Admittedly, I am an ignorant, sexist pig. But if my wife requires an entire toilet to take care of, ahem, business, then how are the ladies going to get urine samples into those tiny cups?
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News item: In consecutive weeks, diplomacy-deficient European Ryder Cup captain Nick Faldo has endured the mutiny of an angry assistant captain and implied that Ryder hero Colin Montgomerie is less than a team player, prompting a riotous reaction abroad as momentum builds for the '08 matches.
Knockdown Shot: Note to U.S. captain Paul Azinger -- maybe the best way to finally beat those guys is to let them beat themselves. Lay low, keep your trap shut, don't mess with your players and perhaps the Euros will collapse like the value of the U.S. dollar.
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News item: The worldwide leader in self-aggrandizement, ESPN, which recently decided it was losing too much money broadcasting golf and instead decided to lose a fortune on NASCAR, has changed its mind by buying the rights to televise the first two days of Masters coverage.
Knockdown Shot: Don't know about you, but if this means Chris Berman or Stuart Scott are working the Masters, I'm gouging out my eardrums with a divot tool. Talk about a culture clash. Secretive, old-school society meets loud-mouthed, snot-nosed provocateurs? That ain't broadcast bliss, brothers.
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News item: The manufacturer of the erectile dysfunction drug Cialis has elected not to renew its expiring four-year advertising deal with the PGA Tour.
Knockdown Shot: Go ahead, make jokes. But this could be costing somebody money. For instance, tour veteran Dicky Pride's greatest potential endorsement opportunity just passed unfulfilled.
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News item: In a decision that, to date, has not generated any comment or explanation from the Woods camp, the world No. 1 skipped the baptism of his infant daughter Sam in Sweden last week and instead attended a fundraiser for his charitable foundation in Southern California.
Knockdown Shot: Oh, the chat rooms were buzzing on this one, including an epic one-liner in Woods' defense that read, "Give the guy a break. Travis Henry wasn't present at any of his nine kids' baptisms."
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News item: What do Ernie Els, Retief Goosen, Sergio Garcia, Luke Donald, Geoff Ogilvy, Justin Rose, Trevor Immelman, Paul Casey, Stewart Cink, Arron Oberholser, David Toms, Ian Poulter, Brett Wetterich and Tim Clark all have in common? All are ranked in the world top 30, and none will be playing in the season-opening Mercedes-Benz Championship in January.
Knockdown Shot: With Phil Mickelson and Woods always iffy as far as attending the event -- both skipped it last year -- maybe the tour should spend more time fixing the season's official curtain-raiser and less energy pimping the faux ending of the FedEx Cup.
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News item: A stubborn Scotsman (redundancy alert) has thrown a wrench in mogul Donald Trump's plans to open a billion-dollar golf development along the Scottish coast by refusing to sell his land, which sits smack in the middle of the proposed resort property.
Knockdown Shot: The feisty property owner dubbed Trump's crew "Slippery Sam and the Gang" and the resort has generated opposition from local environmentalists. Why? Consider this bit of self-immolation from Trump himself: "I have never seen such an unspoiled and dramatic sea-side landscape and the location makes it perfect for our development." Yep, nothing like a hotel to enrich the view. About what you would expect from a guy who combs his hair by sticking his head in a cotton-candy machine.
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| Good lord, how much does Steve Williams make? (Getty Images) |
Knockdown Shot: Now you know why fellow Kiwi Michael Campbell, moments after he won the U.S. Open three years ago, said, "Ha, Steve Williams is no longer the highest-paid sportsman in New Zealand." Campbell clearly wasn't kidding.
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News item: Lorena Ochoa, the runaway top player among females, last weekend claimed her seventh LPGA title of the year and fourth in six starts.
Knockdown Shot: Earlier this month, the LPGA unveiled its new tour logo, which features three colors in the Mexican flag. Coincidence?
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News item: Promising American prospect Colt Knost continues to turn heads during his rookie run on the PGA Tour's Fall Series, although some continue to make disparaging comments about his ample midsection, which has prompted comparisons to chubbies like John Daly and Jason Gore.
Knockdown Shot: Knost this summer became only the second player ever to win the U.S. Amateur and U.S. Publinks crowns in the same year and has made back-to-back PGA Tour cuts. So, with regard to both his girth and worth, his momma should have named him Clydesdale.
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News item: In a befuddling move, manufacturer TaylorMade continues to air an advertising spot featuring several rows of the company golf bags emblazoned with the names of their prominent staff of tour professionals.
Knockdown Shot: Just don't watch too closely. The names on the bags in the front row belong to Goosen, Garcia, Toms, Mike Weir, Tom Lehman, Sean O'Hair, Justin Rose and Darren Clarke. In 2007, that group has combined for the same number of PGA Tour victories as the author of this column.
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News item: The first-year event being launched this week in Scottsdale, Ariz., the Fry's Electronics Open, is already being lauded as the most notable of the seven Fall Series events because world No. 2 Mickelson has elected to play.
Knockdown Shot: Don't be so quick to judge, since Mickelson missed the cut this spring as the main show pony at the city's other tour event, the Phoenix Open. He could be spending the weekend in the clubhouse at host Grayhawk Golf Club, where the restaurant named in his honor is described thusly: "Whether bellied-up to the bar or kicked back on one of the leather couches, Phil's Grill is the perfect hang." Snarky types, insert leftover Knost fat joke here.
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News item: As expected, Woods announces that he has signed a lucrative deal to promote Gatorade, which will create a line of Woods-inspired flavors like cherry, citrus and grape.
Knockdown Shot: What they need now is a catchy name, like Eldrink.
