Posted by Adam Jacobi
By all accounts, the most lopsided matchup in the Big Ten on Saturday was Michigan's 58-0 crushing of Minnesota. Second place: Wisconsin beating Nebraska by 31 points. And with the bronze medal, we have the story of Nebraska DT Chase Rome, who did an admirable job of exerting his dominance and imposing his will on a most worthy opponent: a paper towel dispenser at the Madison airport, hours after the Cornhuskers lost to the Badgers.
Unfortunately, we don't have video of the 6'3", 295-pound Rome beating the metaphorical snot out of an inanimate object, but we do have the next best thing: a police record, since the incident landed Rome a ticket from the Dane County sheriffs:
Rome, 19, was cited by Dane County deputies for criminal damage to property after he allegedly ripped a paper towel dispenser from the wall of a bathroom at the Dane County Regional Airport.
Dane County Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Elise Schaffer told madison.com the incident happened very early Sunday morning when the Huskers went to the airport to return to Lincoln.
On the "What A Big Man You Are" scale, where 1 is giving somebody a sympathetic hug and 10 is leaving anonymous comments on the Internet threatening to beat up anybody who disagrees with you, Rome's assault on the doomed towel dispenser is at least an 8.5. If he yelled insults at the dispenser at any point in the process, though, we're creeping up into the 9 range.
There's been no mention of disciplinary action against Rome that's gone through Nebraska's RapidReports feed as yet, and that's probably fine; as crimes go, Rome's is awfully minor, and the exact type of situation that would merit extra conditioning drills for a considerable amount of time (as long as it's the player's first offense against team rules or the law, anyway). We don't want to see football players thinking it's okay to vandalize bathrooms -- or really anything, for that matter -- but we also don't want to see the hammer dropped on players for the type of insignificant, impulsive behavior that has typified young men their age for time immemorial.