Blog Entry

If You had a Personal Ad

Posted on: November 23, 2008 10:45 am
Early Sunday mornings are set aside to clear out the spam from my numerous email accounts.  I happened to notice that, along with the regular emails that have informed me that my ex-husband was killed on a dangerous stretch of road in Nigeria, something that seems to occur on a weekly basis (my poor ex has died more times then a cat with nine-lives on that very stretch of road) and how male enhancement products can, in fact, spice up my love life with the woman that I love (which I think they kind of have me confused with someone named Dennis), I found a few new types of emails having crept into my box.  One was how I too, can find hot women who are looking for sexually hungry men by responding to their ads on a particular site, and the others from both and EHarmony. 

When I was single, just right after my divorce, the dating lines were just starting up.  I was a single parent, who didn't get out too much and a girlfriend and I decided, perhaps for fun, to give the local line a chance.  The local newspaper provided a space for it and since it wouldn't cost us any money we each placed one.  Hers was along the lines of classy young lady, never married looking for professional male...blah, blah, blah...her hopes were to find a doctor or lawyer.  (She found the doctor but that turned into a strange obsession where they both started stalking each other, which is another story). 

Mine was along the lines of divorced 30 something down to earth female, enjoys Steelers football, long walks, long talks ...blah blah blah...seeking the same.  My friend ended up jealous because I ended up with more hits then she did.  I had met a few nice guys out of it and, yes, even chatted with some really wierd ones, but nothing really panned out of it, especially since being newly divorced, I wasn't really seeking a serious relationship. 

Being married now, I have no desire to place a personal ad, however, it doesn't stop me from thinking about how I would write one or two of them up.  I would be torn on which one I would actually use, the serious one or the fun loving one. 

I guess if I were to use the serious one, it would read, mature woman, late 40s, children no longer at home, romantic at heart, enjoys long walks on beaches, watching sunsets, quiet evenings at home, and Sundays watching football, with the spontaneity to run off and go dancing, horseback riding, etc........

However, I'd be more likely to use this one:

Old biddy seeking young stud who doesn't have an adversion to yardwork and organizing garages in exchange for homebaked cookies.

So...if you were to write an ad, what would yours be?
Category: General

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: November 24, 2008 5:57 am

If You had a Personal Ad

You know Jelly,

I can see why ads have become popular.  Match dot com claims to have 15 million people in it's database.  EHarmony boasts that it has 230-some marriages everyday.  Of course you can just look at the net and see other sites that offer either free or for a fee personal ads and see the numbers on there.

Datings hard, especially if you're in your mid thirties, early 40's.  Most of your friends are married, most people in your age range are either married or are gunshy about getting back out there because they just gone through a divorce.  When you spend 10 hours a day working (to include travel time and lunch hours) or even more and you know the bar scene really isn't a good place to find a meaningful relationship, there's not a lot of options available.  Where do you meet people at? 

You know I kind of agree with you on the travel part, though the risk of traveling with someone you just met or don't know all that well, well can lead to a story line in "Single White Female, part 20".

Since: Sep 14, 2006
Posted on: November 24, 2008 1:57 am

If You had a Personal Ad

I had just reinvented myself, was starting out in my new career at age 30.  I was feeling pretty good about myself, but I wasn't meeting any single women.  I wanted to share my new experience with someone and I wasn't getting any younger so I took a proactive approach and placed an ad in the local trendy, weekly newspaper.  I received a few replies and through talking with them and dating one it was apparent that I had nothing in common with them.  Finally a girl replied and sounded down to earth and interesting.  It was right before Christmas and I had just caught a cold so we had several phone conversations before we ever met.  About three weeks after we first talked, we went on our first date.  We went to an Aztec exhibit at the Museum of Natural History and had dinner at one of the microbreweries.  We've been together since and now she is my wife.  By the way, she likes football, baseball, hockey, and skiing!

Since: Mar 23, 2008
Posted on: November 24, 2008 12:09 am

If You had a Personal Ad

Useless Male Slob needs a good woman to pay his bills.

Since: Sep 23, 2008
Posted on: November 23, 2008 10:35 pm

If You had a Personal Ad

Fine looking, fiftyish man with plenty of money wishes the occasional company of an beautiful, young Japanese courtesan with extremely high IQ, who is unafraid of being ripped to shreds by insanely possessive wife. Must have great sense of humor, and ability to sight read Latin while wearing ball gag. Recent wax job a definite plus.

Since: Oct 19, 2007
Posted on: November 23, 2008 9:29 pm

If You had a Personal Ad

Mom, your blog really brings back memories.  Before I married in the early to mid-eighties and weary of the bar scene, a lot of my dates were through advertisements in magazines.  My ad would reference a PO Box that I hoped would fill up with letters from compatible girls.  I'm not sure how the mechanics work with the internet today, but suspect the fundamentals are about the same.  One of my three sisters found a husband through the internet ad, so I know first hand it works. 

An ad I would write today would read a lot like your seriois ad, but I would replace late fourties with early fifties (soon to be mid lol), one child at home, and probably wouldn't mention football as not many girls really enjoy football.  I would add something about what I expected to get out of the relationship, like this:

Man, early fifties, daughter in high school, enjoys romantic dinners, wine, sunsets, chats by the fireplace, movies, golf, dancing, gardening, travel, etc. seeks a woman with similar interests for fun times first and let's see where it may lead.

The travel part of the ad is important.  I always hated to waste a vacation at home.  You can really get to know someone on extended dates traveling together, and it was always nice when I was dating someone seriously enough to travel with her. 



Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: November 23, 2008 7:54 pm

If You had a Personal Ad


Okay if I plead the fifth on your question?  I may kiss and tell a little, but only a little...

Since: Mar 21, 2007
Posted on: November 23, 2008 7:48 pm

If You had a Personal Ad

ha Ha ha mom, 

Did you ever make out with a guy that had an upper plate ?

I conveniently left that out. I use to love long wet kisses and was told that I was pretty good at it, too. Between that and a well placed hand on an inner thigh, oddly, nearer the knee; I could make both of us hotter. Whew, I gotta go now and make a call.

Later peoples ! Ha !

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: November 23, 2008 7:30 pm

If You had a Personal Ad

BTW Sircheeks, nice touch with the victimized sports fan.  Plays to the heart strings. 

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: November 23, 2008 7:23 pm

If You had a Personal Ad

Nice ad Ammirr, have you actually thought of placing one like that to see what kind of bites you'd get? 

Since: Mar 21, 2007
Posted on: November 23, 2008 7:14 pm

If You had a Personal Ad

Immature 59 yr old who reads at a 79 yr old level seeks women ... who enjoy: books from H. L. Menkin to Camille Paglia ... long talks off short tangents ... limerics about them/us ... quiet evenings at home with the understanding that my "package" is always hers to use like a Sue Johanson highly recommeded "toy" ... a fine appreciation of many musics ... foods of the world ... who enjoy slow dances and people watching at a cafe or museum ... and don't fall for ads that boast things like, "Where quality is merely a slogan !"   

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or