Blog Entry

If You had a Personal Ad

Posted on: November 23, 2008 10:45 am
 
Early Sunday mornings are set aside to clear out the spam from my numerous email accounts.  I happened to notice that, along with the regular emails that have informed me that my ex-husband was killed on a dangerous stretch of road in Nigeria, something that seems to occur on a weekly basis (my poor ex has died more times then a cat with nine-lives on that very stretch of road) and how male enhancement products can, in fact, spice up my love life with the woman that I love (which I think they kind of have me confused with someone named Dennis), I found a few new types of emails having crept into my box.  One was how I too, can find hot women who are looking for sexually hungry men by responding to their ads on a particular site, and the others from both Match.com and EHarmony. 

When I was single, just right after my divorce, the dating lines were just starting up.  I was a single parent, who didn't get out too much and a girlfriend and I decided, perhaps for fun, to give the local line a chance.  The local newspaper provided a space for it and since it wouldn't cost us any money we each placed one.  Hers was along the lines of classy young lady, never married looking for professional male...blah, blah, blah...her hopes were to find a doctor or lawyer.  (She found the doctor but that turned into a strange obsession where they both started stalking each other, which is another story). 

Mine was along the lines of divorced 30 something down to earth female, enjoys Steelers football, long walks, long talks ...blah blah blah...seeking the same.  My friend ended up jealous because I ended up with more hits then she did.  I had met a few nice guys out of it and, yes, even chatted with some really wierd ones, but nothing really panned out of it, especially since being newly divorced, I wasn't really seeking a serious relationship. 

Being married now, I have no desire to place a personal ad, however, it doesn't stop me from thinking about how I would write one or two of them up.  I would be torn on which one I would actually use, the serious one or the fun loving one. 

I guess if I were to use the serious one, it would read, mature woman, late 40s, children no longer at home, romantic at heart, enjoys long walks on beaches, watching sunsets, quiet evenings at home, and Sundays watching football, with the spontaneity to run off and go dancing, horseback riding, etc........

However, I'd be more likely to use this one:

Old biddy seeking young stud who doesn't have an adversion to yardwork and organizing garages in exchange for homebaked cookies.

So...if you were to write an ad, what would yours be?
Category: General
Comments

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: November 26, 2008 6:23 am
 

If You had a Personal Ad

Nope JSB,

Maybe if I were 20 years younger...but not now.  Did I mention I love poker too? 



Since: Sep 13, 2006
Posted on: November 25, 2008 5:26 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

      Arbitrary assumptions about Pittsburgh.

      Cooks, has a functioning brain, sense of humor,
likes football, AND trips the light fantastic.  You out
to win the 'most desirable woman in America contest' ?



Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: November 25, 2008 2:59 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

Ahhh...how quickly we'd sell our souls if the price was right...lol.



Since: Nov 6, 2006
Posted on: November 25, 2008 2:47 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

For enough money, I'd burn my Patriots jersey and become a fan of the Colts, Lakers, and Yankees.  Hell, if she's a millionaire, I'll walk around with a sign that says "I am Peyton's Ho".  I don't even care.



Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: November 25, 2008 6:02 am
 

If You had a Personal Ad

The laundry and dishes are a big attraction, the fact that you're trainable...you won't be on the market that long. 

Does this mean, with enough money, you'll jump bandwagon and become a Colts fan? (just teasing).

Btw...you're only 20?  Wow...am I starting to feel really old now...lol. 



Since: Nov 6, 2006
Posted on: November 25, 2008 4:56 am
 

If You had a Personal Ad

Mine?  Let's give it a shot...

"Superficial attractive 20 year old smartass with big ego looking for an incredibly sexy woman, C cup minimum.  Not much to bring to the table, but if something is broken, I can hit it until it falls apart even further.  Guaranteed to make you laugh, make you smile, and make you cry...all on the first date!.  Housebroken.  Can do laundry and dishes.  Knows to how to cook pasta, chicken, french fries, TV dinners, and he can grill a hotdog like nobody.  He's willing to be the Burger King to your Dairy Queen - treat him right, and he'll do it your way

PS: Huge Patriots fan.  Smelly people (aka Colts fans) need not apply.  Unless your rich, then he'll get over it"

How's that work?



Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: November 24, 2008 6:40 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

JSB, Sociopaths are fun. Sound like an awesome catch.

Why wouldn't you peg me as a dancer?  I love to dance. 



Since: Sep 13, 2006
Posted on: November 24, 2008 5:47 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

     wouldn't have thought of placing an ad, but ..

     Older sociopath looking for funny lady.

     wouldn't have pegged you for a dancer, either.
congrats mum.



Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: November 24, 2008 4:29 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

Now I know where I know you.


Yeah...it was mostly the NASCAR fans that were a little "off"...did you happen to find the Jeff Gordon bumper sticker that I left on your car btw?

LOL on your ad plaid, promises of romance that would leave a woman totally speechless.

Eh, if the guy is willing to push the lawnmower and clean out my 1 1/2 car garage...where's the disappointment in exchange for cookies????   Figured with the young stud, less chance of rushing the guy to the hospital to treat for hernia or cardiac arrest. 

 




Since: Nov 26, 2006
Posted on: November 24, 2008 4:17 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

I had met a few nice guys out of it and, yes, even chatted with some really wierd ones,

Now I know where I know you.

As for my add it would have to be.............Nutty guy. (boiled peanut freak) Recently single, (She finally dumped me) and currently on the lookout for new business opportunities. (Got fired from job) Seeking someone who loves kids, (needs babysitter) long walks, (my '86 pick up just broke down) and candle-lit dinners. (My electricity was turned off.)

 As for your add, I know no-one who would turn down homebaked cookies. Your 'young stud' requirement is where you run the risk of disappointment.



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