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Blog Entry

Who will replace Hank Williams on Monday Night?

Posted on: October 6, 2011 1:10 pm
Edited on: October 6, 2011 2:07 pm
 
Posted by Will Brinson

Who will replace Hank Williams Jr. on Monday Night Football now that he's gotten the boot by ESPN? That is the eternal question that will probably be answered in the next day or so (or not), and asking these questions is why the bosses pay me the big bucks*.

Or something. Anyway, let's roll through some possible suggestions for new MNF opening acts.

10. Tripping Icarus

What? You haven't heard of them? DO YOU EVEN LIKE FOOTBALL? Of course you do. I was just kidding. But if you love football, you should know this band, since they're fronted by Minnesota Vikings punter -- and friend of the podcast! -- Chris Kluwe.

Having this happen is a longer shot than Kluwe's team winning the Super Bowl (sorry, Chris), but it would still be awesome. Plus, they have a tune that's got a killer intro in Misery though the lyrics might need to be tweaked. And the title. Unless the league keeps scheduling the Dolphins for prime time anyway. Then it's pretty apt.

Oh, and they have at least one "celebrity endorser."



9. Black Eyed Peas
I dunno, it just seems like any time there's a convergence of "we need a band" and "what bands are still cool" and "we need a band quickly," executives at broadcasting companies are totally willing to jump all over Fergie and Co.

They have that stupid altered-lyric version of "Let's Get It Started," and we're all already numb to it thanks to the NBA playoffs a few years ago. Don't forget that they also owe football fans for their miserable performance at the Super Bowl in Dallas, so maybe they'll do it on the cheap.



8. Hank Williams, III

Perhaps Hank's a bit ... close to the situation, being Hank Jr.'s son and all, but he's already come out and said that his dad is kind of a goofball for "mixing political views and music." That means he'll be a guy who won't cause a stir with any Godwin's Law screwups.

Does anyone care about his music? Well, I can't speak to that, because I don't know what he sings. But I do know there's like a 75 percent-plus chance that he could call his dad up, swing by the studio with a fifth of Jack Daniels, and "talk him into" signing over the rights for "Are you ready for some football?"

He could probably score a sweet camo Alabama hat out of it too, and then ESPN could keep carrying on like 1989 never became irrelevant.



7. The Who
Are they too old to play the MNF theme? Perhaps, yes. But they did recently play the Super Bowl and while they were fairly panned, they did an acoustic jam session at their press conference that pretty much made my life.

But Roger Daltry's been cruising around doing spots on Sirius, and I'm sure they have some remastered album coming out soon. They always do.

And have you seen the Monday Night Football schedule for the rest of the year? "Who Are You?" would be a perfect theme.



6. Dixie Chicks
Hahaha. OK, OK, so this a horrible idea. (Mrs. Brinson made me do it; she knows how much I love ... er, she loves "Sin Wagon.")

But we should at least try and provide equal political party representation for people who ruin their careers based on stupid statements about the President, right?



5. Phoenix

Yes, I know they're French. Don't be a jerk about it. They're still sick nasty (and were once the theme of "The [Blank] Jones," which gives them tons of street cred with the kids!) and really energetic.

Plus, if Roger Goodell has his way, every single NFL game will be played in a foreign country by the time ESPN's MNF contract expires, so we might as well export the music too.



4. Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.
The best band you don't know about -- the Juniors -- don't really fit the profile of a band that would play Monday Night Football, mainly because they're "not mainstream enough" for a suit to agree to, and because they don't necessarily have the "same sound that your dad likes." Or whatever Carles would say.

But (and full disclosure -- they are also friends of the podcast!) I think they represent one pretty cool idea that MNF could take with the musical direction. Why not have a local, albeit famous-enough, band perform a song that's related to the city where the game is being played? Like "We Almost Lost Detroit" -- embedded below -- which is not only fantastic but totally true about MNF and the Lions, who haven't been the home team on a Monday since 2001.

Travel around the country and have different intros with an up-and-coming band from that area. They'd do it for free and it would be way better than listening to one lame act sing every week for the next 20 years.



3. Jack White
The White Stripes are broken up and I think he's abandoned the Raconteurs to go do his own label thing, but would anyone be more perfect for this gig than Jack White?

The dude rocks hard, he's got respect from people in every single genre of music, and he dresses weird but is cool enough to pull it off. Mrs. Brinson and I were playing Rock Band the other night (she's a killer bassist) and she heard the Raconteurs for the first time and loved them right off the bat.

"Ball and a Biscuit" is all up on a commercials these days, and I'd listen to that song for the next 30 years in a row non-stop if it meant nothing ridiculous like ESPN hiring Jimmy Buffett. But just to prove that White can provide something more commercially viable for the cranky football-watching adults in your family, here's "Many Shades of Black."




2. Drive-by-Truckers
This would be freaking AWESOME. (Or perhaps you prefer awesome-sauce?) And, if the WWL wants to keep moving in a similar direction as Bocephus, these guys rock out hard in a country-but-not-quite-alt-country way.

"Three Dimes Down" is one of my favorite songs ever and while it's not necessarily the song that would fit for the intro, it a) shows they've got the sound and b) isn't totally obscene like "This F*****g Job."

Come to think of it, forget they wrote that, ESPN.



1. Wilco

Hey, dad, do you know what you like these days? And no, I'm not speaking to my dad. I'm speaking to you, Mr. 30-plus-year-old, key-demographic, football-watching, how-did-I-already-become a father of two who's reading this post.

You like Wilco don't you? Yeah, that's what I thought. In fact, you probably love Wilco enough -- for the record, as do I  -- that you didn't even think their decision to do the background tunes for the recent Volkswagon campaign constituted "selling out."

You probably embrace their "Dad Rock" style and, well, that's cool. We are the generation of fathers and soon-to-be fathers who will be watching MNF to escape family time over the next eight years and more. The least ESPN could do is cater to us.

Bonus: Wilco already has a song named "Monday" that's fast-paced and fun to listen to!



*The small bucks, natch
Comments

Since: Jul 13, 2011
Posted on: October 7, 2011 12:41 pm
 

Who will replace Hank Williams on Monday Night?

One other thing that i would like to share is that Freedom of speech is still alive but what people fail to realize is that with the Freedom to speak "There are always consequences of what you say especially if you are speaking to the media and you are someone famous, so with that being said people need to remember that with the Freedom to speak comes the CONSEQUENCES OF SPEECH"......You cannot say anything that you want anymore unless you do not value your job as MANY are finding out in the Present day World! Just an opinion of a person who doesen't count for much except to a very chosen few!.............



Since: Jul 13, 2011
Posted on: October 7, 2011 12:24 pm
 

Who will replace Hank Williams on Monday Night?

This is a NO BRAINER, the guys that do the intro for COLLEGE GAMEDAY every Saturday morning are the ONLY real clear choice to come up with a new rift that will CERTAINLY BE BETTER THAN THAT OFF KEY CRAP that Hank Williams Jr. has been shouting at ALL WHO CHOOSE TO LISTEN with his VERY TERRIBLE VOICE! Of coarse except for all others that do what i do and mute the tv EVERY MONDAY NIGHT JUST BEFORE KICKOFF because since day one i just have not been able to stomach it!!!...................................

"CAUSE WE'RE COMIN TO YOUR CITY, IF YA WANNA LITTLE ZING IN YOUR YING YANG, READY-SET-HUT"...............These guys are BIG with ESPN AND "IT ROCKS WITH THE FANS AND GETS US JACKED UP FOR SOME FOOTBALL" and in my opinion this would be the ONLY WAY TO GO, HOPE SOMEONE HEARS ME AND IT HAPPENS!!! You heard it here first!!!!.........................M. Stuart...DEATH VALLEY, LOUISIANA.... Home of the FIGHTING TIGERS OF LSU................................

...........



Since: Jul 8, 2007
Posted on: October 7, 2011 11:22 am
 

Who will replace Hank Williams on Monday Night?

HWj wasn't censored, or suppressed. He was aired live; drunk as a skunk and made political statements on a network (ESPN) owned by a company (Disney) that prefers not to alienate any part of the electorate (no need to have half the country boycott Walt Disney World, et al). Hank is entitled to his opinions, has plenty of platforms to air them but no one is required to subsidize them or promote those beliefs. It's a free country and his employers have a right to term him for embarrassing them (and himself).

Clearly, you have a limited idea of what the First Amendment actually protects, and a narrow view of current events and politics.

http://www.metafilter.com/10983/Col

umnists-Fired-After-Criticizing-Bus

h

http://www.contactmusic.com/news-ar

ticle/stern.-i-was-fired-for-critic

izing-bush

http://www.axisoflogic.com/artman/p

ublish/printer_13734.shtml (not even an American! And in their own country!)



Since: Aug 30, 2006
Posted on: October 7, 2011 10:50 am
 

Who will replace Hank Williams on Monday Night?

I better not say. The Opinion Police here at CBS Sports will block me, just as Hank Williams Jr. and his opinion were censored and surpressed at ABC/ESPN.


Oh, what the heck. How about David Bowie sing the theme from The Falcon and The Snowman, This is Not America. Since, obviously, we're living somewhere else.


How many people got fired from their jobs/singing/acting gigs when they were calling G.W. Bush names like Hitler? Oh, that's right. Zero.


That equal treatment things going real good for us, isn't it.


BTW, I don't even like Hank Williams Jr., but, I know when someone gets screwed for speaking their opinion.



Since: Aug 25, 2007
Posted on: October 7, 2011 10:48 am
 

Who will replace Hank Williams on Monday Night?

You do realize that nobody really cares, right?



Since: May 7, 2011
Posted on: October 7, 2011 7:39 am
 

Who will replace Hank Williams on Monday Night?

How about Robert Randolph and The Family's song called "The Thrill of It!"? They used this song on some of the College Football games that were shown on ABC/ESPN.CoolSmileCool




Since: Oct 1, 2006
Posted on: October 7, 2011 3:02 am
 

Who will replace Hank Williams on Monday Night?

Nobody will replace Hank Jr on MNF. He wont be hurting for money, though. And should take his 'Are You Ready For Some Football?' act to NBC Sunday Night Football where the core of th MNF crew ran to after ABC/ESPN/Disney squashed the golden egg.

Maybe Disney's 'four letter' network can audition the likes of: Hank Williams Sr, Johnny Cash, Buck Owens, Waylon Jennings or Roger Miller. Wait a minute .. Their all dead.

Would't make any difference, though. MNF is heading there, too.



Since: Sep 15, 2010
Posted on: October 7, 2011 1:44 am
 

Who will replace Hank Williams on Monday Night?

How about if we had a "battle of the bands" intro featuring one band/performer from each city/region representing the two teams playing that night. Fans could pick from available regional performers the week before the game snf then fans could vote for their favorite during the first half with results and links to find out more about the performers (i.e. buy their music).

The highest rated performer at the end of the regular season gets to play the halftime show at the Superbowl. 



Since: Oct 6, 2011
Posted on: October 6, 2011 11:45 pm
 

Who will replace Hank Williams on Monday Night?

SINCE WE LISTENED TO THE REDNECK VERSION FOR TWO DECADES HOW ABOUT SOME HIP-HOP?! SOMEONE LIKE, ICECUBE OR SNOOP DOGG HELL  EVEN EMINEM!!! THREE OF THE TOP CREATIVE RAPPERS OUT THERE THATS ALSO MAINSTREAM, U GOT CUBE DOING COORS LIGHT ADS AND U MEAN TO TELL ME HE CAN'T COME UP WITH A CATCHY HOOK FOR MNF?!!? CMON ESPN THIS IS AN EASY ONE!!!



Since: Jul 27, 2008
Posted on: October 6, 2011 5:34 pm
 

Who will replace Hank Williams on Monday Night?

Gene Simmons!  Tongue out


The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com