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Blog Entry

What would you do? I'm not sure (Part II)

Posted on: February 18, 2008 10:32 am
Edited on: February 18, 2008 10:49 am

I appreciate the comments from those who have responded to my question. I would like to add a postscript to the events that took place after the game on Saturday.

First, my niece is doing fine. Kids are pretty resilient and I think she was able to cope with the loss a lot better than I would have, and for that I applaud her.

Second, I noticed after the game that the coach from the opposing team approached my niece. I wasn't close enough to hear what he was saying to her, but it appeared to me that he was offering some nice words of encouragement. However, as I learned the next day, he was very unhappy with my niece because she elbowed his daughter in the closing seconds of the game. The coach took the opportunity to not offer words of encouragement, but instead to scold my niece, who was already feeling pretty bad about the loss. Suffice to say, his words didn't help Marisa's emotional disposition and they shook her up even more.

In getting Marisa's side of the story, the young girl apparently shoved my niece, who responded with the elbow. Now, this all probably seems funny and childish as you're reading it, I'm sure. I don't deny that my niece elbowed the girl. If Marisa takes after my side of the family, we've got fiery German blood coursing through our veins and we are very competitive.

However, what this coach on the other team failed to see was his daughter's original push. He only witnessed the back end of the play, which was my niece's elbow. But what this coach failed to understand is that things are going to happen in the heat of battle and, in my opinion, you let them slide off your back with that knowledge.

For him to single out my niece I think was wrong. If I would have heard what he was saying to Marisa, I don't think I could have been held accountable for the things I probably would have said and done in defense of my niece. Well, maybe I would have. LOL. Anyway, I would love to get your opinion as to whether this guy was in the right to approach my niece? Or, do you feel my niece was wrong to defend herself by throwing the elbow.

Category: General
Tags: Soccer

Since: Feb 15, 2008
Posted on: February 18, 2008 8:14 pm

What would you do? I'm not sure (Part II)

It's tough to say without knowing what was said. If he was simply explaining to her that even though she was frustrated it's never ok to throw a malicious elbow then it would be hard to be too upset. If he was letting her have it because his daughter was involved then he was way out of line. Adults should never take out their frustrations on their own kids, not to mention someone elses. If he had a problem with another kid he should go to that kids parents to have the issue addressed. But if he was doing it in a nice way to be constructive and helpful to your niece I would probably be ok with that. (Doesn't sound like he was though)

Since: Aug 19, 2006
Posted on: February 18, 2008 3:24 pm

What would you do? I'm not sure (Part II)

I can understand where that coach is coming from. I would be extremely mad too if I seen somebody on the opposing team elbow one of my kids for what I thought was no reason. He was definitely wrong because it was a retaliative move and he didn't see the first part of it but I can see where he was coming from. Even still if I was that coach I would've tried to talk to the parents of your niece or the opposing team coach, there's no reason to scold a child like that

However your niece should understand that the elbow was wrong, still these things are a part of sports and should be dismissed as just that. Hopefully the coach realizes the girl on his team started it (if your niece is telling the truth) and has a talk with her like he did with your niece

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: February 18, 2008 11:02 am

What would you do? I'm not sure (Part II)

Was the coach right, oh heck no....if he had a problem with what a player on the opposite team did, he needs to bring it up with their coach.  If he, as a parent has a problem, he needed to go to her parents.  Had it been my daughter, he and I would have had a long talk (and I don't intimidate easily).

Was your niece wrong?  Nah, it happens.  When my daughter was 4, there was a neighborhood boy her age would go around biting all the girls.  First time the boy bit her, she bit him back, the boy never bit her again. 

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or