It's impossible to say which is thicker -- the level of hilarity or irony.
What else can you do but laugh and shake your head when the biggest screw-up in golf history takes it upon himself to discuss the mistakes of the game's second-biggest trainwreck on a major sports-radio talk show?
As my wife likes to say, "pot, meet kettle."
After starting off an interview with Atlanta's Mayhem in the AM morning show at 790 The Zone talking about the NFL Draft and the counsel he has given prospective pick Ryan Mallett, which is ridiculous enough on its face given John Daly's track record of trouble, four wives and record-breaking fine totals as a PGA Tour player, but Daly then delved without prompting into the affairs d'Tiger Woods, which is when it really got interesting.
Daly didn’t explicitly say it, but he created the strong impression that Woods told him he became a serial adulterer because his sex life at home had gone stale. Daly's comments are in a more complete transcript of the radio appearance available here, where the website author comes to a similar conclusion about Woods' home life.
Daly began the treasure trove of eye-rolling Woods comments after noting that he advised Mallett to tell the truth as quickly as possible after making any career mistakes, because it results in a shorter news cycle, as opposed to the year-long public-relations disaster that Woods endured.
He might have gotten that one right. Maybe. Said Daly on the air:
"I mean, you can look at what Tiger’s going through. It’s embarrassing. Is he embarrassed? Hell, yeah, he’s embarrassed. Anytime we do something bad, we’re embarrassed, but the way I’ve felt good about myself is I’ve always been honest. Whether I’ve done good or bad, I’ve always told the truth. And it gives the media a one-day story instead of a prolonged eight, nine months story that Tiger’s was.”
Actually, Daly's ex-wife Sherrie disputes plenty of what John has said over the years in her new book, Teed Off, but we digress. The radio hosts asked Daly if he passed any of the Mallett P.R. advice along to Woods personally.
“I did last year at the PGA [Championship]. And what we talked about, I couldn’t even fathom telling you guys, because it’s a personal conversation, but it made me relieved of what Tiger was going through. Do I blame Tiger for what he did, and does he? Yes. But does he have a reason? Yes. And that reason is something I don’t want to talk about.
"But I told him, ‘If you would have come out that night after the [Thanksgiving] incident and told the world what was going on — not listened to your agents, not listened to anybody else, just what your heart said and thought what you just told me — this story would have ended in one day.’ And he said ‘I know, I know. I just had to listen to everybody.’
"I said, ‘That’s the thing you’ve got to understand, Tiger, you’re the greatest player that’s ever played, you don’t have to listen to anybody, you have to listen to what your heart tells you to do.’ And he says, ‘I thought about talking to the media right after it all happened, I really did, and told them the truth and told them what was going on. But I was told not to.’ So, I don’t blame him in that aspect of listening to the bad advice, which I totally think he got throughout the whole situation.”
That sound you hear in the distance is the bones of IMG agents crunching under the wheels of Daly's bus. Also, how can anybody assert that Tiger had a reason to cheat on his wife with a reported 120 women? Please proceed, J.D., because like Bluto Blutarsky, he's on a roll.
"I mean, you’re looking at a guy who all the way through his college days, all there was was golf, golf, golf, golf golf. And then there was more golf. And then there was more golf. The guy never had a chance to live a life, and you know, certain things that people go through they find out they like and don’t like."
You can see where this is going, right? Straight into a sex-rehab couch.
"And as a young man or whatever, there’s certain things you like and certain things you don’t like. He found out late what he really liked because he was never around it. He didn’t have a chance to find out what women were like and what girls were like that much until he was in his late teens, late late, almost 20. I don’t think folks realize that.”
Oh, we realize it. There's a reason Tiger was nicknamed Urkel in college. I'm sure he's happy that you reminded everybody that he was a huge golf geek until, almost overnight, he became so cool, he could get any chick he wanted. That doesn’t give anybody the right to have sex with every pole-dancer in America, does it?
“Well you should [be loyal] if your wife’s good and makes love to you when you want to be made love to, and does things with you and wants to do things with you, and wants to support you, and wants to be with you in your career, wants to take the selfish side of the player. I mean, in this sport, in major sports no matter what, even a guy that runs a multi-billion dollar corporation — a woman has to understand that it’s a lot on a person’s shoulders to deal with.
"You can either be a part of it, supportive and keep going, and not go your materialistic ways that I’ve been through. My exes, if you look at my life, they just quit supporting me. Plus, they didn’t want to have sex anymore. And when that happens — and I’ve always been straight up front with every one of them — I said ‘if you’re not going to give it to me, I am going to go get it somewhere else.’ And that’s just the way I’ve been whether there’s a ring on my finger or not. Is that adultery? Maybe so, but from what I understand, when you’re married they’re supposed to give it to you.”
Let's see, this classy little NC-17-rated radio conversation ought to add to Daly's tour-topping fine total, huh?