Grammatically, it probably sends English teachers not only to the blackboard, but to the liquor or medicine cabinets.
It's a word-wrecking phrase that has picked up popularity in PGA Tour circles over the past couple of years, and despite using verbs as nouns, it's fairly self-explanatory.
When a player finds himself in the trees, traps or other such predicament, it's become trendy to say, "that's a tough leave," which is downright syntaxing on the ears.
As it relates to the disappointment that often defined 2009, leaving the season behind isn't tough at all. In fact, it's the best advice any golf aficionado could follow.
It's been suggested that '09 was the worst season in golf history, for a distressingly large set of reasons. There was the never-ending Tiger Woods sex scandal, the loss of several tournament sponsors, corporate sponsors under federal scrutiny for taking TARP money, the player mutiny leading to the ouster of the LPGA's first female commissioner, some uncomfortable rules imbroglios involving prominent players on multiple tours, Phil Mickelson's dual family medical issues, underdogs edging the sentimental favorites at all four major championships, the tour issuing its first drug-related suspension, ad nauseam, ad infinitum.
Given the way it ended in particular, with the crunching sound of fender against tree and a hero tumbling from a pedestal onto the blacktop, the seasonal story was easy to pan. No matter what happens, 2010 will play like a blockbuster by comparison.
As for the English teachers, we're breaking down the plot into its nouns of renown -- the people, places and things -- most likely to be newsworthy as the new season opens this week at the newly titled SBS Championship in Hawaii. Over the next three weeks, we'll examine the cast, script and venues of 2010 as the plotline mercifully heads into a fresh season.
We'll roll titles and credits, starting this week with the primary cast members.
Phil's big chance (the sequel)
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| This might be the year Lefty finally steps fully past Tiger to the forefront. (Getty Images) |
In 2008, when Woods missed half the season while recovering from knee surgery, Mickelson not only failed to capitalize on the opening, he moved backward in Woods' absence. This time, right out of the chute, Lefty is clearly the top dog, both based on the pecking order and his play late last year.
Mickelson beat Woods twice last fall, in Atlanta and China, and showed signs that the nagging issues with his so-so putting stroke had at last been solved. He went 4-0-1 at the Presidents Cup and was the U.S. team's best player. Mickelson, expected to make his season debut at the San Diego Open on Jan. 28, turns 40 later this year, so the meter is running.
It stands to reason that Mickelson will inherit some of the fans who are certain to defect from the Woods bandwagon. Yet the momentum had started to swing Lefty's way, even before the sex scandal hit. When Mickelson won the Tour Championship last fall, it marked the fifth time Woods had finished second to him (Mickelson has four times been runner-up to Woods over the years).
Over the past seven instances in which they have been paired in sanctioned PGA Tour events, Mickelson has had the lower score five times and tied Woods in another.
Rather infamously, Mickelson has never won the tour's top player award, led the final seasonal money list, been ranked No. 1 in the world or had the lowest stroke average. With Woods in seclusion, it's not so much that a window has been left open for Mickelson, but a sliding glass door. It would be good for the game if he not only stepped up, but stepped through.
Where have you gone, Tiger Woods?
We might as well take the 2010 schedule, affix it to a dartboard, turn off the lights, turn around three times, then fling a dart in the presumed direction of the wall.
That would be the most effective way of determining when Woods will return to tour competition. After stepping away indefinitely in late December to supposedly clean up his incomprehensibly messy personal life, Woods has given no indication when he will return. Or, more alarmingly, if he is inclined to return at all.
In his absence, TV ratings, attendance, charitable payouts and casual fan interest will surely suffer to some degree, as they did when he missed half of 2008 and the early portion of 2009.
In some fashion, the matter of when he returns is probably secondary to what he'll say and how he'll behave upon mounting his comeback. Some fans, betrayed by his disingenuous image and unseemly behavior, have bailed forever. What reception will await the world's most famous, if not notorious, sports figure? This cat burned nine lives and then some -- the unofficial mistress count was around 14 or 15.
Will it ever be the same? Should it be?
When majors felt like minors
Quick, can you name the four guys who won the Grand Slam events last season? Tick, tick, tick ... No answer? Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Depending on the yardstick used to measure success, some have posed the proposition that the aforementioned foursome was the weakest crop of major winners in history. The Slam victories posted by Angel Cabrera, Lucas Glover and Y.E. Yang represented the second PGA Tour-sanctioned wins of their careers. Of course, in the ultimate spoiler role, the affable Stewart Cink gunned down a golfing Gary Cooper at high noon, outdueling aging favorite Tom Watson at the British Open.
Which way from here, we ask? Well, there seems little chance that the foursome will land in Shaun Micheel territory -- he hasn't won since the 2003 PGA Championship and has since lost his card -- but their future paths will bear watching. All four unseated hugely sentimental favorites to win, after all, and won't be completely forgiven unless they validate the victories elsewhere.
Those accursed Europeans
Wait, that mini-headline doesn't sound right.
It had been nine years since England's scrappy Lee Westwood had last topped the European Tour money list, now called the Race to Dubai. But after a stellar closing run, he surged past a handful of players to claim both the season finale and the accompanying prize monies.
What happens to Westy now? Well, that's a potentially daunting question, since the last four guys to have topped the ET money list have endured a few issues at times afterward, to say the least. Padraig Harrington ranked first in 2006 and, despite winning two majors in 2008, was winless last year. Justin Rose topped the earnings chart in 2007 and scooted down the world rankings last season, dropping from 19th to 70th by year's end.
The money leader in 2008, Robert Karlsson, the first Swede to top the tour in earnings, suffered a bizarre eye injury last year and barely played in the second half. Incidentally, the E-Tour money leader in 2005 was Colin Montgomerie, and about the only thing in which he ranks first these days is punchlines to chubby jokes. As for other bad karma, the three players on the front of the 2009 European Tour media guide, Karlsson, Harrington and Trevor Immelman, had a combined zero wins for the season.
Taking Whan for the team
Back before Woods became the unofficial pitchman for Levitra, Cialis and Viagra, determining the man occupying the most difficult position in golf was not a remotely lengthy discussion.
That spot, until Thanksgiving Day, belonged to Mike Whan, who on Monday officially began his tenure as the new commissioner of the LPGA.
While the women's tour starts its new broadcast contract with the Golf Channel this year, which will greatly solidify and simplify its mode of exposure to fans, Whan faces a difficult battle in recapturing sponsors, ending the exodus of tournaments abroad and regaining momentum lost by ousted chief Carolyn Bivens.
Bivens tried to leverage sponsors into forking over more money, despite an increasingly weak hand, alienating many and angering even more. Whan, said to be a personable guy and an early riser, was cold-calling potential sponsors even before his tenure began, a Golf Channel official said. He has a background hawking hockey and golf equipment, and hopefully he won't confuse the two, since cross-checking sponsors into the glass didn't work that well for his predecessor.
Fowler takes flight
This will sound unkind, and it isn't intended to be, but Rickie Fowler is golf's most promising and prominent college dropout since Woods, or, at minimum, Anthony Kim.
After advancing into a playoff as a sponsor exemption at the Fry's.com Open last year, Fowler nearly secured his 2010 card in a handful of starts, adding some much-needed panache to the often-flat Fall Series storylines. As it was, he was forced to attend Q-school, where he sailed though with nary a worry to cement his status in the big leagues this year.
Fowler often plays golf like he once raced his motocross bikes in the California desert -- full throttle, in the air and with little regard for life or limb (he has the fractures to prove it). He learned the game from a driving-range pro and is as hungry as any player in years to get to the top. He should be a terrific shot in the arm not just for the tour, but for the rapidly graying ranks of top American players.
Then there's this other kid
There was a moment last year at Doral that served as a true indication, on two fronts, that a certain mop-topped Irish lad was the real deal.
That's when Rory McIlroy, all of age 19 at the time and surrounded by BBC Radio, myself and a couple of other scribes, was told of the words Woods had used moments earlier to describe his game. "We can all see it," Woods said of McIlroy. "The way he hits the golf ball, the way he putts, the way he can chip, get up-and-down. He has the composure. He has all of the components to be the best player in the world, there's no doubt."
To our mild surprise, McIlroy not only didn't blush when informed of Woods' words, he stoically shrugged it off. Then he made the cut at all four majors and nearly topped the E-Tour money list, finishing an amazing second to Westwood. Now 20, McIlroy has boldly joined the PGA Tour -- though his management group wasn't crazy about the idea -- and ranks as the runaway favorite for Rookie of the Year.
Last season, the tour didn't have a rookie winner for the first time since 1998. With guys like Fowler, McIlroy and Q-school medalist Troy Merritt in the mix, that statistic almost certainly won't be extended.
Mighty Casey has sat out
Paul Casey had a career half-year.
After trying for eons to bust through the grass ceiling on the PGA Tour, Casey won last year in Houston, jumped to No. 3 in the world ranking -- making him the highest-ranked Englishman since Nick Faldo -- and then spent the rest of the year learning exactly how long it takes for an intercostal muscle tear to heal.
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| Michelle Wie might have gotten her act together just in time for the LPGA. (Getty Images) |
Of the injured elite who have traditionally occupied spots in the world top 50, Casey joins Robert Karlsson (eye), Sergio Garcia (wrist), Martin Kaymer (foot) and former Masters champion Trevor Immelman (wrist) among those trying to make their way back from lengthy stints on the sideline, if not surgeries. Then there's that Woods guy, who figures to gain some serious shelf time because of bruises of another sort.
Wiesy does it
Maybe Woods, if not the economically challenged game itself, can find solace in Michelle Wie's comeback and career makeover.
After two years in golfing Hades, Wie climbed out of the flames like a Phoenix and resurrected her reputation over the past 13 months, playing her way onto the LPGA via Q-school, helping the U.S. win the Solheim Cup and winning a title in her rookie season to whet the public appetite for more.
Already a fading star at age 18, the once-isolated Wie made friends on the tour, developed a rapport with the media -- such as it is in LPGA circles -- and seemed to have learned some hard lessons. Just as important, she learned how to close the deal and vanquished some golfing ghosts, hitting the required hero shot from a bunker on the 72nd hole to nail down her first win of any sort since 2003.
It's been said before but bears repeating, given her reputational remodeling job: Given her telegenetic smile and attacking style of play, and the key fact that she's an American, Wie could prove as invaluable to the women as Woods is to the men.
Who would have wagered, a mere 12 months ago, that their fortunes would seem headed in completely different directions?
