In last week's episode of People Who Drive Eric Nuts at the Gym, we (who is this we? This isn't written by a group of people, you moron!) looked at WalkisEndlesslyusBetweenusSets.
This week's entry has little to do with extended narcissistic breaks between deadlifts or a complete lack of form during group workouts like NoFormusFemalus. Rather, this is strictly a fashion issue. So if we may go Bravo on you for 250 or so words, this week's PAGDEN is FutureMan.
Who is FutureMan? He's the gentleman sporting the latest and greatest in gym attire, and looking oddly futuristic in doing so. This usually involves being covered head to toe in some sort of Under Armour-Nike Dry-Nike Shox-iPod Touch w/sweatproof cover and pedometer mishmash. This individual, inspired by his attire, can be typically seen working on machines lifting light amounts of weight and causing blindness to people who stare too long at the sheen radiating from his body.
But let's break it all down:
His habitat is ... around light weights, usually machines. Checking out the merch for sale at the gym. Sometimes spotted on elliptical machine.
You may notice him ... wearing bright colors, because you can't see any flesh on this breed of human, in skin tight, synthetic clothing.
What drives him nuts ... noticing another FutureMan gym patron with more futuristic attire on.
The deal with FutureMan is that he believes the clothes make the workout man. But there is good to FutureMan. Because sweat simply beads off the man and doesn't collect on his synthetic skin, there's rarely a residue left by him on machines.
Who drives you nuts at the gym (Maybe it's me, the person watching everybody else at the gym!)? Next week we'll have another PAGDEN.
On to the best CBSSports.com blogs ... around
The Greek Speaks presents The Best Damn Poll In The Land's Top 25 for week 10. As usual, it's better than anything spat out by a computer.
Random Thoughts about Stuff has some pretty wild thoughts about what the Dodgers should do this offseason, including acquiring Jake Peavy and sending Andruw Jones back where he came from.
It's been nearly two days since the Allen Iverson-Chauncey Billups blockbuster wend down. Thoughts of Basketball weighs in, with plenty of criticism for all parties.
Lastly, if you like Minnesota sports, check in on Minnesota Homer, who breaks down all the teams in the Great Lake State.
Klick of the Day
Making the most of having one line on The Sopranos (NSFW: language)