Blog Entry

Third time isn't the charm for Updyke

Posted on: February 22, 2011 4:36 pm
Posted by Tom Fornelli

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Earlier on Tuesday afternoon I wrote about Jerry Hauser. Hauser was the second lawyer in a matter of days who had been assigned to defend Harvey Updyke against the mischief charges he faces for poisoning the trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner to ask off the case. Now, merely a few hours later, Updyke has been assigned a third lawyer.

A third lawyer who has already asked off the case.
Jerry M. Blevins, who was assigned the case Tuesday morning, filed a motion Tuesday afternoon asking to be removed from the case. He's the third defense attorney to ask to be removed.
Blevins also asked the District Court in Lee County to delay a March 2 preliminary hearing that was assigned by the court Tuesday.
Blevins, in court papers, said he asked to be removed because an "irreconcilable conflict arose" between he and Updyke.
What was the irreconcilable conflict? It doesn't say, but given the recent history here, I'm guessing Blevins' cousin knows a guy who once dated a girl who saw an Auburn football game on television, and the wound from that failed relationship is just too fresh for Blevins to handle this case.

Seriously, at this point, I'll be Updyke's lawyer. I have never studied law, and I've never even seen a scene from Law and Order, but I do know enough that being charged with first degree mischief* isn't exactly a jailable offense. I'd just stand in front of the jury, say my client already admitted he committed the crime on a radio station, and tell them to give him community service and probation.

There.  Problem solved, case over, and we all move on with our lives.

*By the way, imagine if you did go to prison for mischief. You're sitting in your cell with your new bunkmate, an arsonist who killed an entire family in a fire he started, and he asks you what you did to get in there. "Mischief." I bet the rest of the prisoners would be terrified of you!

Since: Jun 22, 2008
Posted on: February 22, 2011 7:02 pm

At least it

Since: Jan 20, 2008
Posted on: February 22, 2011 6:57 pm

Third time isn't the charm for Updyke

My guess: the lawyers are leaving because either:
1) He's trying to say it was somehow justified, or
2) The police have absolute proof he did it, and he's still denying it, or
3) He's saying, "Sure, I did it, but I'll lie on the stand and say I didn't." Can't suborn perjury.
Any of these cases, he's screwed.

Lesson of the Day: Don't go around poisoning trees that aren't on your property, moron.

Since: Oct 10, 2008
Posted on: February 22, 2011 6:43 pm

Third time isn't the charm for Updyke

War Damn Toomers? Gotta be the most stupid thing I've heard in a long time.

Since: Apr 28, 2009
Posted on: February 22, 2011 6:24 pm

Third time isn't the charm for Updyke

Guantanamo Bay sounds like a nice place for Harvey.  He would get along nicely with the others held there. Sealed

Since: Dec 10, 2010
Posted on: February 22, 2011 4:56 pm

Third time isn't the charm for Updyke

Per the Alabama code, "first degree criminal mischief" is a Class C felony.  The standard sentence for a Class C felony is a minimum of one year plus one day and a maximum of 10 years.  If they tack on other charges, such as destruction of a historical landmark or protected species, or damage to the environment, or misuse of a controlled substance (the herbicide required a special permit to own), the scumbag will serve some time, as he should.  No probation or community service here.

Lawyer #4 has allegedly been appointed and will be on the Paul Finescum program this afternoon.

War Damn Toomers.

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