Who knew Mary Poppins could conjugate a verb?
Butch Davis' "nanny" reportedly wrote papers for North Carolina's players. Seriously? My first reaction was: define nanny. I mean, really. Was she licensed? I googled "nanny service" and "Chapel Hill" and got three hits: Triangle Mothercare Inc., Take a Minute housecleaning, organizing and babysitting and -- ah, here it is -- Thee Nanny Service.
The page didn't open. I've heard them called au pairs or baby sitters more than nannys. The only nanny I know has bad dental work, Nanny McPhee. Shame on Emma Thompson for taking the check for that one.
The job title conjures up images of proper English women with umbrellas and really tight buns (Hairstyle, people! Hairstyle!). I suspect what we're talking about here is semantics. "Nanny" is a lot more inflammatory than "babysitter" or "tutor". Take the words "Nanny" "NCAA" "wrote papers" and "North Carolina" and you've got the makings of a New York Post headline.
Take that image and plop it down in the middle of Carolina's football program and ... well, it's unbelievable.
Unbelievable because Davis is a fixer. The tragic irony of this North Carolina story is that Davis got Miami back on track after crippling NCAA penalties in the 1990s. It was his recruiting that provided the foundation for the 2001 national championship (coached by Larry Coker). Before that, the Canes were what USC is going to be in coming years. Down, out, playing scrubs.
Then a week before signing day, Davis left for the NFL and you couldn't blame him for returning to his roots. Davis was arguably on his way to repeating the Miami turnaround at Carolina. The Tar Heels haven't been relevant in football since Mack Brown 13 years ago. Now this.
There are NCAA investigations on two fronts. Just when you thought the South Beach party possibly involving defender Marvin Austin, looked bad, the real sordid stuff hit Thursday. A nanny/tutor/whatever writing papers for players. The school called it "academic misconduct". Let's call it what it is (if true) -- academic fraud.
That's lack of institutional control stuff. Given the current mood among the NCAA infractions committee, that's USC-like stuff, aka coming within an eyelash of the death penalty. Sure it's early. As we speak, an entire armored division of lawyers are headed to Chapel Hill.
But it's these early stages that freak people out. Las Vegas sportsbooks began taking North Carolina-LSU off the board. The line moved North Carolina being favored to LSU. The only tangible "penalties" so far are that a few players were shifted over to the scout team. That's not punitive. That's sensible. Davis likely knows he won't be able to use them against LSU (at least), why practice them with the first team?
No jokes here: This has to hurt North Carolina. It is a great academic institution. It's pride and rep have been wounded. In a way, it's a reminder that this kind of stuff can happen anywhere. If there is any solace, there's always a spoonful of sugar ...
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USC did everything wrong in response to the allegations. They had 1 compliance officer for the entire department, and they apparently didn't do much to change things once the Bush Allegations came to light -- see, OJ Mayo. Garrett's entire attitude towards the NCAA, one that reflected the university's attitude towards the NCAA in general during their investigation, was defiant. Then, months before the final meeting, McKnight starts driving around in a car that a wanna-be marketer purchased for his girlfiend and Garrett hires Kiffin. I am not sure what more USC could have done to scream, "We're not changing, and you can't make us change."
The only way you can compare USC to UNC will be if Baddour starts telling the NCAA to go jump off a bridge, reduces the compliance department to one guy in a cubicle, Davis leaves for the NFL, Baddour hires Ed Orgeron as head coach to replace him, and Roy Williams recruits the latest one-and-done with a neon sign hanging around his neck that blares, "will play for highest bidder."
UNC's going to get punished here. But the punishment won't be as bad as USC's and it won't be as bad for the simple reason UNC takes the allegations seriously.