Alright. Its been 14 weeks and its obvious to everyone except the Bears franchise (1K for 4 playoff tickets?! (that are mandatory to purchase in order to keep your season tickets, by the way)) that this team is going nowhere. Which is exactly the opposite of what I would have told you in August had you told me that the Bears offense would have the # 6 rusher and a quarterback with a rating of 83.3. So what went wrong? Just read it and we will all be done with it.
Everything went wrong except the #6 rusher and the quarterbacks 83.3 passer rating. And even those two have outperformed those statistics but have been held back by Olin Kreutz's old age and lack of balance while being pushed (which happens allot at Center), John St. Clair's amazingly large (and slow) ass, and the receivers inability or unwillingness to hold on to footballs, blocks, or starting positions. I thought receivers got to wear those sticky gloves? Anyways, at least our TE's have been a positiv... ah crap. Olsens two fumbles single handedly cost us the Panthers game and Desmond Clark is our 5th leading reciever. YIKES!
But we knew coming in that our offense might not be so good and that we were in for another season of BEARS FOOTBALL. Our Defense and Special Teams Dynamic Trio of Gould, Maynard, and Hester would bore us to victory yet again! We were mentally prepared, bored, but ready to endure. Then they played Led Zeppelin, not Souldja Boy, when Hester ran onto the field. he was confused, the fans were confused, and now Devin cant stop doing the extremely long circle button move that doesnt even work in video games. And all of a sudden, Ball State Football was better known for, well, Ball State Football, than Brad Maynard. Then Brad started kicking 20 yard punts. At least Robbie Gould has lived up to his name. And Patrick Mannelly.
But we knew our defense was still something and healthy again. Mike Brown, Nathan Vasher, Brian Urlacher, Tommie Harris, and Dusty Dvoracek were all coming back healthy. We were going to dominate once again with Ogunleye and Brown pressuring from the sides while Briggs and Urlacher flocked to the ball and Peanut and Vasher put down the clamps and Mike Brown cleaned up the mess. And then Peanuts daughter almost died and he forgot to work on guarding receivers this summer. And Mike Brown just wanted to play 16 games one more time. And Vashers thumb and wrist hurt from touching himself too often. And Tommie Harris is getting dumber by the minute while I am increasingly more happy to see the short armed Anthony Adams than that cracker hillbilly from Oklahoma (have we learned anything about Oklahoma players AP not included?), Dusty Dvoracek. Alex Brown (5 sacks) and Lance Briggs (leading tacker) are the only players holding it down consistintly. Hunter Hillenmeyer doesnt even play! Nick Roach!? Are we serious with Nick Roach!?
But even with these guys playing at a lower level, can they be blamed 100%? Not at all. This is the problem and why I want nothing more to do with this team (or franchise) for the rest of the season. This coaching staff sucks! I have a 6 year old cousin that knows when the Bears are going to blitz! Mike Brown and Urlacher stand on the line of scrimmage for three seconds before the snap and they arent disguising anything! How many times will you sack a quarterback if you stand in front of a man that has 100 lbs on you and two more guys just like him next to him and not make a fake or drop into coverage once? ONCE?! This is absurd. Bob Babich, you have to go! You are an imbecile! Kevin Payne has yet to pay attention long enough during a play to realize the corners are releasing a receiver to him and that he should step up and close a hole and cover someone. Thats what the cover 2 is! YET HE STARTS AND PLAYS EVERY DOWN! (Sidenote question. two-parter. What was that safeties name last year that we had no use for (because Daniel Manning was the answer) that Carolina picked up? Who is leading the NFC safety balloting for Pro-Bowl? Chris Harris. But he doesn't fit Lovies scheme. CAROLINA RUNS THE COVER 2!) Look, Peanuts daughter almost died. He gets a pass. And Vasher should change his name to Sally, but you can't leave Deion Sanders and Champ Bailey on islands for as long as the Bears do and expect success. Denver tried it this year - it didnt work.
All of this falls on Lovie. Not benching Payne, Lovies fault. benching Hillenmeyer for this phantom Roach, Lovies fault. Keeping John St. Clair in the Minnesota game after the 5th time Jared Allen went untouched to Orton while the rookie is healthy and throwing dice on the sidelines, Lovies fault. Taking Hester off Kick returns, Lovies decision. And I'm ready for him to decide to leave. His scheme is flawed. Angelo hasn't brought in the few perfect players for his defensive scheme and Lovie hasn't adjusted to it or the league. This NFL is, and has been a league of copycats. When a team gets to the Super Bowl, Coaches and General managers look at the systems that got there, dissect them, then try to mimic them, then try to dominate them. And the league succeeds because they all spend 100 hours a week in the offseason preparing! In order to win more than once, you have to adjust. Do adjust and Lovie have anything in common? Have you seen Lovies adjust face?
Look, this could go on forever, but we should have known in the preseason when our rookie tackle got hurt waking up. we should have known in the preseason when our defense couldn't stop anyone. We should have known in the preseason when... ugh. I'm ready for it to end. I'm ready for the offseason when names like Anquan Boldin, Plaxico Burress, and T.J. Houshmanzedah are on the market and we need a big name receiver. I'm ready for our new 2nd round rookie starting something or other that we desperately need. I'm ready for Rex Grossman not to be in this town anymore. And if none of these things happen?
I'm ready for 2009 and Derrick Rose! Thanks allot Lovie...