Kentucky basketball picks up unexpected commitment
October 28, 2010
Gil Espy, The College Basketball Enquirer
WINCHESTER, KY -- The University of Kentucky received quite a surprise on Thursday when a Winchester, Kentucky resident announced that his unborn child will be playing for the Wildcats basketball program. During a hastily called press conference held at a Clark County area Sizzler, Festus Antone announced that his son, Lex, will be a Wildcat.
"Ever since me and my wife got hitched, it's been my dream to have a son play for the Wildcats," said Antone, whose wife Sue's ultrasound on Wednesday revealed that the couple would be having a boy. "When I saw that little ol' weinis of his up there on that screen, I started cryin' right then and there."
"And them was man tears too," added Antone, "which everyone knows is the rarest of all tears."
Antone, who stands only 5'-7" tall, is nevertheless confident that his son will be gifted with the physicals attributes to play major college basketball. "My wife ain't too easy on the eyes, far from it in fact," said Antone. "That ol' girl is bigger than Sasquatch though, and strong as a donkey."
"All seven of my daughters are big girls too," said Antone. "My wife and I may look like Gandalf and Frodo standin' next to one another, but we sure enough breed big children."
Despite nobody from the Kentucky athletic department having contacted him as of yet, Antone remains resolute.
"As sure as I am that that the sun'll come up in the mornin', and that Christian Laettner is the devil his self, I know in my heart that my boy'll one day be a 'Cat."