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Blog Entry

Ask Mom

Posted on: April 17, 2008 12:40 pm
Edited on: April 17, 2008 3:15 pm
 

They knew it would happen.  Just plant the seed and be patient and it will eventually come around.  They know me too well.  I'd resist at first and fight it, but it would be as inevitable as the morning routine of having the dog, cat, canary and kid follow you into the bathroom.  Yes, I fought that too, first making sure the door was fully closed and latched, yet somehow the cat learned how to turn the door knob.  When I would lock it, I could hear my husband laughing maniacally on the other end of the door as he unlocked it, then teaching the dog to open the door. 

Okay, so maybe that's not exactly true, but when I did have animals and/or the daughter was younger, there was always someone or something sitting there waiting patiently for me when I stepped out of the shower.  No, my husband never unlocked a door, though my ex would and then would dump a bucket of cold water on me while I was in the shower.  Oh well, that's another story. 

Anyway, I gave in to the fact that there would be no privacy while I was getting ready for work in the morning, and now I give into this, at least this once.  I'll accept the challenge to open myself up to questions, any questions to be able to see how well I can answer them.   I know I should be afraid but the pull is too much to resist.  It's not that I haven't been asked questions that have taken me aback a bit, like the time my sisters, my daughter and myself were sitting around my sisters table before a funeral and my daughter asked what self-pleasure was (she was 10 at the time).  I had to resist answering her with the typical "a pint of ben and jerry's ice cream and warm flannel pj's", and went about explaining briefly as my sisters ran out of the room laughing.  Of course, there was the time that my daughter was doing a science project when she was 11 and asked what improvements electricity had made in my life.  Okay, so I told her I got to see man first walk on the moon.  Guess it wasn't the right answer though.  I turned around to see her crying and when I asked what was wrong, she bawled out that I was old and going to die soon.  (Yes, I don't let her forget that one either).

Okay, so we'll take a shot at this.  So take your shot, call me Erma, call me Abby, I just ask that any questions don't go outside the TOS of Sportsline and that they don't involve any math whatsoever.   Oh...and I can't guarantee that any of my answers will exactly be really serious either. 

Category: General
Tags: Humor
 
Comments

Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: April 17, 2008 1:19 pm
 

Ask Mom

Keep in mind, this is a 2 year old.  I'm not really sure how I managed to hold my composure.  My wife and I had a very "interesting" conversation that evening.  Did I forget to mention that I plan to have her locked in a closet until she is 35?  Wow, you're pretty liberal...I would have thought minimum would have been 40.  My daughter was about 4 when my sister was changing my nephews diaper and my daughter couldn't figure out just by looking why he had something different.  (She knew the boobies thing along time before that though).  Just wait till yours keeps growing, I'm sure there will come a point you'll be covering your ears and going "lalalalalala...I don't want to hear this".



Since: Feb 12, 2008
Posted on: April 17, 2008 1:13 pm
 

Ask Mom

A few months ago she came up to me and said, "Daddy?"  and I said, "Yes Baby."  She followed with, "Guess what.  me and Mommy have vagina's and you have a penis.  We have boobies too."  Keep in mind, this is a 2 year old.  I'm not really sure how I managed to hold my composure.  My wife and I had a very "interesting" conversation that evening.  Did I forget to mention that I plan to have her locked in a closet until she is 35? 




Since: Sep 9, 2006
Posted on: April 17, 2008 1:01 pm
 

Ask Mom

tundrajaz,

Well, at least you'll be composed and calm about it.  Anytime my daughter and I have talked about sex, my husband covers his ears and walks out of the room going "lalalalalalalala" (okay, more like sprints out of the room).




Since: Feb 12, 2008
Posted on: April 17, 2008 12:56 pm
 

Ask Mom

I have already formulated my standard answer to any uncomfortable question my daughter may ask me.  Granted, she is only 2 years old but she already thinks she is 16.  My answer will be, without question, "That is a very good question.  Do you know who would have a great answer for you?  Mommy.  She would love to talk to you about that.  Can you hand me the remote on your way to see her?"  Then, I get to watch the ball game and mommy and daughter get some bonding time.  Everyone wins! 


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