Blog Entry

Oh If I were a Patriots Fan....a top 10 List

Posted on: January 30, 2008 1:44 pm
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As I sit back on this gentle Wednesday and survey my supplies for the upcoming Super Bowl Extravaganza in The Den, surely I lament a bit I realize that Wade Phillips will be again viewing the big game from the comfort of his saddled horse at home and T.O. will have to wait at least another year for everyone to hate loving him again.  And I think to myself what it must be like on the other side of the SB fence...the East Coast frame of mind...that skin bubbling knowledge that your team will take the grand stage to play for immortality.  Deeper yet, what if my team were a team perfect in record and full of those who stand alone in achievement with bars set higher than anyone has previously reached...what if I were a New England Patriots fan.  So here are the top 10 things I would do if I were a Patriots fan...

10. Begin donations to the "Keep Randy in Chowder" fund. 

9.  Demand the rights to the moniker "America's Team" from Jerry Jones, he should make me a good deal.

8.  Walk into a Schula's reasturant, order a bottle of Dom, pay and leave it unopened on the Table

7.  Sell "Mercury Morris Needs AA" shirts before the Big Game

6.  Open a Boston area resturant and have every item on the Menu reference this season (ie. 19-0 Chowder, The Perfection Platter)

5.  Divert Money from the "Keep Randy in Chowder" fund to his legal defense coffers

4.  Never tell anyone that Bill Belecheck is a robot from the future sent here to....I've said too much

3.  Hand Tom Coughlin a Video Casset titled "Defensive Play Calls" and say, "The Guys Said This Won't be Nessecary"

2.  Petition George Bush to wear the Belehoodie when the team meets him at the Whitehouse

1.  Not post a damn thing on the CBS Sportsline Message Board defending my team, because they are 18-0, have already been penalized for thier rules infraction (cheating, we can say that...its ok, it happened, its over) and are 12 point favorites to win the Super Bowl and go undefeated....they need no verbal defense, just post a link to the NFL standings as my response and move on.  If they do loose, I would take it for what it was, a phenominal season and make sure my team's front office knew how badly we wanted that nucleus back next year to make another run at it.  What I wouldn't do is give every jag-bag in the world the ability to get me riled up about what THEY said about a team I don't play on to the point that all the board is filled with are threads where a person is trying to get a desired response out of another person or persons. 

crap my soapbox is tipping and I need more ice

  TBZya later

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Category: General
Comments

Since: Nov 3, 2007
Posted on: February 21, 2008 3:05 am
 

Oh If I were a Patriots Fan....a top 10 List

It's hard to addmit they lost. Count down for next year. 0 down 19 to go. GO PATS!!



Since: Mar 1, 2007
Posted on: January 31, 2008 1:39 pm
 

Oh If I were a Patriots Fan....a top 10 List

Sporty,

Thanks for the support and don't worry, there are plans in place to have Jessica replaced with one of Dr. Evil's Fembots. Cazart!




Since: Jan 15, 2008
Posted on: January 31, 2008 10:13 am
 

Oh If I were a Patriots Fan....a top 10 List

Very funny, i'll  have to forward this to my boss,he is a die hard Cowboys fan living in Patriot country.

Maybe next season the Cowboys will take out a restraining order on Jessica Simpson to keep her thousand of miles away from Tony Romo and Irving Texas.




Since: Mar 1, 2007
Posted on: January 30, 2008 5:17 pm
 

Oh If I were a Patriots Fan....a top 10 List

Patriots list:  Petition Robert Kraft to open a tab at Proflowers.com so that Tom Terrific will never again be accused of gifting substandard flora.

 

Excellent Brad!  I have to agreee that if I am bringing home an arrangement to my wife and it is looking like that, I had better have a boot on my foot too and the story should start something like:  "There were 10-12 of them, big mean guys... and they all wanted YOUR flowers baby....."




Since: Apr 18, 2007
Posted on: January 30, 2008 5:11 pm
 

Oh If I were a Patriots Fan....a top 10 List

Both lists are excellent.  If I may add one item to each:

Cowboys list:  Force the "Son of Bum" to sign a Magna Carta prohibiting him from making a non-injury change to the starting lineup in the playoffs no matter how much he thinks it will work (Flutie/Johnson; Barber/Jones).

Patriots list:  Petition Robert Kraft to open a tab at Proflowers.com so that Tom Terrific will never again be accused of gifting substandard flora.




Since: Mar 1, 2007
Posted on: January 30, 2008 2:12 pm
 

Oh If I were a Patriots Fan....a top 10 List

Well played Delta, a sense of humor drastically missing in many fans from both of our camps.  Good luck on Sunday and don't worry, the Robotacheck secret is safe with me...



Since: Nov 21, 2006
Posted on: January 30, 2008 2:09 pm
 

Oh If I were a Patriots Fan....a top 10 List

Hilarious, turbo. At least you can sit pretty with the knowledge that T.O. will be back again next year!

To counter, I'll offer my top things I'd do if I were a Cowboys fan:

5. Start a "Philly Phund" for T.O.

4. Plead Parcells to release the stranglehold he has on the organization and leave Jerry alone.

3. Develop a Venn Diagram to point out the differences between Marion Barber and Julius Jones in hopes Jerry won't give up the Barbarian for the #1 pick.

2. Stock up on popcorn for another run next year.

1. Buy Jessica a Sudoku book to keep her the hell away from Irvington.


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