By C.M. Tomlin
As the crew hunkers down for a seventeen-plus hour haul from Lawrence, Kansas to Chapel Hill, North Carolina -- to possibly watch the '10 Tarheels be defeated by Florida State, the Chapel Hill Church of the Nazarene Men's Sunday night pickup league and Girl Scout troop #435 -- a lot of ground is about to be covered. And since the team's been reading passages from Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass aloud to one another virtually nonstop since Milwaukee, it's become a more imporant charge than ever to soak in this magnificent country.
That said, let's take a look at some of the sights along the way.
Leila's Hair Museum (Independence, MO) -- Cosmetologist Leila Cohoon's personal exhibit of collected hair over her nearly forty years in the business includes a wreath made of Phyllis Diller's hair. This may be a draw for many, but not to the Road Trip crew because we always pack and travel with our own wreath of Phyllis Diller's hair.
Beetle Bailey Statue (Columbia, MO) -- The University of Missouri boasts a statue of comic strip icon Beetle Bailey, which no doubt thrills anyone over the age of 70 years old visiting the campus. Personally, I still think it's a travesty that there's no Hi & Lois art anywhere -- that strip's funny because it's true.
Museum of Physical Security (Nicholasville, KY) -- This personal collection of locks, dating back to the thirteenth century, is not only believed to be the largest collection of locks in the world but is also the site where southern neighbors Tennessee are currently keeping all their guns until the current men's basketball roster has graduated.
Congress' Secret Underground Bunker (White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia) -- It's no longer a secret that until 1995, the Greenbriar resort in West Virginia also housed a secret nuclear bomb-proof bunker built to house Congress in case of the apocalypse. It's no longer used as a bunker for Congress, however -- today the massive space has been repurposed to house Bob Huggins' emergency backup reserve of Absolut Citron.
World's Largest Chest of Drawers (High Point, North Carolina) --Since High Point is known as the "Home Furnishing Capital of the World," it only makes sense that the city would be home to a massive piece of furniture. This massive 80-foot replica of a chest of drawers is not only a popular tourism site for High Point but reportedly where Rick Majerus keeps his tighty whities.
Life is a highway, indeed. And if they make good time, the crew may even be able to get to the Dean Dome early enough to sit in on a Roy Williams "excuse brainstorming" meeting. I hear "temporary blindness" is on deck in case the Tarheels drop one to the 'Noles tomorrow night. We shall see. For now, the show keeps trucking 'cross America. More to come as the guys gear up for their ACC experience. In the meantime, tonight sees several ranked teams in what appear to be some gimmes, but you never know where an upset's going to come from. Among tonight games are #4 Syracuse at Providence, #13 Georgetown at Louisville and #6 Kansas State at Texas Tech. Plus, Road Crew new faves Northern Iowa visit Evansville.
Pit stop's over. Back on the road.