Blog Entry

If You had a Personal Ad

Posted on: November 23, 2008 10:45 am
 
Early Sunday mornings are set aside to clear out the spam from my numerous email accounts.  I happened to notice that, along with the regular emails that have informed me that my ex-husband was killed on a dangerous stretch of road in Nigeria, something that seems to occur on a weekly basis (my poor ex has died more times then a cat with nine-lives on that very stretch of road) and how male enhancement products can, in fact, spice up my love life with the woman that I love (which I think they kind of have me confused with someone named Dennis), I found a few new types of emails having crept into my box.  One was how I too, can find hot women who are looking for sexually hungry men by responding to their ads on a particular site, and the others from both Match.com and EHarmony. 

When I was single, just right after my divorce, the dating lines were just starting up.  I was a single parent, who didn't get out too much and a girlfriend and I decided, perhaps for fun, to give the local line a chance.  The local newspaper provided a space for it and since it wouldn't cost us any money we each placed one.  Hers was along the lines of classy young lady, never married looking for professional male...blah, blah, blah...her hopes were to find a doctor or lawyer.  (She found the doctor but that turned into a strange obsession where they both started stalking each other, which is another story). 

Mine was along the lines of divorced 30 something down to earth female, enjoys Steelers football, long walks, long talks ...blah blah blah...seeking the same.  My friend ended up jealous because I ended up with more hits then she did.  I had met a few nice guys out of it and, yes, even chatted with some really wierd ones, but nothing really panned out of it, especially since being newly divorced, I wasn't really seeking a serious relationship. 

Being married now, I have no desire to place a personal ad, however, it doesn't stop me from thinking about how I would write one or two of them up.  I would be torn on which one I would actually use, the serious one or the fun loving one. 

I guess if I were to use the serious one, it would read, mature woman, late 40s, children no longer at home, romantic at heart, enjoys long walks on beaches, watching sunsets, quiet evenings at home, and Sundays watching football, with the spontaneity to run off and go dancing, horseback riding, etc........

However, I'd be more likely to use this one:

Old biddy seeking young stud who doesn't have an adversion to yardwork and organizing garages in exchange for homebaked cookies.

So...if you were to write an ad, what would yours be?
Category: General
Comments

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: November 23, 2008 7:12 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

Rob,

Great ad, nothing like truth in advertising...lol. 



Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: November 23, 2008 7:11 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

Lyman...sssshhhhh...no need for you to scare everyone off of me.  Besides, it's only been a year, not two years.  I did get it organized ...just that, well, I, ummm, never kept up with it and it needs organized again.

Sircheeks, that's very sweet of you, but there's nothing cryptic about it. I mean I have a garage that I can barely park the car in and am getting tired of pushing the mower on 2/3 acres of land that I have aspirations to finally get landscaped.



Since: Jun 30, 2008
Posted on: November 23, 2008 6:15 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

Easy there Cheeks . . . after the cookies are gone you have to clean out her garage.  I know for a fact it's needed cleaning for over two years so I would suspect that would be a daunting task - even for you.
First of all, I'm not sure what kind of "cookies" MLF is offering or what is entailed in "cleaning out her garage," but I'd be up for the challenge regardless!



Since: Jul 21, 2008
Posted on: November 23, 2008 4:37 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

HEADLINE:

 Fat, Bald Midget Seeks Amazon Goddess

ABOUT ME:

I throw my clothes into the floor at the exact spot I take them off and will finally wash them as soon as I run out of clothes to wear. When you call me, you'll probably have to leave a message cause I never answer the phone. It might be a bill collector you know. On Sundays, it'll be your job to provide the beer and refreshments for the guys as we watch football and completely take you for granted...only remembering you are there when we run out of popcorn and need you to make some more. On Valentine's Day, I will do my best to treat you to a romantic dinner at Burger King followed by a sappy love movie where at least 45 bodies are shot by machine guns, another 22 blown up by grenades and either Chuck Norris or Sylvester Stallone wins in the end.

FIRST DATE:

On the first date? I'd wait until at least the second date before trying to get you naked....maybe I'd take you to a Monster Truck Rally on the first date....I've always wanted to make-out on the hood of Gravedigger.




Since: Sep 4, 2007
Posted on: November 23, 2008 4:06 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

Easy there Cheeks . . . after the cookies are gone you have to clean out her garage.  I know for a fact it's needed cleaning for over two years so I would suspect that would be a daunting task - even for you.



Since: Jun 30, 2008
Posted on: November 23, 2008 3:37 pm
 

If You had a Personal Ad

MLF,

Incredibly handsome young male looking for intelligent female football fan. Any team, Browns preferable. Ideal conditions: 5''6, well-toned, great smile, and knowledge of zone blitzing schemes. Airheads need not apply. Must be well-versed in comforting victimized sports fans.

(I would gladly reply to your ad MLF. Homebaked cookies?!? Sign me up!)


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