Ok, so I have been on this CBS thing now for about 2 months and I am rated as an ALLSTAR, that's good right? I phoned my parents and rejoiced 2 days ago when I ascended to this glorious position. I mean as an ALLSTAR on the verge of making Superstar, I have responsibilities. People will be looking up to me and the autograph hounds will set in, the talk shows will start requesting time and my afternoons of playing pentatonic scales on my guitar will be washed away. Ok, I’m up for the task, just one problem I have no idea how or what I did to get the rating up to this. I now found myself somewhat frustrated as I am sitting at a score of 92 and seemingly have slowed down on this hike up the ladder even though I have posted quite a bit in the last couple of days. So I get the idea to read about the scoring system and unfortunately after reading it all, I have found myself to be even dumber. Oh wow, how am I ever to be this historic writing icon if I have no idea how I got here. What will I say if they decide to award me a Pulitzer for “Blogs that touched a nation, and made countries love” and they ask me how I did it all and rose to this ALLSTAR fame? Should I tell them the truth and say, well I have absolutely no idea! I really don’t have any idea and it scares me to the point where I lay in my bed at night and tremble with fear. How am I ever going to keep my score up, but more importantly, how am I going to attain getting into the top 10K? How about the Top 1K or even Top 100? I can’t even figure out how to get my skill score to register! I play fantasy golf and fantasy racing and either I truly suck goose eggs or that is not the way to raise this score. I am doomed to taste heaven and left with the knowledge that it is all fleeting. This is destined to all drop away as I have no chance because I have no idea how I got here! I’m losing weight, and I have begun to have awful dreams of falling.
My friends, fans and family, whilst I remain an ALLSTAR and hold this status of obvious importance, I promise to do my best to keep doing what ever it is I am doing. And when I start screwing up what I am doing, whatever that may be, I promise to fling my impotent carcass from a tower like the great writing samurai I must be. Until that day, read my rants chuckle at my chortles and follow my lead as I am seemingly like our last president. I have no idea how the hell I got here and I have no idea what I am doing to stay, but I’m important and it’s really cool