Blog Entry

The time for Roberts is NOW!

Posted on: February 4, 2008 12:16 pm
OK, Brian, I want your promise. That roid was just that one time, promise? DO YOU PROMISE???

Because here's what I think is going down. Bedard is going to the M's soon for Adam Jones and 4 minor leaguers and Angelos is going to need Pie like another hole in the head. That takes care of the major sticking point among not only our organization, but all of Cubdom. Unfortunately, Angelos still has a man-crush on you, so you will not come cheap.

Nevertheless, we're coming after you. You might not have noticed, but we boast a solid pitching staff -- not spectacular but very, very solid -- and all we did is get deeper in the off-season. You might not have also noticed that we blew last year when it came to advancing runners -- not just in the playoffs, but all season long -- and all we did is go on a shopping trip in Tokyo. That's a start.

Can you get used to the idea of being one of the best leadoff guys in baseball, hitting out of the #2 hole? Because no matter what anyone might prefer, Soriano is our leadoff guy. He sorta owns us...and not the other way around...for the next five or six years. Something happens in his head when he's not in the #1 hole, but so be it. We kinda like the look on an opposing pitcher's face when he comes off the mound down 1-0 at the end of the 1st. Now the thing is he sometimes racks a few K's too, or swings at crap and hits it to somebody, but you'll notice on his way back to the dugout he's always smiling. He's a happy-go-lucky guy.

And you should be too. That's because at those times when he doesn't hit a bomb, you'll essentially be our leadoff guy! Your job will be to get on base, maybe swipe one, and let's see if D-Lee, A-Ram or Fuku-San can get you home. (You can bring your own nickname from Baltimore...we're easy).

It will probably cost us some young pitching to get you. That's OK. We have a history of developing good pitching, but being a little weak on developing good hitting. I know what you're thinking: Won't Mark DeRosa have his feelings hurt, especially after his great efforts last year. The answer is a resounding NO! He hates playing second base, and has told me personally that he was born to be an uber-utility (his italics, not mine). He can occasionally stand in for Theriot (who's electric but ran out of gas last year), A-Ram (whose knee is not getting any younger), Soriano (who should see what it's like to NOT throw someone out at home so he can count his blessings) and Fukudome (who will realize soon enough that it's hard to maintain a super-high level of concentration with all that beaudacious ta-ta strutting through Wrigley on an afternoon in June).
Category: MLB
Tags: Chicago Cubs

Since: May 17, 2007
Posted on: February 4, 2008 2:06 pm

The time for Roberts is NOW!

Be ye apprised ... the subject of women, bread and baseball ... combined with the principle of "aging" at the age of something UNDER 30 ... all this tends to make me a very disgruntled person.

Put this in perspective please, for us senior citizens.

Since: Sep 3, 2006
Posted on: February 4, 2008 1:20 pm

The time for Roberts is NOW!

Yeah, just what we need.  An aging 2B with a history of steroid abuse whose value is solely dependent on his ability to run.  Sounds like a good trade target.  Maybe we could give up two or three guys to get him.  After all, players only get faster as they get into their 30's, right?

Since: May 17, 2007
Posted on: February 4, 2008 1:14 pm

The time for Roberts is NOW!

Boy, we are sure lucky they invented bread.

Since: May 22, 2007
Posted on: February 4, 2008 12:42 pm

The time for Roberts is NOW!

Talk, talk, talk. All you guys want to do is "Discuss this comment?"

Can't you see these two ladies are the sandwich and I'm the meat? Sheesh.

Since: May 17, 2007
Posted on: February 4, 2008 12:34 pm

The time for Roberts is NOW!

I can see now how this rather intelligent post about a baseball player has turned into a shameless pandering for women's under garments and photographs of lusted trusted and busted.

But I won't fall for this hype. I know that water cooler conversation about the Victor Secret commercial was about male chauvinist values and how we are insensitive to anything resembling conversation, feelings ... it's all about football, right?

No, it's about baseball
Not about scantily attired members of the other side of the gender board.

So, Frantic ... care to explain the question?

Since: Feb 13, 2007
Posted on: February 4, 2008 12:23 pm

The time for Roberts is NOW!

Nice blog.  Yeah, Yeah, we want Brian Roberts.  Soooo......., um, where's the scantily clad women????  The only reason I came here was for the women.  You promised women, Frantic.  Where are the women?

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