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Eddy Curry, unemployed and hopeful for Heat

Posted on: March 2, 2011 4:00 pm
 
Eddy Curry's a free agent and he thinks he can help the Heat. No, this is not a joke. 
Posted by Matt Moore

Well, it took over a half decade and nearly $50 million but the Knicks are free of Eddy Curry, and Curry has a chance to start over. Maybe. I mean, it's technically a chance. And he's feeling pretty good about it. After being traded from New York to Minnesota, the Timberwolves bought out Curry this week and as a result, he's eligible to join another team, even one looking for an additional big man for the playoffs. 

Yeah, you know where this is going. 

Curry reportedly is telling those close to him that he expects to sign with the Miami Heat. I'm going to give you a minute to let that sink in. 

Now, the Heat need someone like the Theoretical Curry. 7-feet tall, huge, and we mean huge frame, some mobility, and a veteran. Erick Dampier is doing okay, but they could use some depth in case he gets injured, and Zydrunas Ilgauskas gets injured, and Joel Anthony gets injured, all at the same time, in some sort of freakish dougnut accident. So theoretically, it's a fine move. Unfortunately, when put in practice it becomes absolutely bizarre beyond all reasonable comprehension. Curry was diagnosed with a heart condition, is constantly overweight, and... can't play. He just can't play. And there's not a whole lot of reason for the Heat to sign someone who can't play, when they already have Jamaal Magloire who shouldn't play, but can play.

If the Heat do end up signing Curry for the playoff run, the avalanche of jokes may break the internet. 

But before we get too far down the mockery road here, there's something to keep in mind about Curry's experiences over the past several years. From Knicks blog, Knickerblogger: 

On January 25, 2009, Eddy Curry’s ex-girlfriend and baby daughter were found murdered in a Chicago apartment. Curry was granted a leave of absence from the team, disappeared for a couple of weeks, never really spoke publicly about what had happened. During what must have been the darkest moments of Eddy Curry’s life, we never saw him suffer, never witnessed the pain that surely consumed him. Unsympathetic as we were throughout his struggles on the court, why should he have trusted us with a piece of him that was so much more important? What had we done to earn that?

via Goodbye-ee Part 2: Moz and Curry | KnickerBlogger.Net.

It's so far beyond reasonable odds that it's barely even worth mentioning, but if Curry were to achieve any level of comeback, how amazing would that be?

Comments

Since: Jan 8, 2007
Posted on: March 3, 2011 5:27 pm
 

Eddy Curry, unemployed and hopeful for Heat

The two funniest parts of this sad commentary;

#2 - The following exchange famously took place between a Bulls beat writer and then-coach Scott Skiles:

Reporter: What can Eddy Curry do to improve his rebounding?
Skiles: Jump.

It's an old joke, but it's completely true. And it tells you just about all you need to know about Eddy as a basketball player. -AES
and...

If the Heat do end up signing Curry for the playoff run, the avalanche of jokes may break the internet. 


BREAK THE INTERNET!!!  Ahahahahahaha...that-is-awesome.

Break the internet.  Mind if I use that?

If Curry gets a contract, I'm digging my Larry Bird short-shorts out of the closet and lacing up my All-Stars to go try out for the C's.  Some guys just don't know when to walk away.  Hopefully, he was smart enough to squirrel away some of that money so we don't see him matched up with Antoine Walker and MC Hammer in another year...



Since: Aug 24, 2006
Posted on: March 2, 2011 8:05 pm
 

Eddy Curry, unemployed and hopeful for Heat

 

Eddy Curry is another reason for NOT giving out guaranteed contracts. I remember when he was a free agent and all of the teams were courting him. Atlanta wined and dined him to no avail, he signed somewhere else. Curry could have been a pretty good player, but never a superstar. He plays at the most sought after position in basketball, the center position, which made him such a hot commodity. After signing the huge contract, he lost his competitive spirit and the enjoyment for playing the game, a very large problem in pro sports. In the real world, we would be fired and replaced very quickly if we performed in the same manner as Curry did. Guaranteed contracts, with no motivation to make an athlete perform, is unfair to the players, teams, and the fans. When committing so much money on a single player turns out to be a mistake, all three suffer. Making pro sports more of a challenge for the players, will make things better for all involved. Time for a change.




Since: Aug 18, 2006
Posted on: March 2, 2011 6:12 pm
 

Eddy Curry, unemployed and hopeful for Heat

AES, I also remember, after a game in which Curry saw his minutes drastically cut, a member of the press asking Skiles what Curry could do to get more minutes.  Skiles replied, "try harder, more often."

He didn't exactly sugarcoat it, did he? 



Since: Nov 7, 2008
Posted on: March 2, 2011 5:48 pm
 

Eddy Curry, unemployed and hopeful for Heat

After reading about the joke that is the Cubs 2011 season, this was a much needed laugh.  I would imagine that the entire Heat team is also laughing it's collective butts off about this joke of a player even thinking he is remotely worth of playing for their D-League team, let alone actually getting to play in the NBA. 

And what does the incident with his ex girlfriend and child have to do with him being delusional enough to think any NBA team wants him?  It was truely horrible and all, but on the court he was horrible before the tragedy and just as bad after, so why mention it?




Since: Sep 5, 2006
Posted on: March 2, 2011 5:41 pm
 

Eddy Curry, unemployed and hopeful for Heat

And you might want to update the whole "LeBron2NYC" thing, unless you're holding out for 2016.



Since: Sep 5, 2006
Posted on: March 2, 2011 5:41 pm
 

Eddy Curry, unemployed and hopeful for Heat

Um, no he doesn't. He lost any eligibility when he hired an agent and declared for the draft.



Since: Aug 16, 2009
Posted on: March 2, 2011 5:25 pm
 

Eddy Curry, unemployed and hopeful for Heat

Eddie Curry still has collegiate eligibility, he should go back to the well and try to get a free ride to play at Florida International and get an education so that maybe he can make something of the remainder of his life



Since: Sep 5, 2006
Posted on: March 2, 2011 5:12 pm
 

Eddy Curry, unemployed and hopeful for Heat

The following exchange famously took place between a Bulls beat writer and then-coach Scott Skiles:

Reporter: What can Eddy Curry do to improve his rebounding?
Skiles: Jump.

It's an old joke, but it's completely true. And it tells you just about all you need to know about Eddy as a basketball player.


The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com