Blog Entry

Adam Dunn Retires From Competitive Baseball

Posted on: February 14, 2009 11:03 am

With the flashbulbs popping, and tears running down his face, Adam Dunn thanked his fans and supporters for cheering for him during his 8-year career. In a press conference held yesterday, Dunn announced that he was retiring from competitive baseball and giving up his boyhood dream of playing in a World Series, by signing with the Washington Nationals.

It was a bold move for the 29-year-old lefty to step away from the game so early, but he felt the money the Nationals were offering was just too good to pass up. Usually only a washed up veteran who had no interest anywhere else would even consider retiring to Washington, but Dunn might just be breaking the mold.

"I've been so blessed to be able to play my career on teams with at least a fighting shot of making the playoffs," said Dunn between sobs. "But now it's time to move on, do some other things with my life, like lose 13-0 consistently to a bunch of teenagers on the Florida Marlins. It's going to be tough, knowing that I left the game in my prime, but I have to think about my family."

At that point, Washington manager Manny Acta brought out his new number 32 red Nationals jersey, and Dunn broke down into tears after taking one look at it. The crowd was silent as they knew what a sad moment this must be for an athlete. Dunn then got up from his chair and attempted to run away from the press conference, but Nationals security grabbed him and held him down against the podium. He struggled, but they forced the jersey on him and buttoned it down the front.

"We want to welcome Adam to our wonderful organization," said Acta as security held up the limp and crying superstar. "We know it's never easy to retire from competitive baseball like this, but at some point everyone has to do it. Now, if you'll excuse us, I think we have some spring training games we have to get ready to lose..."
Discuss this article in the Forum!


Since: Feb 15, 2009
Posted on: March 1, 2009 10:35 pm

Adam Dunn Retires From Competitive Baseball

wow you are funnyWink



Since: Aug 17, 2008
Posted on: February 17, 2009 11:16 am

Adam Dunn Retires From Competitive Baseball

Very well Dunn.  Of course, going from the Reds to the Nationals isn't really much of a step down.

Since: Jan 20, 2008
Posted on: February 16, 2009 10:49 pm

Adam Dunn Retires From Competitive Baseball

This was so well executed.  Skills, crazy, mad skills.  Wow!

Since: Oct 11, 2006
Posted on: February 14, 2009 12:37 pm

Adam Dunn Retires From Competitive Baseball

Nice job, this is hilarious.

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or