Blog Entry

Ugliest Players in Major League Baseball

Posted on: April 28, 2011 12:00 pm
Edited on: June 19, 2011 12:55 am
So, I haven't posted on my blog in quite some time. What better way to brush off the cobwebs than post a Top 10 list?

Any true baseball fan watches at least 100 games a year. That's a nice round number, wouldn't you say? Not too high, not too low. Anyway, there's lots of slow time during a baseball game. Batters re-adjust their gloves between pitches. Pitchers take strolls after they don't get a call on a ball on the black.

The point is, we as fans get a lot of time to look at these ballplayers standing still for a long camera shot. Most of them are fairly modest to good looking men, and I say this in the most hetero sexual way possible.

But there are also a handful of players whose existence defines the word ugly. You know who they are. If you don't, allow me to share with you, in no particular order, a list of the ugliest players in baseball.

Aaron Harang
I wouldn't say Aaron Harang is as ugly as he is scary. Still, his hulking frame, bulging (yet lazy) eyes and underwhelming beard will make him a lock for this list for years to come.

Brett Gardner
I can't think of a player in baseball who wears a uniform worse than Brett Gardner. He wears his helmet low, his socks too high, and his uniform is too baggy. He's an embarrassment to the Pinstripes. His beady eyes and receding hairline don't help his cause.

A.J. Burnett
AJ just has one of those faces you want to flog with a 2x4. Not sure anyone would argue with his being on this list.

Jorge Cantu
You all knew this was coming. Jorge's grill looks like it was butchered with a razor blade everyday of his life since he first hit puberty. His wispy facial hair and horrid mustache put the cherry on this turd sundae.

Jack Wilson
Something is wrong with Jack Wilson's face. I'll leave it at that. Maybe one of you can elaborate for me, but if not, I'll let the Google search result speak for itself.

Colby Rasmus
The mullet and douche-bag-pencil-thin wannabe-mustache do Mr. Rasmus in.

Edinson Volquez
Big hair, big forehead and big lips. The guy's grill is frightful. In fact, If I had to put these guys in order, Mr. Volquez just might be THE ugliest player in baseball.

Honorable Mentions:

Miguel Cabrera, Jamey Carroll, Aaron Miles, Vicente Padilla, Jose Reyes, Wilson Valdez, Wes Helms, David Ortiz, John Lackey, Kevin Youkilis, Brian Wilson, Justin Turner, John Lannan

That's all I've got for now. I'm open to suggestions, I'd love to get this to an official top 10 list. So, if there's a player whose very appearance on camera offends you, leave a comment and I'll take him into consideration. Thanks for the read.

Category: MLB

Since: Oct 3, 2006
Posted on: June 16, 2011 1:04 pm

Ugliest Players in Major League Baseball

There are some good ones in there, especially Carroll and Cabrera. I'm not sure about some of the others, but to each his own.

Since: Mar 30, 2011
Posted on: June 8, 2011 11:53 pm

Ugliest Players in Major League Baseball

Just to name a few off the top of my head:
-Miguel Cabrera
-Tim Lincecum
-David Ortiz
-Travis Hafner
-Justin Morneau
-Jamey Carroll
-Ryan Howard
-Alexi Ogando
-Prince Fielder
-Billy Butler

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