My God! A pitcher running the bases?
What could possibly be next?
A pitcher catching an infield pop-up? A pitcher fielding a ground ball?
Nooooo! Not that! Anything but that!
"My only message is simple: The National League needs to join the 21st century," Yankees co-chairman Hank Steinbrenner huffed in the wake of Chien-Ming Wang's injured foot. "They need to grow up and join the 21st century."
Look, obviously pitchers should remain hermetically sealed and be packed in styrofoam peanuts between starts. We can all agree on that. Right?
But this problem of pitchers running the bases in NL games and interleague games ... hmmm.
OK, I got it. How about if we have ghost runners when a pitcher reaches base, like we did when we were kids and didn't have enough players to fill out the sides in pick-up games?
A pitcher reaches base, he's immediately yanked off the field and placed in a protective oxygen-chamber, or humidor, and replaced by a ghost runner who shall advance as many bases as the batter.
Oh, and ghost owners, too. That would be an improvement.