Magnums, huh? You go, Malik Alvin!
Posted on: November 11, 2008 11:15 pm
Edited on: November 11, 2008 11:18 pm
We have a leader in the clubhouse for goofiest college basketball story of the year.
It's about Binghamton's Malik Alvin.
He's been suspended for stealing condoms.
According to the report, Alvin was confronted by Wal-Mart security last month when officers said he tried to leave the store with contents from a box of condoms without paying. Naturally, the junior college transfer took off running and was caught ... but not before knocking a 66-year-old woman to the ground and causing her to suffer a concussion. In other words, Alvin's attempt to practice safe sex led to an unsafe shopping experience for an old lady.
Alvin has been charged with petty larceny and third-degree assault. Somehow, he pleaded not guilty because I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for stuffing condoms down your pants, running from security and trampling a senior citizen on a Sunday afternoon at the local Wal-Mart. Let he who has never done that cast the first stone.
Anyway, the best part is that Alvin didn't just steal any condoms; he stole Magnums.
Particularly for a 6-0, 165-pound guard.
I call BS.
But if you're gonna go down you might as well go down carrying something serious.
So for that, I say hats off to Malik Alvin and send a Get Well Soon to the woman who took a charge for Wal-Mart security.
That's a hustle point in my book.