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Blog Entry

What would you do? I'm not sure

Posted on: February 16, 2008 3:48 pm

My 10-year-old niece, Marisa, plays soccer in a girl's league that takes place in Boca Raton, Fla. Her team advanced into the playoffs, but was eliminated following a loss on Saturday in sudden-death overtime. Marisa was the goalie who allowed the winning score to pass through the net. I don't need to tell you that she broke down in tears and was heartbroken following the game. I felt really bad for her and her teammates.

After the game, I was encouraged by family and friends to cheer Marisa up and give her an uplifting talk, but I truly don't know how to act or what to say to someone after a game ends like that one did. The first thing that came to mind is that my niece needed to experience a loss like that, remember how bad it felt, and then use it as motivation to improve and never let it happen again.

But, there's nothing that can be said in the short term to make someone feel better about a loss outside of allowing time to pass. I remember when I was a little kid, I can recall with vivid detail the losses that stung a little bit more than others. I can say that there wasn't anything anyone could say or do that would cheer me up or make me feel better. Being consoled just made me angrier and it always seemed so contrived and annoyingly condescending. It would typically take a day or two for me to recover and it was something I had to always work out on my own accord and timeframe. 

I'm curious to hear how others would have responded in a situation like that.

Category: General
Tags: Soccer

Since: Jan 17, 2008
Posted on: February 16, 2008 11:24 pm

What would you do? I'm not sure

Well I remember when I was younger that whenever I let something bad happen to my team and it was my fault, I got mad(sometimes start to cry) but no matter what anyone said, nothing helped. I would just replay that moment over and over again.

If I were you, and she keeps talking about it or seems very sad a lot of the time, do something fun with her or somehow get her mind off of it and it should go away for at least a few days if not longer.

Since: Dec 21, 2006
Posted on: February 16, 2008 9:02 pm

What would you do? I'm not sure

Hey, this one is from a kids points of view (Im an underclassmen in High School). What you should do is let her get over it. I remember in Y-ball, I was the only star on my team. The other teams were loaded and we just got what was left over. I remember when I would cry right after games and parents would come over and console because they knew I was the only one who gave a damn on my team. What you should do is give it time. Give it a week or so, see what happens. If she is still moping around, ask her if she wants to talk. If she says no, then stop talking about it.

Give it time, she will get over it. They need to start learning how to get over things........I wish I did.......

good luck.

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: February 16, 2008 6:19 pm

What would you do? I'm not sure

That's a tough one.  I guess the best thing is to ask her if she wants to talk about it and how she feels.  Go off of her cues.  They do bounce back quickly.  Now if she's talking about quiting, I'd say perhaps chatting with her and reminding her about all the times that she stopped the ball that allowed her team to get to the playoffs would probably work.  (Did that make sense?)

Good luck.

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