Blog Entry

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

Posted on: October 22, 2010 9:43 am
Sasha Vujacic gets engaged to Maria Sharapova, pulls world one-step closer to end of existence. Posted by Matt Moore

Internet, can we talk? Man-to-Information-Super-Highway? Here, sit down. I get that from time to time, you become pre-occupied with inane content of this world. Celebrity divorces. Balloon boys. Ke$ha. And that's cool! I like sports! And sports doesn't mean anything in this world, despite its quite considerable impact on our economy and way of life in this country. It's still just a meaningless distraction and in fact doesn't actually impact anything, not to mention the fact that most important events are replaced by new ones within a few months. I'm not here to judge.


Sasha Vujacic is the No.1 trending topic on Google this morning. Maria Sharapova is No.3. All because they got engaged last night . That's how much power this story has. They're not even married. Just engaged.

Internet, what do you have to say for yourself? Honestly. It's not just that Vujacic isn't important, it's that he's massively irrelevant. The list of wing backup players that could do his job and do it better is long enough for me to write in Times New Roman single-spaced and still have a line break. His biggest talent is picking up meaningless, harmful fouls due to his penchant for attempting a full-court press in the NBA against top-flight point guards, then being shocked when they make him look like a chump. That's his calling card. Well, that and being"The Machine ."

Sharapova is actually the more relevant of the two of them, and she's ranked 18th in the world . So someone in sports who is not even top ten at the moment is the third most popular Google topic because she got engaged to someone who is somehow even more irrelevant in his profession. You made this happen, Internet. You. That's right, push away from the keyboard. Maybe go for a walk. Take some photos. Sing a song. I recommend "All-Star" by Smashmouth .

Whatever you do, do not use search engines. Because you have shown you cannot handle the responsibility. This isn't "Baby Birdman ." But it's close, world. I'm two seconds away from moving to a cabin in Colorado, stocking up on guns and canned food and forgetting you completely.

What? What do you mean this post was only written to cash in on that SEO power? What do you think I am, unscrupulous?

Okay, don't answer that.

Since: Apr 9, 2010
Posted on: October 24, 2010 6:08 am

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

I'm like everyone else who didn't even know they knew each other. Good for them though. This whole rant by Matt Moore is pointless.

Since: Sep 20, 2007
Posted on: October 22, 2010 6:24 pm

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

If you're like me, today was the first time you even heard that these two knew each other, much less got engaged...and if you googled it, I assume it's because you  couldn't actually believe that she is with that stringy-haired euro soccer flopper posing as an NBA player.  I'm honestly not at all surprised millions of people needed multiple trustworthy sources on this one.

Since: Sep 5, 2006
Posted on: October 22, 2010 6:11 pm

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

Anyone that gives himself a nickname is automatically a douchebag, especially The Machine. Wasn't that the guy from 8MM?

Since: Jul 25, 2007
Posted on: October 22, 2010 6:05 pm

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

She was actually immeniently doable long before then, she just came to the attention of the world at large at 17.

Since: Aug 21, 2006
Posted on: October 22, 2010 5:31 pm

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

More proof that playing in the NBA is a huge advantage in life!

Seriously, congrats to both of them.

Since: Sep 30, 2008
Posted on: October 22, 2010 5:18 pm

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

Well, I'm  a Lakers fan and I say.....Way to go Sasha!!

So what if he's playing off the Lakers bench? How many of us wish we could have that job? I don't blame him or her one bit. The haters are jealous because Maria probably wouldn't pay them any mind. At least it's a different celebrity couple story other than Brad and Angelina for a change.

Since: Aug 29, 2008
Posted on: October 22, 2010 4:04 pm

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

What's funny is that Matt More just used the unwaranted hype to draw attention to a meaningless argument.  Its what the internet is good for, generating trafic for useless information.  Most of us are used to it.

Since: Oct 22, 2010
Posted on: October 22, 2010 2:46 pm

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

I don't know what's worst, this or Adriana Lima being knocked up by Marko Jaric.

Since: Jul 16, 2008
Posted on: October 22, 2010 2:38 pm

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

Right on. This is news because Maria Sharapova is wanted by 80% of males in both Hemispheres. I am beyond ticked she is engaged to some joker named Sasha. That isn't right. 
I mean, a big time hockey player like Ovechkin, I could stomach, but a 3 pointer off the bench guy with the Lakers. Come on!
This is a pox upon humanity! (Not really, I'm just hamming it up for effect.)

Since: Dec 24, 2007
Posted on: October 22, 2010 1:53 pm

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

It's news because the vast majority of males in the Western Hemisphere have considered Maria imminently doable since she was 17. 

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