Perry to U.S. Open: Thanks, but no thanks

DUBLIN, Ohio -- No question, Kenny Perry's entire year has been fashioned around donning the stars and stripes in September at the Ryder Cup.

He tactically plotted his schedule, picking tournaments where he was most likely to play well, knowing all the while in the back of his mind that a certain famous stop wasn't going to make the list, any ensuing controversy be darned.

Maybe you've heard of the event.

Kenny Perry has no interest in getting eaten up at the always-tough U.S. Open. (AP)

It's held every June, has been around since 1895 and is run by borderline sadists who grow rough so deep, they need sickles and scythes to find stray golf balls. Now Perry might find himself in high grass, too, even though he's not going to play.

Given his single-minded drive to make the Ryder roster, when it came to qualifying for a spot in the U.S. Open, Perry red, white and blew it off with nary a second thought.

"It was an easy decision for me," he said.

The personable 47-year-old, desperately seeking a spot on the Ryder roster in his home state of Kentucky, loaded up on events surrounding the Open, including this week's Memorial Tournament, where he's a two-time winner and enters the final round tied for second, three shots off the lead.

While dozens of others in the Memorial field will stick around for one of the two Open sectional qualifiers being staged in Columbus on Monday, Perry is heading to Memphis, where, after news of his decision comes to light publicly, he might be checking into a hotel down at the end of lonely street.

Paradoxical as it might sound to the rest of us, he believes the best way to play for his country in Louisville is to sit out the national championship at Torrey Pines, a course he mostly detests.

"I'm picking the tournaments I am going to do well in," he said. "My focus is on tournaments where I have a chance. I am not going to kill myself to play in a tournament where I'm not going, well, where I might do OK. But I doubt it."

So purely for practical reasons, he made what most avid golfers would call an impractical decision. All year, Perry has admittedly been in an outright sprint to earn points to qualify for the Ryder team, and Memphis will mark his seventh straight PGA Tour event. The U.S. Open, mind you, presents a double-points opportunity for Ryder hopefuls, but the way Perry sees it, if playing in the tiring Monday qualifier messes up his chances in Memphis and beyond, why bother, then face enduring the USGA's not-so-little shop of horrors?

"If it was at another venue more in the south, yes, I'd be there," he said after shooting 74 on Saturday. "I saw those tee boxes when I was there earlier this year -- it's going to be a disaster. It's going to be so hard."

For him, it's tough enough already. In his 22 years on tour, Perry has made three trips to the Buick Invitational, which also is staged at Torrey Pines, and has never played on the weekend. To him, it's as palatable as a taco from a Tijuana street vendor.