Demanding and dreary Birkdale day leaves all feeling weary

How brutal was the opening act? Five-time British Open champion Tom Watson birdied the first hole and was the only player under par at any point over the first three hours of play. At that point, the players listed in the top 20 had amassed a total of four birdies. Scott Verplank and Nick O'Hern each bogeyed their first two holes and were tied for 13th.

Two native Brits, Ian Poulter and Justin Rose, played while wearing knit ski caps over their golf caps. Rising American standout Hunter Mahan was in second place at 1 over through five holes, then played the next 10 holes in 11 over -- with a birdie.

Perez was already planning his Friday night departure, even after it was pointed out that plenty of other guys struggled in the opening round, too.

"Do you think I really care if I play on the weekend?" said Perez, whose group also suffered the indignity of being put on the clock. "I really don't, to be honest.

"It's an experience. It makes you look stupid. I don't shoot 82."

This time, he did. And he was hardly alone.