Blog Entry

The real AV. Catharsis is healthy.

Posted on: March 4, 2008 9:21 am
Edited on: March 4, 2008 9:22 am
I know all you men out there like breasts, right?  Some like them big and some like them small, but in the end, you like them all or shall I say love them all?  This is the important part of this assignment for all you men out there.  Believe it or not you can actually help your woman maintain her health by noticing and talking about any abnormal lumps you may feel in the breast when you are …..uh…..examining them.  Yeah that’s it, examination. My friend’s husband noticed a lump in her breast and it was cancer. She received immediate treatment and she is doing quite well now thanks to him. Women are encouraged to give themselves exams but another opinion never hurts and that is where you guys come in.   Now to be fair in my public service announcement it would be unfair if I left you fellows out of the discussion. Men can also have breast cancer. My Grandfather has had both breasts removed about 8 years ago due to cancerous tumors growing there.  You fellows should check yourselves and don’t be too embarrassed to ask your physician about anything you find.   Breast cancer is devastating for women.  Mastectomies steal a part of our femininity from us. We don’t feel sexy. We feel deformed. It is incredibly emotional, the damage it does to your self image and self worth.   How do I know this? I didn’t have a husband or boyfriend find my lumps.  I happened to have gotten an MRI on my shoulder as a result of a bike crash which left my rotator cuff in shambles.  This was a blessing in disguise for me. As a result I have had a double mastectomy. Chemotherapy took my hair. The avatar pictures that I have posted were me before breast cancer.  I am embarrassed to have posted these pictures now because I have been dishonest with myself and you readers out there.  I have been living in the past, enjoying the ability to be able to flirt again.  To be noticed again. As Gezemice correctly pointed out, I am underweight for a woman 5’9” in height at 123 pounds.  But not really given what is missing and the anemia I am struggling with. She encouraged me to see a doctor, concerned I may have an eating disorder, and I wish that was it. I am happy to say I am doing fine. Latest tests were negative and my prognosis is good. I am supposed to see a plastic surgeon in a few months about reconstruction.  I actually still play great golf.  And I work out constantly to rebuild my strength.  And mountain biking starts up soon.   Now this blog is not intended to draw pity from any of you.  And I certainly do not want to depress anyone.  Rather to come clean with myself and perhaps do some good for all of you. Please heed this warning. Check yourselves. See your doctor’s. Get the uncomfortable things looked at (mammograms, paps smears, prostates, colonoscopies, etc…) and you may live long enough to see the Cubs win a World Series.    This blog has been cathartic for me. Thanks for listening and get out there and give some examinations (ask for permission and warm up your hands, first….LOL).   I think I am done for a while.  Have a great spring. Amanda Victoria
Category: General
Tags: Health

Since: Oct 19, 2007
Posted on: March 11, 2008 8:23 am

The real AV. Catharsis is healthy.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " Dr. Seuss

Since: Sep 15, 2006
Posted on: March 6, 2008 10:35 pm

The real AV. Catharsis is healthy.


I do not think you need pity and don't think you would find it here for any reason. You have used this time and place to explore what is deep inside you as somehow I feel you doubt that you are still the woman you were. Rest assured, you still are. Our bodies are not the temples we have been taught to think they are. I have read your posts in other places and found you have a first class mind, which is better than anything we are given physically. I pray you peace and I hope you do not mind if I ask some others on a prayer thread to pray for your peace as well. I do not know your ideas on the Almighty and will not be offended if you find I should butt out, but I hope you can follow me to this thread. Believe me, there are many strong women who suffer the pains of life daily, but are some of the most cheerful people you will ever meet, two of them are on a thread I hope you can follow me to if you are interested. Either way, I pray you the grace of God and the peace from your inner turmoil. I will add you to my favorites so you can follow me to the thread if you want to.


Since: Oct 14, 2006
Posted on: March 6, 2008 1:44 pm

The real AV. Catharsis is healthy.

Amanda--I'm glad to hear that you are doing well enough in your recovery to be talking about plastic surgery.  You shouldn't be embarred about posting old pictures of yourself.  It is a very emotional time your going through and you should do  what ever you needed to do to help with the healing process.  I'm also glad that the little bit of flirting that took place on these boards were helpfull to you emotionally.  My best friends sister went through the same thing you are going through, and she said it actually helped he golf game.  Those damn breast always got in the way she said.  I also hope that you don't sell us guys short in regards to your looks.  I know that sounds corny, and it is the first thing people notice in each other.  But breast size is not in the top 10 things that most guys are looking for in a woman.  At 18 maybe it was, but not now.  Also it would be a shame if you left for any lenght of time.  You always added something to any conversation you joined.  Finally I hope at some point in the future you will feel comfortable enough to post a current picture of yourself on here.  I for one would love to see it.  Hang in there and you will be in my thoughts.

Since: Oct 7, 2006
Posted on: March 6, 2008 1:22 pm

The real AV. Catharsis is healthy.

My father was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1998, and was given 6 months to live. After treatments he recovered and did well for years. In fact he passed away just this past year at age 72 - but from a heart condition, not cancer. He had a full life.

So it can be done! You learn a lot about life when you face death. I was in the hospital for 2 months & rehab 2 months fighting total paralysis due to a rare condition called Acute Idiopathic Polyneuritis, or Gillian Barre Syndrome. Iit's like Multiple Sclerosis, only short term. Your antibodies eat the sheathing from your nerves - not fun. I was on a respirator in ICU because my lungs quit working, and my heart was going out when I miraculously recovered. I still only weighed 120 lbs (down from 210!) but after a lot of hard work, I put some muscle back on. That was a few years back. I recently got to where I could run a 10k in less than an hour, which is good for a 40+ yr old geezer. The only residual effect is that the soles of my feet are tingly like your funny bone feels after you hit it - not funny. But it serves as a reminder of when I couldn't move them at all, to thank God for my blessings, and to know that I must still have a purpose.

When I hear stories like yours, I can relate - it brings back a lot of feelings. Having to be pushed around in a wheelchair is not a big deal when if before I couldn't even sit up at all. But being disfigured is an odd thing to deal with. You mentioned that as a woman you didn't feel attractive any more. As man, being paralyzed, it was difficult because every man, woman & child above the age of 5 could physically subdue me with ease. It made me learn a little humility, but gave me inner confidence in knowing I'm still the same guy, and if I never get any better I'll be just fine. Thankful in fact. Dare I say, Joyful?

You have my prayers. Apparently you still have a purpose, too. It's a gift - don't waste it!

Since: Dec 13, 2007
Posted on: March 6, 2008 12:16 pm

The real AV. Catharsis is healthy.

Hey, AV.  Thank you for that message.  I have went through some traumatic events myself recently. Sometimes I would wonder how I made it through.  Then I would realize that I was not alone.  I feel that my belief,  faith and prayer carried me through.  I'm not here to preach, I am just sharing what I feel helped me through.  Remember you are not alone, and I will keep you in my prayers.  Hope to see you posting again. Take care. BioPimp.... 

Since: Apr 25, 2007
Posted on: March 6, 2008 8:33 am

The real AV. Catharsis is healthy.

AV, thought that you being a golfer would appreciate this quote that Ken Venturi said at Harvie Ward's funeral (read it in the book The Match - a must for golfers and golf fans)

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body. But rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming...'Wow, what a ride!'

It sounds to me like you live your life in the same manner and should be very proud of your bravery and honesty.  Good luck getting that ace - I've been waiting for mine for a while too.  It's especially frustrating when you hear about a 90 something year old blind guy hitting one.  Thanks for giving us all something meaningful to think about.

Since: Jul 6, 2007
Posted on: March 5, 2008 11:27 am

The real AV. Catharsis is healthy.


Glad to hear of your good prognosis.

My son has been going through some medical issues since October. He said to me (he's 10) that "This has been the worst year of my life." I told him that I hope when he's 90, he can look back and still say that being 10 was the worst year of his life. I hope when you're 90 and looking back at your life, that this is the worst that happened, and things just keep getting better from here.

You seem to have a great attitude, which they say always helps.

Good luck.


Since: Nov 11, 2006
Posted on: March 5, 2008 8:24 am

The real AV. Catharsis is healthy.

Well AV I personally sought out a female proctologist to check me .......seroiusly...........and she s hot for 45........she takes the same postiiton........Personally I recommend Female doctors for all the men..........i went that way about 5 yrs a s awkward....but if anyone is gonna put  a finger in my s gottta be a babe.....have a great day


Gotta have humor bc laughter is the best medicine...................we got your back babe...............

Since: Jan 17, 2008
Posted on: March 4, 2008 11:53 pm

The real AV. Catharsis is healthy.


I wish you the best in your fight against that insidious disease. I admire your strength courage and honesty. I like too many others have lost people, in my case my sister, close to us to this horrible disease. You are fortunate that it was caught early. You have the right attitude to beat it and I have faith that you will. I will keep you in my prayers. Fight the good fight.

You have shown humor, great insight into the people and sports with your other postings. I know I am one of the many of your fans of your writing. You have shown your true inner beauty with your writings.

I also wish you well on your quest for that ace. May you have many years to get one. I too await my first one after way too long of trying. My game though is no where as good as yours.

Since: Oct 21, 2006
Posted on: March 4, 2008 11:26 pm

The real AV. Catharsis is healthy.


Just found your post and added you.

I'm not sure if you're a religous person or not, but I believe that God never gives us anything we can't handle. My wife is being watched closely for cervical cancer so I can relate to the feelings swirling around your life right now.

I wish you the best of luck and will pray for you. Not only will this post be helpfull to you, but I'm sure others who may be going through similar situations will receive some comfort.

You seem to be an active and motivated person, so I'm sure you will be abe to turn this part of your life into something that will encourage and motivate you, and others, for years to come.

God Bless,


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