Up & Down: Full ahead for Ai, but Rickie backs off

As the PGA Tour moves from the Left Coast to the East, CBSSports.com senior writer Steve Elling takes the lay of the entire landscape as golf heads into the Florida Swing.

Up

An aye for Ai
The company she's keeping, frankly, is amazing. When she won in Singapore on Sunday, emerging Japanese star Ai Miyazato became the fifth player ever to win the first two LPGA tournaments to open a season, joining Marilynn Smith, Mickey Wright, Louise Suggs and Babe Zaharias -- all Hall of Famers. It hadn't been done in 44 years, and we all know that the depth of the tour has never been better. A week earlier, Miyazato fired the lowest closing round by a winner in four years with a 63. It's stunning that she didn't win in her first 3½ years on the U.S. tour after blazing through Q-school in late 2005 to win by 12 strokes. A mere 5-feet-1 or not, she'll be bigger than Ryo Ishikawa if she keeps this up.

Sweet 16
Some hard-line traditionalists believe it's like playing during a Megadeth sound check, but there's no doubt that the rollicking 16th at TPC Scottsdale presents an arena unlike any other in the sport, especially now that the comparatively rowdy Buick Open has shut down for good. The 16th is bigger and louder than ever -- ask Ian Poulter -- and the best line of the week came via Sports Illustrated, which called it the most famous hole in Arizona outside of the Grand Canyon. It's becoming one of the most famous holes in the world, outside of the Marianas Trench.

Stand and deliver
While his nearest pursuer was laying up on the final par-5 Sunday at the Phoenix Open and being torched for being timid, Hunter Mahan was going down swinging. Mahan went for both par-5 greens in two on the back nine and hit one of the best shots of the season, a monster 3-wood from 252 yards to within seven feet for an eagle on the 13th that put him within striking range of his overdue second career victory. Mahan has long been tabbed as one of the best young players on the horizon but has made the past three Presidents or Ryder cup teams only as a captain's pick. He currently ranks No. 5 in Ryder points and looks poised to earn a trip to Wales based on merit, not reputation.

Oh, the humanity
There was plenty of crazy news last week in golf, ranging from more disastrous PR splatter on the Tiger Woods front (see below) to the marginally controlled insanity on the course in Phoenix. But nothing seemed more outrageous than the fact that a company has signed John Daly to help hawk a line of men's skivvies. Because, after all, we all want the image of a sweaty pair of tight-fitting underwear on a marginally obese man dancing dangerously in our heads, especially after he's waddled around for 18 holes. But I guess the theoretical visuals could have been worse. He could be endorsing men's thongs. (We will pause now while you prepare to gouge out your eyes, but please read the rest of this page first.) The skivvies are called Slix. What, had "Skids" had already been licensed?

Lord of the Rings
Looking for a job in the golf business and like to travel? Don't mind capitulating to the whims of a bunch of disjointed, self-absorbed organizations that haven't been on the same page at any point in their combined histories? Have we got the dream gig for you. Last week, the powers that be in golf announced the formation of a new position as the czar of Olympic golf, which will require the chosen applicant to, appropriately, live in Switzerland. That's apt not just because it's near the IOC headquarters, but because whoever gets the job is going to have to assume a neutral, of not submissive, pose to folks at the European Tour, LPGA, Masters Tournament, PGA of America, PGA Tour, R&A and USGA -- who are his bosses. Coordinating the divergent needs and soul-crushing egos contained within those groups will be like hazardously juggling razor blades, chainsaws and Carolyn Bivens all at once -- in the dark. Good luck applicants. Betting you will need it.

Down

The lay-up drill
You might call it conservative. Others might insert a slightly more caustic term, like gutless. Whatever, the reaction to rising rookie star Rickie Fowler's decision to lay up on a par-5 when he only needed 210 yards to clear a greenside water hazard was the third time this year that a player in contention balked instead of going for the glory Sunday. Earlier, Michael Sim and Tim Clark elected to hit wedge shots into crucial par-5s on Sundays rather than play for a possible eagle or birdie from close range. Both of Fowler's playing partners Sunday went for the green on the 15th, and they were farther out than he was. Predictably, Fowler didn't make a birdie with a wedge in hand and finished a shot behind Mahan. In uncharacteristically strong words for the Golf Channel, tournament analyst Brandel Chamblee said the decision to lay up was "without question the most shocking play I have seen in 2010."

A million folks just became carnivores
Were we punked or played last week by PETA, which announced that it planned to post a derisive, incredibly insensitive billboard featuring Tiger Woods near his home in suburban Orlando? Quite possibly, because it's hard to fathom how the organization could be so stupid otherwise. The proposed billboard advocated, with no input or permission from Woods, getting pets spayed or neutered so they didn't run wild sexually, like the world No. 1 did during his much-debated sex scandal. A day later, after Woods' lawyers contacted PETA, the organization backed down. Publicity stunt or not, the message and medium were in incredibly poor taste and probably made a few vegetarians convert to the meat-eating line at the cafeteria.

As fate would have it
After he won the match play title two weekends ago, we described colorful Ian Poulter as something of a Cockney Cockatiel, given his bleached and teased hair, colorful attire and ability to squawk and call attention to himself. Looks like he took the bird analogy a step farther Sunday when, after missing a seven-foot birdie putt on the 16th hole, fans booed him and he flashed his middle finger in response. Poulter, of course, denied that he had made an obscene gesture, which was broadcast live and was hard to interpret as anything but. The Englishman said he merely had an itch on his nose. "I can scratch my nose with whatever finger I want," he said. That's true, and hopefully, the PGA Tour will fine you a ton of scratch for exercising this particular option during a global telecast.

Please, God, make it stop
We list the following as a public service, mostly because some of you have lives and cannot possibly be expected to keep up with the ceaseless amount of bad news that keeps piling up for Tiger Woods, if not the game's reputation in general. Last week, prominent rap star Ludacris released a derisive song mocking Woods' infamous cell-phone call to one of his mistresses, he lost a reported $100 million endorsement deal with Gatorade, it was learned that athletes tied to a controversial Canadian doctor Woods used are being subpoenaed by the FBI as part of a drug probe, he was dogged again on Saturday Night Live, reportedly checked into rehab, learned that two expose-style books about him will be released by mid-summer and found out that shock jock Howard Stern is organizing a beauty pageant for his slew of former mistresses. Oh, and two porno movies spoofing his sexcapades are already in stores. Thanks, Tiger, this is just what the game needed.

Here comes the dread bull
The economy is in the tank, endorsement opportunities for many players are scarce or less valuable, and players are trying to take care of the companies that are festooning their name across hats, bags and shirts. But Camilo Villegas has edged ever closer to being a NASCAR-caliber shill. Villegas has a lucrative endorsement deal with an energy drink and its red-and-blue logo is stamped on the portable metal water canister he carries on the course. Whenever Villegas does an interview, on TV or in the press center, he hauls the canister with him and takes a well-times swig so that it gets TV time. That alone is annoying. I asked him once if the canister was actually filled with the energy drink. "Of course," he said. That can't possibly be true, because if it was, his head would explode from the caffeine and sugar. If you haven't figured out the identity of the drink by now, it contains a word that describes Villegas' eye-rolling insistence on turning the company logo into a stage prop for his own financial gain: "bull."