Blog Entry

Albert, you cheater.

Posted on: July 7, 2009 7:32 pm
 
Albert Pujols is a cheater.
He does steroids.
He does more than one steroid.
I bet he does about eight different steroids.
Yep thats right, I said it, Albert Pujols does about ten different steroids.
I even heard that one of them was a steroid developed specifically for circus elephants.
He does elephant steroids.
Also, "The Machine"?
If Albert Pujols is a half man half machine cyborg baseball player than he is definitely a cheater.
Everyone else in baseball is 100% human, but not Albert, no no no, he's part machine, and the human part as we covered earlier is using elephant steroids.
Cheater.
Also, I don't know about the rest of you but Im pretty sure that technology has not advanced far enough yet to create cyborgs.  So that means, and I'm sure many of you are already with me.  That means that Albert Pujols along with being a elephant steroid using cyborg, is from the future.The future!
Cheater!
Being from the future means that he could have look at tapes of baseball games that haven't even happened yet and then recorded every pitch into his computer brain!  That cheating steroid pumping future cyborg knows exactly which pitch is coming before the pitcher even goes into his wind up!
Cheater!
Not to mention and I know I'm not the first person to hear about this, but Albert Pujols sold his soul to the Devil.  Thats right folks "The Machine" as you St. Louis types call him is in league with Lucifer himself!  What a cheater.
Lets Recap:
Albert Pujols takes elephant steroids, is a cyborg from the future, and sold his soul to the Devil. I also heard he pays a cuban man named Manny Christobal Consuelo fifty bucks every game to sit in the stands and steal signals from the catcher.
CHEATER!
All I can say is no self respecting fan of MLB should be allowing this. I am writing this as a completely objective, neutral observer.  In my opinion you just aren't a baseball fan if you can watch that half roided man, half future machine. sign stealing, devil worshipping Cardinal.  This isn't the game that our ancestors built for us.  Babe Ruth is rolling in his grave.  Ty Cobb is crying tears from heaven... ok... Hell, Ty Cobb is crying in Hell.
Cheater!
Im Boycotting the All-Star game.
I refuse to drive through St. Louis.
I WILL NOT WEAR RED!  Red is the uniform of the cheater!
Im not even going to eat red things! No more apples, no more spaghetti, no more cherry slurpies!  Its all out!
I see a Cardinal at my bird bath, I'm shooting it! I don't care if its the state bird!
So you all know have a choice to make. 
An easy choice.
Join me on the side of right, or join Albert on the side of satanic future robots (on the roids)!  I think your decision is easy.
thank you.
Oh yeah one more thing, next time you watch that Satanic hitting robot smash one of his roid fueled bombs... Take a look at the pine tar... Just a little bit to high.
CHEATER!
Comments

Since: Oct 30, 2006
Posted on: July 8, 2009 7:23 am
 

Albert, you cheater.

I totally got your blog, and far from making me angry......it gave me a good laugh.

Besides.....TLR kinda reminds me of Chief Brody, and I'm sure there is a spare oxygen tank laying around Busch Stadium somewhere!




Since: May 12, 2009
Posted on: July 8, 2009 4:58 am
 

Albert, you cheater.

I will always be a sarcastic piece of dog poop... (can I say poop on CBS? I would like to cus more.), for that I'm sorry, but dude if you can't tell that I'm saying (through my douche bag sarcasm)  that Albert Pujols is most likely the best baseball player playing right now and it kills... KILLS me!  You're are an idiot... but not a normal idiot, I mean a super idiot, like the Batman of idiots (sorry Batman).   Albert Pujols is a douche, (but F@$% he can hit and...carry a team.) If I have angered you Card fan... Mission Accomplished!  Please keep reading the blog, I haven't  yet started (to anger Card fans.) be a douche yet... And as a Cub fan, personally I hope he can't carry Tony all year...  Whatever... Ill see you next weekend... ( for me imagine the Jaws song duh duh... duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh.... Bum Bwahhhhhhhhh Cubs are coming!) like you know.. the fin has a giant red C on it... and the shark... has Aramis Ramierez teeth and is going to eat you alive.



Since: May 23, 2009
Posted on: July 8, 2009 4:16 am
 

Albert, you cheater.

ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, MOST DEFINITELY HILARIOUS!!! EXCELLENT POST. The funniest post I've read since joining fantasy sports a few months ago. It was a wonderful "comic relief" piece. Please, keep up the good work!




Since: Oct 30, 2006
Posted on: July 7, 2009 10:15 pm
 

Albert, you cheater.

Hell....you are a Cubs fan......you should know already.



Since: Oct 30, 2006
Posted on: July 7, 2009 10:12 pm
 

Albert, you cheater.

I do see the sarcasm, and created a post dripping with just as much sarcasm. Perhaps you should try understanding the good natured joking that goes with the rivalry of Cubs and Cardinals fans.


jpwyllys
Since: May 29, 2008
Posted on: July 7, 2009 9:53 pm
This comment has been removed.

Post Deleted by Administrator




Since: Oct 30, 2006
Posted on: July 7, 2009 7:49 pm
 

Albert, you cheater.

Uhm.....You make it very clear that being a Cub's fan leads to brain damage. Don't feel bad damaged little Cubbie fan.....just start chanting......."there is always next year"



jpwyllys
Since: May 29, 2008
Posted on: July 7, 2009 7:35 pm
This comment has been removed.

Post Deleted by Administrator



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