Blog Entry

Happy Fathers Day

Posted on: June 21, 2009 4:23 am
 
If you ever wonder which one would win in a game of chicken, a bicycle or a ball…let me tell you folks, 9 times out of 10, the ball will win, and for the loser, well, it’s not so pretty.  I’m sure you’re asking yourself, what does this and the price of beans have to do with Fathers Day.  Sitting here and looking back on the memories, I can say this is one lesson that my father and I learned together.

It was in the summer of my seventh year.  Then, there wasn’t much to worry about but to just be a kid.   The summers back then were wonderful.  Games of kick the can, hiking and playing in the woods, catching lightening bugs, the obligatory daily bike races you had with your friends.  Well, it was during one of these bicycle races that we both learned the hard way. 

My mother and the neighbors went shopping, leaving the men at home to watch the children.  That evening, my father and the guy who lived beside us, was playing ball in the yard with my sisters.  Not softball, but one of those brightly colored large plastic balls that were easy for little hands to catch.  It just so happened that about the same time my sister missed the ball and it started rolling towards the road, a bunch of us had just started racing down the road, towards my house on our bikes.

You can say it happened in the blink of an eye, but there was a little more time then that.  I saw the ball and knew I had to make a decision.  I was going to fast to stop without spilling the bike.  I could go to the right, but then I’d go over the embankment and get hurt.  I could have swerved to the left but that meant running into the rider beside me and getting hurt.  So I weighed my options.  After all, the bike was bigger then the ball, if I ran over it, it would deflate, right?  Yep, I still remember making that fateful decision and then, the next thing I remember was waking up on the couch.  Needless to say, the ball didn’t deflate. 

I’m not sure how my father handled it.  I did think he blamed himself for a little bit in letting the ball roll to the road.  I’m sure there were things in life he would have done over, if he could.  I don’t know, I’ve never asked.  My relationship with my father has been good, but not the idea, storybook father and daughter relationship.  So when we talk, it’s nothing too in depth or too personal.  It’s not all my fathers fault, a lot of it was mine.  Understand that I’m a product of a divorce. 

My parents divorced when I was 13, old enough to realize what was going on, too young not to let any resentment grow from it.  So our relationship, as I became an adult, was something one might expect from a situation that grew out of a every other weekend and holidays situation.  Add a stepfather and stepmother to the mix, and you end up learning to find a way to cope without feeling that you’re betraying anyone else by accepting the other. 

And with the resentment, there had came a time when I said “I wish my father would have been there for me”.  Now, so many years later, how wrong I was to say that.  After all, he was the one to take me on my first sled ride.  I don’t remember it, but I have the black and white photo’s to show it.  He taught me how to ride my bike and he helped me build makeshift “tree houses” in our yard.  He was the one who came looking for me every time I “ran away” (which actually was quite a few times).  He helped make “sled routes” in the yard at winter and on every New Years Eve would pretend not to be able to get the car up the “hill”, just because we enjoyed the “battle” of trying to urge the car up the hill, only to end up at the bottom of town and having to walk home, in the snow. 

He made sure that he was home each Halloween, to take us trick or treating, and would traipse around with us, not just around the block but the town.  And even after the divorce, I knew he tried.  As an adult, he was there for me when I was in dire straits.  Selfishly, I took this for granted.  And when I asked, my father rarely said no.

Now, at 4 am, I sit here writing this, wondering if it’s too early to call and wish him a Happy Fathers Day.  I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate the humor in it, so I’ll wait.  And perhaps, I’ll let him know that there’s nothing he has to make up for.  He did the best he could.  But even if I don’t let him know that, I will make sure to tell him, “I love you Dad”.

Today and every day, make time with your children and give them memories that will bring a smile further down the road.  And one day, when you dance with your daughter at her wedding, or hold your grandchild in your arms, you’ll have no regrets.

Happy Fathers Day. 

Category: General
Comments

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: June 23, 2009 5:30 am
 

Happy Fathers Day

LOL Papa...thanks



Since: Jan 6, 2009
Posted on: June 22, 2009 7:35 pm
 

Happy Fathers Day

mom! YouRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRReat!!!!



Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: June 22, 2009 3:30 pm
 

Happy Fathers Day

Steve ... how great for you and your son to have a Fathers Day like that.  I'm sure it will be something he will remember for quite a long time. 

I know there are times we wished our loved ones were around for certain events.  I bet his grandfather did see it though. 




Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: June 22, 2009 12:42 pm
 

Happy Fathers Day

ClevelandRocks...I'm sorry about you not having the opportunity to tell your father and your own relationship with him.  And thank you for being so open about.  Funny how we as children promise to do better when it comes to our own. 



Since: Oct 16, 2006
Posted on: June 22, 2009 11:36 am
 

Happy Fathers Day

Momluvs,
Great article, I miss my own father every Father's Day now that he isn't here anymore to share it with. Don't waste a second of time with him or your kids because in a blink of an eye it seems, it's all past.

I had the great Father's Day gift of watching my son be the Honorary Bat Boy for the Red Sox this weekend at Fenway Park, and he got to meet and spend time with Big Papi, David Ortiz, which was unexpected but a great thrill for him.



It was the best Father's Day gift I could have got, I wish his grand dad could have seen it and him with his picture on the scoreboard in CF when he got announced before the game.

Take care mom, all the best

Steve



Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: June 22, 2009 10:38 am
 

Happy Fathers Day

meuse2win...

It's good that you have that relationship with your children.  I'm sure with the example you've set, your children will follow suit with theirs.  Thank you for responding.



Since: Jan 15, 2008
Posted on: June 21, 2009 8:55 am
 

Happy Fathers Day

Wow, Mom that was really something you wrote. We do at times take life for granted and that sometimes can make you think and regret the the things we could have done better.
My relationship with my father wasn't the greatest, did he do his best with us kids, I doubt it. From what I can remember he was hardly there and would rather stay out all hours with his buddy's drinking and carrying on then to be home with us. Were their times he was, yes but that was far and few between. I was also a product of divorce and remember how hard it hit me when that happened.
After I graduated and joined the Air Force and I was stationed in the UK in 86' and recieved some bad news about my parents, which at the time I feared it was my Mother. No it was my Father and I was like WHAT, earlier I had gotten a post from him saying he was in Las Vegas, which was surprising , because I just recieved orders to transfer to Phoenix, Az, which I thought that's great, maybe we can start to have a better relationship as I was 23 at the time and as men we could work on making it better. But, that never happened as the news I got was my Father was shot and killed by some maniac and I never got the chance to really tell him, I love him.
That was in Jan of 86' and I remember coming back to the states and landing in JFK and got a feeling from the people there that something else happened while I was in the air. It was the Challenger explosion. So I can't think of my Father without the other.
So, now as a Father of 4 kids and a divorce & remarried. I do try to be the best Father as I can be and was always there for my kids, to be involved in there activities and I hope that they can remember something I did as a Father and hope they take that with them as they start their own lives and families.
Thanks for letting me get that out.

HAPPY FATHER"S DAY
   



Since: Jan 10, 2008
Posted on: June 21, 2009 7:45 am
 

Happy Fathers Day

Thank you mom, for sharing memories that help us to recall our own.
I do make time for my 4 chlidren, 3 of which are now adults. We could not be closer. They are my friends and share everything that matters to them with me, and vice-versa. I am lucky to have this and I hope most have a simular relationship with their children
  Live each day day spent with your children like it will be your last. It is time well spent.


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