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Blog Entry

Touch Me...there...

Posted on: March 16, 2008 7:41 pm

Why is it that most of the time you sit and plan things and it never works out the way you think it would?  I don't know, it always seems to happen to me, that when I plan something, it doesn't go exactly the way I plan it, or even close. 

Let me digress a bit.  It seems like a long time ago, I had pulled a muscle in my back that had put me into the hospital.  It wasn't a good experience.  Not only was I in pain every time the muscle spasmed, but they were talking about putting me in traction.  Needless to say, with the possibility of having no mobility and being forced to use a bed pan, along with the pain, I was a mess.  That night, I laid in the dark, in a hospital bed crying.  I had no family around, I was in pain and god only knew if the next day I was going to be hooked up to a contraption that was going to bring out an unknown claustraphobia. 

It was then that I fell in love with a male nurse that had been working the floor that night.  Okay, maybe not love.   After giving me my pain pill and spending some time trying to get me calmed down, I found that he had the nicest hands.  No, it wasn't anything out of a deviant sexual fantasy.  When I told him about the back spasm, he rolled me on my side and began to gently massage the spasm out.  God, I was in heaven.  For the first time in 24 hours, I wasn't in constant pain.

The next morning, when I went down for physical therapy, when asked if anything helped, I told the therapist about the back rub.  I guess I should have explained that the way the nurse worked it out was gently to rub and sooth the muscles by running his hands in opposite directions.  So instead of getting a nice soothing back massage, the therapist began kneeding my back like it was a lump of bread dough.  I ended up telling him never to touch me again.

Often times, we take touch for granted.  Depending on the way we're touched or the way we touch another person, it can be soothing, therapeutic, healing, calming, or it can be sensual and sexual, or it can be downright painful.  I may not be a follower in holistic medicine, nor do I subscribe to touch therapy or even believe completely that Reiki is the cure all.  However, being a person who loves to touch and to be touched, being a mother who has seen the effects of her touch on her child and being a wife (and yes, lover), I know the benefits and the downsides of a touch.  

When my daughter was a baby, I found the best way to calm and sooth her was to rub her back and her legs.  She was never a colicy or cranky baby but always seemed happy.  But there were times, when she wasn't feeling well or just had her moments, that all I had to do was lay with her on my stomach and rub her back and she'd fall asleep.  Of course, there were the teething episodes that I'd resort to oral jel or the ear infections and chest congestions where a doctor's care was necessary.  Yet even then, the touch helped her.

I'll admit it, for me, touches can produce a variety of responses.  Alot would have to do with my moods.  Touch me the wrong way and I'm likely to try to knock your head off or want to crawl out of my skin just to get away.  Even if the touch isn't malicious, just that I was in the "don't touch me mood".  There are times that my husband teases me because when I'm sick, I become five again and just want to be touched and cuddled and held.  As an adult, I have to fight the urge of crying out "I want my mommy", many, many, many times.  And then there are other times, I won't go into detail over but I think you get the idea.

When my husband hurt his back, I had to learn the proper way of giving a massage.  Thanks to a friend who's a massage therapist, and a good book on various massages, I think I've become quite adept at giving them.  Even lately, I've had to be more aware of my touch and the effect that it has on him, not sensually, but as a calming effect.  Many know that my husband suffers from chronic depression.  Add to that the mind numbing headaches that his medication sometimes gives him, sometimes the only thing that keeps him from driving his head threw a wall is the caressing of his neck, head and forehead, to help keep him calm until the sleeping pill kicks in.

Okay, so now I'm back to the point where I started at.  The past week, though the depression hadn't been bad, nor have the headaches, he had been having alot of nightmares and because of that, had been getting very little sleep.  So today, I had made plans to help him relax and possibly try to alleviate the dreams by putting him in a peaceful, restful mood.  So just my luck, he sleeps for fourteen hours and is in his better moods where it would take an act of Congress and a miracle from God to allow me to pamper him.  Stubborn old goat, at least some of it worked out.   

Category: General
Tags: Massage

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: March 17, 2008 7:39 pm

Touch Me...there...

Sorry Neil,

First off, Sportsline has limitations on what I can post.  As far as how to touch a woman, it would be more explicit then they'd allow.  All I can say is, tenderly, with caring and a bit of electricity. 

Also,  I think there's enough "kids" on this site that I would rather they talk to their fathers first. 

You can never truly write instructions on how to touch a woman (or a man), that comes only from hands on experience and being able to watch the reactions.

Sorry that you're having long days.  All I can suggest, a nice warm bath and some down time for yourself.  Perhaps one full body massage every six months might just help a little.

Since: Jan 12, 2007
Posted on: March 17, 2008 7:19 pm

Touch Me...there...

I have to agree with Jelly, lack of sleep can be a huge factor in your daily health.  Having just gone through a whole week of maybe 3/4 hours sleep a night and 14 hours a day work I am as cranky as I have ever been ( trust me that is VERY cranky) and ready to shoot someone (good job I don't have a gun). Add to that 16 and 18 year old girls who have discovered boys and sexuality I am just about ready to leave home and flee back to England.

I have thought for many a long time if I could afford one thing to pamper myself it would be a full body massage every week.  Touch is a highly underated part of being a human being.  I have to confess I am a "touch" person too, when someone who I know is upset I hug them male or female, compassion and a demonstration of compassion is a trait we do not use often enough for fear or rebuke.

...and mom I agree with other posters your titles are somewhat misleading, I thought I was going to get a lesson on how to touch a woman!!!!

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: March 17, 2008 11:39 am

Touch Me...there...

Come to think of it, thats why Baby Plaid is here in the first place.

Yup, there's a trade

Since: Nov 26, 2006
Posted on: March 17, 2008 11:24 am

Touch Me...there...

 Eventually he'll be at an age you can divert his attention and not have to wait so long to get her touch too.  Come to think of it, thats why Baby Plaid is here in the first place.

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: March 17, 2008 9:28 am

Touch Me...there...

Plaid, thanks.  Hopefully he'll be able to get his scripts changed and that will help with the headaches.  As far as the pampering going, I'm always willing to pamper him.  The whole idea was to help him sleep better, so in the end, regardless of method, he was able to do that.  Of course, if I had set up a seduction scene, I'd have been a little more disappointed (no, I'm not blogging on my seduction scenes, btw).

I can understand how difficult it is with a little one.  With mommy being gone all day, babies are content with Daddy but they'll always want their momma's touch.  At least you have some hope.  Eventually he'll be at an age you can divert his attention and not have to wait so long to get her touch too. 

Since: Nov 26, 2006
Posted on: March 17, 2008 9:05 am

Touch Me...there...

Mom......we should all know by now not to read anything into your blog titles. Too bad for your hubby. First for the headaches and pain, then for the unconciousness he showed when you were willing and able to give him relief.

 As you may know by now, I am a stay at home dad, and I have noticed that Baby Plaid is such a handful when Mom is home. He doesn't cry so much when she isn't home, but let him hear her voice when she gets home, and he gets excited. His exuberance quickly fades though, and we are left with a whiny, crying child that I have not seen since the previous day. Bottom line........he wants his Mommy. He wants her to pick him up, and hold him. He craves her touch. Ironiclly, so do I. Only now, I have to wait.  Thank goodness for beer.

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: March 17, 2008 5:39 am

Touch Me...there...


We've just found ways to identify the triggers and try to head them off before they get out of control.  Most times we're successful, sometimes we're not.  The nightmares are a trigger, and I know when he doesn't get a good nights sleep for a long period of time, he will start sinking into the worse of it.   

From what I understand about hospice care, they incorporate "alternative" medicine with traditional medicine to help make a persons time on earth more comfortable.  I think what you're talking about is reflexology, and yes, it definitely works to help alleviate the pain.  Not only are there certain parts in the feet, but in the hands also.  Often times when I feel a migraine coming on, I start massaging the skin between my thumb and forefinger.  This works for a tooth ache also.

Glad your Mom had the care that she did.  It's also good that you're whole family had the opportunity to grow up with being comfortable with being able to touch each other.  Funny, families who aren't afraid to show love and touch in a loving way always are closer. 


Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: March 17, 2008 5:13 am

Touch Me...there...

Well, although I had to remove it...that's another topic that may be blogged on at another time. 

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: March 17, 2008 5:12 am

Touch Me...there...

Well broncosfan, I can be as stubborn as he is.  I'm lucky myself that he will stroke my hair, etc when I get sick.  It allows me to be vulnerable with him and when he needs me like that, he's being vulnerable for me also, which can be hard for a man to do.

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: March 17, 2008 5:08 am

Touch Me...there...


I can see your leg kicking now. My daughter, who is now 19, will still curl up on the couch and lay her head on my lap. When she does that, I know she wants her back rubbed. Funny how alot of parents stop doing some things to/for their children as they grow up.

It's always been important to me for my boyfriends to enjoy being touched and enjoy touching (even outside of the bedroom). My relationships where they didn't, tended not to last too long.

And yes, touching is definitely a form of intimacy that can surpass other forms.

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