New World Order: To twit, here lie golf's top tweeters
Club officials know that they are headed, in a 180-degree sprint, in the opposite direction of the European and PGA tours, which have essentially given up trying to keep fans from toting the ringing, buzzing and chirping devices into tournament venues.
The guys who run the Masters? Having a cell phone is a firing-squad offense. Fans can't set foot on the hallowed grounds without stepping through metal detectors. Even we industrious media types can't take cell phones outside, and a handful who tried had their credentials summarily yanked last week.
Players were given written notice that cell phones are not, under any circumstances, allowed on the Augusta National grounds, where officials are fighting mightily to create a serene sanctuary from the pell-mell of the outside world. Fair enough, it's their ballpark.
Alas, the cold-turkey ban last week created a huge void in an increasingly successful player medium. Not allowed the chance to thumb out their knee-jerk thoughts from inside the Augusta grounds, the Twitter world all but went quiet, creating a dearth of insight, humor and information compared to most weeks.
It was more of a brownout, but some had withdrawal symptoms, if not full-blown informational DTs, which in this case is short for delirium Twitters. That's because, many times, there's no faster path to what's happening between a player's ears than via their Tweets, which are unedited, 140-character blasts of honesty, self-deprecation and ego. Sometimes, all at once.
Here at New World Order, our weekly list of all things irreverent and relevant in golf, we hadn't noticed how addicting the bits of tid had become until they were somewhat curtailed last week by the Augusta lockdown. That said, given the level of entertainment the best Twit-wits can sometimes produce, here is our first list of the most polished "thumbers" in the golf business, those who enrage, entertain and educate in tiny little shards of information.
There's a fine line between using Twitter to pimp products and prosthletize, and those on the list make the distinction most of the time. Even when they don't, it's worth the occasionally self-serving pitches to glean some unexpurgated thoughts. Even when they are unpopular.
As the No. 1 Twitter practitioner in golf put it only a few hours ago, "too many people think being honest is disrespectful," Ian Poulter said. "They need to get a grip."
These guys grip their cell phones better than anybody in the sport. Follow our lead, start following these guys, and prepare to be amused and enlightened.
1. Ian Poulter
Twitter handle: @IanJamesPoulter
Country: England
Number of followers: 1.16 million
The reigning king, despite the fact that Stewart Cink has a few more followers. For Poulter, his ascendance to god status began before most fans or players had embraced the Twitter phenomenon, when he Tweeted a cell-phone photo taken from the middle of the 18th fairway at the U.S. Open two years ago in New York. Ever since, he has produced a steady stream of quality productions, including a hilarious series of film clips last fall revolving around the Ryder Cup, including his kids eating Cheerios out of it. Poulter also uses his account to debate points, root for his favorite sports teams, and chides journalists for what he perceives to be shoddy work. The funniest bit might have been a few weeks back, when his wife came home from the hairdresser with a bad dye job, and Poulter posted pictures of the before-and-after disaster -- despite great personal risk to family harmony, I might add. He's brave, he's brash and he's colorful. In other words, it's the ideal forum.
2. Stewart Cink
Twitter handle: @stewartcink
Country: USA
Number of followers:1.2 million
One of the brightest guys on the PGA Tour, Cink has Tweeted everything from photos of his backyard BBQ to personal photos of his family. I just wish he'd express his opinion more often. Because unlike some relative tour newbies on this list, he's certainly deserved the right to have one. Cink seems to have throttled back on the volume over the past few months as he wrestles to get his game back in shape. Hope it's just temporary.
3. Bubba Watson
Twitter handle: @bubbawatson
Country: USA
Number of followers: 112K
Watson is easily the funniest of the Yanks who have embraced the format. He's more than embraced it -- he's grabbed on and humped its leg. He and Rickie Fowler, who also made this list, were actually staging a sort of video war a few months back, including a hilarious clip of Watson trying to perform a diving-board stunt on a Razor scooter that went comically awry. Watson would have ranked higher, but the grammar, sometimes, is cringe-inducing.
4. Graeme McDowell
Twitter handle: @Graeme_McDowell
Country: Northern Ireland
Number of followers: 130K
McDowell has all the tools to be an all-world Tweet magician. He can upload pictures and videos, he has a self-deprecating sense of humor, and he isn't afraid to engage fans who send along questions and comments. A truly glib guy, it's hardly a surprise that he has a strong communication skill set. In fact, it's easy to envision him as a network analyst someday. You knew McDowell had become a Twitter master when he posted a photo of his wisdom teeth -- freshly yanked from his jaw -- moments after the dentist had wrestled them out. The shock alone elicited a big laugh.
5. Rickie Fowler
Twitter handle: @RickieFowlerPGA
Country: USA
Number of followers: 106K
Fowler is a smart kid, age 22 or not. Social media is huge in his age group and he cultivates it like a crop, including the occasional spread of manure in the form of his fake war with Watson. His trademark is to Tweet the words GO TIME just before he turns off his phone and walks to the first tee for live play. Like some of the others above, Fowler occasionally engages fans in Q&A sessions, which certainly helps make a connection. He's arguably become the third-most popular player on the PGA Tour behind Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods as a result.
6. Lee Westwood
Twitter handle: @WestwoodLee
Country: England
Number of followers: 165K
Talk about undervalued. Westwood has a biting sense of humor that is perfect for Twitter hit-and-run barbs, but since he only recently started an account, he's miles behind veterans thumbers like Cink and Poulter, the Jedi knights of the art form. More than a few times, Westy has engaged in a full-blown war of the wits with players like Rory McIlroy, with hilarious results. In fact, Westy helped popularize one of the mop-topped McIlroy's better nicknames, "Afroboy." In a sport screaming for color, Westwood certainly helps supply some humor. At times, Westwood uses Twitter as something of a global golf chat room. That's when he's at his deadpan best.
7.Rory McIlroy
Twitter handle: @McIlroyRory
Country: Northern Ireland
Number of followers: 232K
The only member of this list to be singled out for a Best Twitter honors, as bestowed recently by Time magazine. That's ridiculous, of course, because he's a relative babe in the woods compared to the masters, Ian and Stu, but McIlroy has definite promise. All you need to know about his character can be found on his Twitter page at this moment -- a photograph of McIlroy happily placing his arm around Masters winner Charl Schwartzel, who was wearing the green jacket that McIlroy believed he would own. Good kid, great insight, and more than enough funny bits to keep it entertaining.
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Twitter handle: @HankDHaney
Country: USA
Number of followers: 17K
He has the smallest band of devotees on the list, but it's growing. Haney, the former swing coach to Tiger Woods and Mark O'Meara, among others, is unquestionably the most active Twitter addict on this list. Nobody engages the followers more often than Haney, who conducts Q&A sessions almost daily and isn't afraid to comment on the hot-button career of his former top student, Woods.
9. Justin Rose
Twitter handle: @JustinRose99
Country: England
Number of followers: 48K
Rose isn't the funniest guy on the list. He certainly doesn't bang out Tweets at the pace of Haney or Poulter, who seem to be chained to their cell phone keyboards. But he's being honored here mostly for producing the funniest golf-related Twitter photo of all time. Earlier this year, Rose snapped a photo of the bearded Lucas Glover, who looks like he hadn't shaved since winning the National Open at Bethpage Black two years ago. Under the photo of the shaggy Glover, Rose wrote: "Winning a U.S. Open -- so simple, a caveman can do it." Priceless. Well played.
10. Paul Azinger
Twitter handle: @PaulAzinger
Country: USA
Number of followers: 33K
A major winner, Ryder Cup captain, network TV analyst and foosball king. Small wonder he embraced the fast-twitch communication form that is Twitter. Azinger has been known to use his account to fire off political broadsides -- he's so conservative, he makes Rush Limbaugh look like Bill Clinton -- but the occasionally brilliant bits are worth wading through the dogma. His best bit? When he engaged Poulter in a battle of Twit wit last fall and posted a photo of himself with a cheesy grin, polishing the Ryder Cup he helped win back as captain in 2008. Poulter thought it was absolutely brilliant. Mr. Azinger, you are 1 up. But as fast as the Twitter world works, the score is adjusted hourly.
