Why I Hate the Pittsburgh Steelers
In honor of Steelers Week, I've decided to give a little insight as to exactly why I absolutely hate the Steelers and everything they stand for. There are so many reasons, that boiling it down to ten is difficult, but I've done my best. Here we go...
Number 10 - The Jaw
This man...this man really gets me. That smug smile of his, the arrogant way he went about business, gah! Bill Cower is the embodiment of all things Steeler. You know once... just once did I want to see the Brownies put this guy in his place. Back in Cowher's day - all those Pittsburgh teams did was pound the ball. They won by being physical and for that - Steeler fans felt like they had a very dominating team. Of course they used that opportunity to condescend us Browns for not being as 'physical', which sadly happened to be true. Cowher would use that power running game to milk the clock - relishing in every moment of this slow methodical torture. Thank you Bill Cowher - the mental anguish you and your darn Steelers inflicted upon me as a child make me hate you that much more.
Number 9 - Double Yoi!
As an aspiring journalist, I have the utmost respect for the career and lasting legacy of Myron Cope. However as a Browns fan, the man's broken English and nonsensical remarks were some of the most annoying aspects of past Steelers football. What the heck does "double yoi" even mean?!? You couldn't understand what the man said - and his biased broadcasting style along with the homerish commentary polluted our radio stations bye week after bye week. Cope is a legend - though he chose the wrong team to support which landed him on here on my list.
Number 8 - "It's all in the family"
Back in the day - when I was a wee Brown, Papacheeks took me to see a Browns' game at Cleveland Municipal Stadium. The experience itself was awesome - seeing all the energized Browns in the stands cheering for the home team. Everybody looked so happy back then... until the game started. What I do remember about that particular game was that the Steelers completely dismantled us. Everyone went from smiles and cheers to frowns and boos. The team from Pittsburgh brought so much grief onto all those in the stadium that day that they had to be evil. How could one team bring so much sadness to our loyal and happy fans?
Number 7: Syringes behind the Curtain
The Pittsburgh Steelers of the 1970s cheated. That's not to say the Browns or any other team of that era didn't, but the Steelers cheated better than anyone else. I hate the Steelers because their beloved history and Super Bowl rings came during a time in NFL football where players used performance enhancement drugs. All of their glorified heroes and legends took it in the butt - yet we still hold Franco, Lambert, and Green in such high regard. (As reference - Otto Graham isn't even mentioned with other great QBs) Moreover, the Steelers boast their 5 Super Bowl victories, and are widely acclaimed for being one of the more reputable franchises in history. The Browns hold 8 League Championships, yet many still consider them "The Mistake by the Lake."
Number 6: "My steel rod will never bend."
Steely McBeam. Wow. Honestly, I never thought that a mascot could be more obnoxious than an organization - but I was wrong. Is this some kind of sick joke? What kind of twisted audience is Steely McBeam even appealing to? His protruding chin, cheesy smile, and that gimmick steel-worker costume make me hate this franchise even more. NFL teams do not need mascots - and McBeam proves that statement right in every single way.
Number 5: $108 Million Undeserved Dollars
Things came too easy for Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers. Shortly after he was drafted, Big Ben "lead" Pittsburgh to the AFC Championship game. The year after, he "won" the Super Bowl and became the youngest quarterback ever to "lead" his team to the Super Bowl. The Steelers eventually rolled huge barrels of cash at the man - and declared him their franchise quarterback. As a Browns' fan, you have to understand my jealously here. Franchise quarterbacks are supposed to take years to find :( Making the transition or passing the touch isn't supposed to be as seamless as the Steelers made it. Ben's a good QB, but anyone the Browns use as comparison will never have the immediate success and accolades as Roethlisberger did.
Number 4: The Reason I Will Never Watch Fox Sports
Arguably the most hated Steeler of all-time, Terry Bradshaw is in a class of his own. Fortunately I never had the chance to watch any of his games on a first-hand basis - but from what I hear the man is pure steel evil. The most recent incarnation of this Bradshaw appears on the FOX Sports NFL pre-game show. This version of Terrible Terry provides enough for me to realize how big a jerk he must of been in his day. His game analysis is slanted, his mock hair piece - disgusting, and his honestly I find his homeristic commentary to a national audience sickening. The only good BADshaw has provided me with was that beautiful, marvelous, erotic, sensational, wonderful, glorious play in 1976 where Turkey Jones masterfully suplexed Bradshaw - drilling him head-first into solid ground.
Number 3: Steeler Fans
I say this with caution, because I have met some Steelers fans here on Sportsline that turn out to be decent people. On an individual basis, I suppose some of them are okay, but as a group - forgettaboutit. Pittsburgh Steelers fans' are the football equivalent to baseball's Boston Red Sox fans. They flood your stadium (wherever you are), talk trash the entire game, and then go back home only to do it again the next time the teams meet. There's something slightly different about Steeler fans though, which will be revealed on this list in a couple spots. Going back to the Steeler fans traveling well, it doesn't stop at football games. Even here, in the middle of Ohio, there are hundreds of people clad in the world's most obnoxious colors - walking around campus just to irritate the heavily Browns/Bengals crowd. Disgusting.
Number 2: Make it Stop! Make it Stop! Make it Stop!
Since the turn of the new millennium, the Steelers are 15-2 against the Browns - having won a series' record 9 games in a row. Go back 10 more years to 1990 and the Steelers are 25-7 against us. TWENTY-FIVE AND FREAKING SEVEN! This is madness! I can only take so much abuse and punishment for goodness sake! Browns fans can only live in the past for so long. A season or so ago, I remember Joey Porter coming out and saying that "Browns/Steelers isn't a rivalry anymore." Isn't a rivalry - are you kidding me?!? It's almost to the point where people are ashamed of being Browns' fans in context of Steelers. The last time the Browns made a statement in the rivalry was September 10th, 1989 - where the Browns won in Pittsburgh 51-0. I was two years old. This generation of Browns fans has nothing to hang our hats on - and as a result have lost some of the pride that made this competition what it is.
Number 1: The Terrible Towel
He ran ninety -three
Like a bat out of hell
And no one could see
How he rambled so well
"it was easy," said Andy
And he flashed a crooked smile
"I was snapped on the fanny
By the Terrible Towel!"
It is this crowned piece of trash that infuriates me more than anything else about the Pittsburgh Steelers. Whether it's at Cleveland Browns Stadium, Ketchup Field, or any other place in the NFL - this cheap gimmick is the flagship symbol of the entire Evil Empire. Wherever the Steelers go - so do Steelers fans, and Steelers fan travel with these "poo-poo rags" with them - stinking up any stadium with the misfortune of hosting them.
On a family vacation to Baltimore, we had the unfortunate experience of stopping in Pittsburgh. After navigating through that backwards city, we came across a shop that sold those terrible Towels. I bought one in hopes of burning it once the Browns beat the Steelers.
THAT WAS NEARLY 5 YEARS AGO!
I don't know what else to say. The bottom line is the Cleveland Browns need to end this humiliation at the hands of our arrogant rivals. Winning 10 games in a row is unprecedented, and would put a black mark on Phil Savage and Romeo Crennel's entire operation. It's about time to win a game. With the nation focusing on us, we need a strong showing from everyone just to save face.