Clemson five-star running back recruit Mike Bellamy caused quite the Internet stir last week with a series of photos posted to his Facebook account that showed Bellamy with what appeared to be thousands of dollars in $100 bills. Though Bellamy and his high school officials claimed the photos were a joke, Clemson compliance personnel were--understandably--less than amused, and the photos were quickly removed from the account.
What's a shame here is that the "young athlete poses for Facebook photos with huge stacks of cash, which then get circulated to every corner of the Internet, forcing apology/explanation" thing has been done so many times by now, it's ripe for parody. If Bellamy really was trying to make a joke, he was at least in the right vein of humor ... he just botched the execution.
So we're going to make a series of suggestions for Bellamy's next attempt, to help him or any other athlete who'd like to get in on the ground floor of successful pose-with-lots-of-cash joke-making:
- Pose with dozens of bills ... and all of them 1's. A t-shirt with the phrase "It's all about the Washingtons" would help.
- Instead of acquiring the actual money needed and taking actual pictures, simply draw the photos in MS Paint. We've adopted this tactic more than once around here ourselves, and we've always been (entirely too) happy with the results.
- Acquire and pose with a large stack of bills from a foreign currency where those bills don't amount to much in U.S. dollars. A caption like "Went to Mexico!!! Struck it rich!!" on a photo with dozens of 20-peso notes (U.S. value: around $1.60 each) -- and a sombrero! -- would be comedy gold.
- Pose with bills from a popular money-acquisition board game. But not the one you're thinking of, just to keep the Internet on its toes. (Plus, there's some kind of killer "Payday!" joke to make in the caption, we're sure of it.)
- Take photo with one bill, then Photoshop the bill back into the photo over and over again in an intentionally obvious, sloppy fashion. When called on photo's inauthenticity by Internet commenters, claim you have no idea what they're talking about and that the photos is 100 percent genuine.
In bright orange $500's.
*Offer so not valid.