Blog Entry

Hey Gregg: Go back to the football fields

Posted on: July 15, 2010 2:34 pm
Edited on: July 15, 2010 3:07 pm

So my good buddy Gregg Doyel wants steroids back in baseball?

He wants artificially inflated behemoths flexing their muscles? He wants brawny Jolly Green Giants feeding us red meat and cheap thrills?

Hey, Gregg, we've already got that.

It's called the NFL.

I know, I know. They've got a steroids policy over there, too, and they had it long before baseball and yada, yada, yada.

What are we supposed to be, stupid? It's normal for guys to grow to 6-7 and run the 40 in two seconds flat?

You want juice, go watch Cowboys-Raiders. Or tour a Tropicana plant.

Leave baseball alone.

Go ahead, take your shots at the "purists". Compare the low-scoring games this summer to a Spain-
Netherlands World Cup match. Me? I think the sound of too many vuvuzelas have damaged your thinking.

Steroids and greenies? Really?

I mean, I know you've always lived just one area code away from the cuckoo's nest, Gregg, but I thought you were more responsible than this. What are you doing tomorrow, teaching the neighborhood kids how to make moonshine?

What I get tired of is, there is little appreciation for subtlety anymore. Anywhere. You can't go to a movie without things blowing up onscreen every two minutes. Everybody's yelling at everybody on radio and cable TV, from the ESPN shout-fests to CNN's Nancy Grace.

Must we be smashed over the head with a sledgehammer each way we turn in life anymore?

Must everything devolve into Short Attention Span Theater?

If you want to zing Tuesday night's All-Star Game, here's where you go: Joe Girardi's managing. To be given a 34-man roster and still be exposed by failing to have a pinch runner at the ready for David Ortiz in the ninth inning was flat-out embarrassing. If Girardi's Yankees play in the World Series this October, all he has to do to learn why they don't have home-field advantage is look straight into the mirror.

Baseball made several tweaks to this year's game and still couldn't get it right: What's needed is smaller rosters, not larger ones, and stars like Albert Pujols, Ichiro Suzuki and Joe Mauer actually still being in the game when it's on the line in the late innings.

Even commissioner Bud Selig was rhapsodizing earlier Tuesday about the days when Hank Aaron and Roberto Clemente played the entire All-Star Game. Well, duh. That's how you juice this thing back to the level it once was.

Still, Tuesday night's game had some terrific moments. The best of which was Scott Rolen's intuitive read of a single to center and busting it all the way to third to spark the NL's winning rally. It was the kind of key play that too often was rendered meaningless during the Steroid Era as everyone sat around and waited for three-run homers.

No, other than Girardi's death-wish managing, the only folks who couldn't enjoy this, I'm sure, are the ones who complained that there still weren't enough things blowing up in Iron Man 2. Which, no, I didn't see. The first one was lousy enough.

Anyway, Gregg, I could go on from here, but my guess is I've lost you already, my friend. You're probably already salivating over Cowboys-Raiders.

It's OK, though. I still look forward to covering the World Series with you in October. And being the generous guy I am, I'll make you a deal: If a pitching duel breaks out, the Red Bull and No-Doz is on me. OK?

Oh, one other thing: I don't completely disagree with everything you wrote in this whack-job of a piece. The Tiger Woods line? Excellent.


Since: Apr 8, 2009
Posted on: July 19, 2010 12:33 am

Hey Gregg: Go back to the football fields

Not sure how to answer that I dropped out of Nursery School, but hey feel free to try and get me Doyle's job, I promise he will only irritate people half as much as I will.  Wait I might have got that backwards, no I re-read that, that is right.  HA!

Since: Feb 11, 2008
Posted on: July 17, 2010 2:51 am

Hey Gregg: Go back to the football fields

PhillyAlchemist, now you can write satire, why not give Mr Doyel a few lessons.
Loved your repost and " can't touch that, RC Hammer lip-sync). Give up you win, that was was too truly funny to touch, lol.
P.S. Are you telling me there are still students after the third grade in Philadelphia?

Since: Apr 8, 2009
Posted on: July 17, 2010 1:47 am

Hey Gregg: Go back to the football fields

Know what I love, I love the blind Doyle haters.  Do you realize that Doyle is probably the one guy who can't get fired because he probably generates the most responses?  And I love that I am a moron by association because I don't blindly hate Doyle.  Do you have any idea how much money CBS makes off the traffic Doyle generates by his Doyle haters?  Do you have any idea?  Its awesome and hysterical!  I cast my vote for Doyle as King of CBS Sports.  That's right he stirs the pot, and sometimes he spits in it, and sure sometimes he smokes it, and yes sometimes he takes a dump in it and makes an article about it, but he always sets people who take sports way tooooo seriously off and its a riot everytime.  As i write this I am peeing myself while choking on my own vomit I am laughing so hard.

PS.  your gibberish insults wouldn't get you out of the 4th grade in Philadelphia.  I bet you don't even know how to insult someone in British you Poof snogging fannie Kiwi.  

Since: Feb 11, 2008
Posted on: July 16, 2010 8:50 am

Hey Gregg: Go back to the football fields

PhillyAlchemist, I think you owe an apology to any that have read your post. There was no signs of his article being satirical,perhaps he like you was under the influence, of a " mind expanding " drug and the rest of us do not grok. Children and adolescents read these pages as well as adults, and if an adult can't discertain what satire is , doubt they can. You have stretched the poetic licence ( in my opinion hasn't been renewed for 40 years, and at best was bought second hand from Lenny Bruce, so that he could buy a package of cigarettes from his cell, for his satire). Don't know if you're related to Mr Doyel or for that matter not Mr Doyel, but you're brain is fried in the outer limits." Great Satire?" please explain, you are a taco away from being a combination platter, a few screws short? The lights are on but nobody's home, in short you're just shy of being mentally challenged( after all you can type). What calling your lawyer for defamation of character numb nuts?. Hey I was just being satirical( in the I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar mode).Get serious,( just a little would help , you know).

Since: Apr 8, 2009
Posted on: July 16, 2010 1:11 am

Hey Gregg: Go back to the football fields

See you don't understand that the article he wrote was great satire right up there with that article all the years back that suggested the potato famine starving Irish eat their babies.  Its the same thing and was clearly just an homage to a great satirical work from the distant past.  How is that for subtlety?  I think you owe Doyle an apology which is probably much worse then working with him.

Since: Feb 11, 2008
Posted on: July 16, 2010 12:57 am

Thanks for that Mr. Miller!

Can only hope Mr Doyel can learn from your excellent advice. Hit the nail on the head, although Doyel's head might have made the nail bend! Perfect response to an irresponsible, silly, and assinine post. Loved the " Must everything devolve into Short Attention Span Theater?" line. Great post Mr Miller, once again, thanks for that.

Since: Oct 18, 2007
Posted on: July 15, 2010 9:36 pm

Hey Gregg: Go back to the football fields


Love it! 5 easy stars Scott.

Since: Nov 14, 2008
Posted on: July 15, 2010 8:51 pm

Hey Gregg: Go back to the football fields

Is it just me, or is this all just a little transparent?

We all know that nobody takes Doyel seriously or gives his opinions any respect. Why would they? The guy is a glorified blogger CBS still pays for someone reason and his schtick is getting tired. He's not getting the attention he deserves. He strives to create controversy with stupid opinions he probably doesn't really have anyways.

So since few readers are giving Doyel any relevance, why not assign Miller to an easy critical piece on some contrived nonsense Doyel just spewed out about how awesome steroids are? Miller, normally one of the few decent writers on CBS, stoops to a new level by implicitly giving Doyel respect by actually writing a piece about his opinion.

Anyways, I'm sure you morons had a good laugh in the virtual break room about this. Hope it was worth it. It was a massive waste of time for the rest of us.

Since: Apr 28, 2009
Posted on: July 15, 2010 8:26 pm

Hey Gregg: Go back to the football fields

this is good stuff!!!!!

Since: Oct 10, 2006
Posted on: July 15, 2010 5:23 pm

Hey Gregg: Go back to the football fields

What are we supposed to be, stupid?

I don't know, weren't all the baseball writers pretty stupid back in the steroid era?  Guys like Luis Gonzalez turning into home run hitters overnight, and no one said anything then.

I honestly can't believe that a baseball writer would have the gall to rip the NFL on steroids.  The irony of that is astounding.  I'm not saying that I think everyone in the NFL is clean, but at least the NFL has been trying for years to keep the game clean.  Baseball?  They had to be dragged kicking and screaming by Congress to get ANY kind of steroid testing.  If not for Congress getting involved, you'd have guys like Dexter Fowler hitting 40 home runs.

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