Blog Entry

Your Butler coaching mad-lib

Posted on: April 2, 2010 3:15 pm
Edited on: April 2, 2010 3:23 pm
Thomas Beisner

Congratulations, Butler fans.  I'm sure you've heard it a million times, but it doesn't get old, does it?  It's a fine time to be a Bulldog and you should be enjoying every second of it.  You're back in your hometown, soaking up the Final Four glory and all the Hoosier references and Dick Vitale impression contests that it comes with.  This is as good as it's ever been to be a Bulldog, which probably has you worried about one thing. 

It's really going to suck when the party ends this weekend, huh?

Well, maybe not.  You see, your trajectory into America's hearts and the elite of college basketball has paired with your Horizon League standing and given you a unique opportunity.  As larger schools approach Brad Stevens for their head coaching job this off-season, your increased program stature means the mix is right to finally create the perfect message board rumor.  At larger schools such as Kentucky or Indiana, where coaching changes have occurred recently, message board rumors have settled in permanently as a part of the fan experience.  At Butler, you might just be getting your first great opportunity.  And, it's an opportunity you don't want to waste.

So, with that in mind, your buddies here at "One Blogging Moment" have put together a coaching mad-lib to help you come up with the perfect Brad Stevens coaching rumor.  Grab a pencil, put on your thinking cap and get cracking.  It's time to hit the message boards hard!


Oh my (Deity)!! Did you hear? It's a done deal. (Favorite coach) is replacing (favorite Brad Stevens nickname) and it's going to be announced (date). I talked to my (nuclear family member)'s (job title)'s cousin, who really knows what is going on. He once (past tense verb) with (favorite prominent Butler figure)'s brother when they were both at (noun). He was the guy who was right about (Butler recruiting fact).

I know all of this is (adjective) too because I heard it from more than one person.  A guy that I used to (verb) with every Tuesday morning overheard a lady who looked like (current Butler player)'s mom in the line at (restaurant at Castleton Square Mall) say that Stevens is heading to (place) to (verb) the team there.  You can't (verb) with that.

Basically, what happened is that (school with open basketball job) approached (internet celebrity) to help recruit Coach Stevens.  Unfortunately for Butler, (internet celebrity), who is a closet (school with open job) fan,  has known Coach for (number) years and has remained close with him since they both attended (event) in (random city).  Using that as leverege, (internet celebrity) approached Coach Stevens when he was (adverb)  just minutes after Butler got (past tense verb) by (Horizon League opponent). They offered him (dollar amount) in addition to (form of transportation), (favorite dessert) and a free membership to (website).

Though the chances of Butler matching were about as likely as a (plural animal) (adverb) out of (body part), Coach Stevens met with Barry Collier and gave him a chance to (verb) the deal.  Collier had a private meeting with boosters, (current Butler player) and Tony Dungy to discuss.  It was a (adjective) exchange because the boosters wanted (coaching figure) and Tony Dungy was lobbying hard for (recovering NFL player). But, in the end, (current Butler player) took the floor and used his (noun) to help everyone see that (new coach) was the one to take Butler to (overused synonym for success).

Before you (verb) out and lose your (body part), you have to understand what a (fictional monster) Stevens was to his players and in the community.  This same person stold me that (favorite Stevens nickname) had a number of run-ins including telling Gordon to go (verb) a (mammal) and making Shelvin Mack do (workout) for an hour while listening to (TLC song) and wearing (article of clothing). I even heard, but I can't confirm it, that (Stevens nickname) even went as far as to (present tense verb) on the bar top of (Indianapolis establishment) at halftime of the (Final Four opponent) game and then (past tense verb) all the way out the front door toward campus.  If he would not have been found by (person with Indiana ties) laying outside of Holcomb Gardens, he might have never made it home. Just think about how (national media member) would have made fun of us then!!!

Anyway, today is a (adjective) day for Butler athletics. With (new coach) taking charge, we are pretty much a lock for (crazy expectations) - especially after he brings (point guard recruit) with him. I heard he has been begging for the job for (length of time) and got on a (mode of transportation) the second Barry Collier called him to travel to Indianapolis. My source even said he even hired (Indiana basketball figure) as an assistant and has demanded to stand at the top of the cheerleader pyramid at every game. (new coach) is going to be (adjective) and I couldn't be more (adjective) about it.

You can (verb) me all you want, but you'll be (adjective) when I am right about this. (media member) knows what I am talking about but is too (adjective) to report it yet.

Category: NCAAB
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