Blog Entry

The 5 Cleanest Players of the Steroid Era

Posted on: February 8, 2009 11:55 am
Edited on: February 8, 2009 12:01 pm
 

OF Chuck Carr

In 1997, Chuck Carr while with the Milwakee Brewers popped out to third base on a 2-0 count, Phil Garner asked him why did he swing? Chuck responds "That ain't Chuckie's game. Chuckie hacks on 2-0." Not too long afterwards Chuck Carr found himself jobless as he has found throughout his career. I guess talking like Rickey Henderson won't get you too far if you can't drill a ball out the park. Sorry Chuck you're just too skinny and scrawny.

Chuck has always been a skinny trash talking arrogant runt, but one thing you can count on this smack talking bum is that he did not juice up. There is no way with his swing for the fence first attitude and his I gotta make an easy catch look hard. If Chucky knew the rest of the league was on the juice you know he would have juiced up too, or at the very least snitch on all dem cheatas. From the Mets, to the Marlins, to Houston, Chuckie never changed his game. He won 1 stolen base title with the Marlins while trying to hit 50 home runs, but fell short by 46. He will always be remembered for his jogs to first base admiring that fly out just before the warning track.

 

3B Dave Magadan

Dave was a pure 6'3 big for nothing that came through the Mets system. He never hit more then 6 home runs in a season or stole more than 2 bases. He was just an adequate fielder and okay hitter. Dave would not be a major leaguer during the 90s. After leaving the Mets he eventually went to Florida and lost his job to Gary Sheffield. Sheffield was a scrawny little punk in Milwakee that never showed signs of power until after being traded to the Padres. Gary showed up to camp like he spent the whole winter in the gym. When going to the Marlins he could almost pass for a muscle bound Golem monster. So sorry Dave you're out of luck all because you chose not to juice and nobody wants a big for nothing that can't steal bases or hit for power, but youre a great guy so teams will keep you around as a backup.

 

OF Michael Jordan

Nobody in baseball wanted to be like Mike. Nobody in baseball even wanted Mike around. Mike could run faster and throw the ball anywhere with better accuracy then most major leaguers. He had talent, but he came in during the wrong time. He also couldn't hit very well and his defense was shoddy. If Jordan juiced all of us who watched him for years would have known it.

 

2B Wilton Guerrero

Wilton doesn't steal too many bases and he can't hit for power. He can barely even hit without using a corked bat. He is the complete opposite of what his brother Vladimir is. Younger brother Vladimir Guerrero must have hogged up all the good genes.

 

OF Chris Gwynn

He couldn't hit, couldn't steal bases, no power, nothing, nothing, and nothing. He got a shot because he was Tony Gwynn's brother. His career was short and sweet.

Comments

Since: Sep 6, 2006
Posted on: March 11, 2009 10:00 am
 

The 5 Cleanest Players of the Steroid Era

Don:

Very nice, and pretty funny, post. 

However, I would have liked some sort of set up, because it isn't immediately clear you're writing with more than a little jest here.

Had your post been 100% serious in tone, you'd have had to have included guys like Griffey, Maddux, Glavine, Randy Johnson (although any weightlifting would probably snap his elongated limbs), etc.

Then again, your jest is much appreciated too.

teets 




Since: Jan 17, 2008
Posted on: February 14, 2009 8:55 pm
 

The 5 Cleanest Players of the Steroid Era

Cal Ripken Jr. Kirby Puckett,  played for the love of the game, not for the fame and fortune.




Since: Jun 17, 2008
Posted on: February 11, 2009 10:46 am
 

The 5 Cleanest Players of the Steroid Era

I think alot of you guys are missing the point of what The Don Rey was making. He is not saying,"Who is the best player who is clean"

He saying "who are the no doubt cleanest players". Who because of their numbers, build, size, and performance, has no chance of being a roid user.




Since: Jun 17, 2008
Posted on: February 11, 2009 10:42 am
 

The 5 Cleanest Players of the Steroid Era

willdixon,

 

You don't ever have to worry about Griffey. There is one thing all roid users have in common. They are all weight room rats! They have to be to put on the muscle, and repair hurts. Even Pettite, was a huge work out rat with his BFF, Roger Clemens. This why Griffey is safe.

He detests the weight room. He has been criticized his whole career, for having little to no work out regime. Which also may be a reason for all the injuries. You can start worrying when you start hearing reports that Griffey is rededicating himself, and really gettin in shape. That is the sign!




Since: Nov 23, 2008
Posted on: February 9, 2009 2:43 pm
 

The 5 Cleanest Players of the Steroid Era

I would have to say of all the players with over 500 hr's in the recent era,  Jim Thome would definitely be clean. I know he has been questioned, but he doesn't seem like the type. A meat and potatoes farm guy with a lot of natural strength.




Since: Feb 5, 2009
Posted on: February 9, 2009 1:08 pm
 

The 5 Cleanest Players of the Steroid Era

OOOOOOOOOOOOK,

Pete Rose clean but likes some lines

Craig Griffey (ken's little bro) couldn't hit water falling outta boat

Macky Sasser... couldn't hit a pitcher with a ball IN a boat

Ozzie Canseco... big bro didn't share the good stuff

the Boone boys (take your pick) Brett had 1 good year and the other bro hit ONE big HR but nothing since or before...

 




Since: Feb 5, 2009
Posted on: February 9, 2009 12:43 pm
 

The 5 Cleanest Players of the Steroid Era

Ozzie Smith, Ryne Sandberg, Andre Dawson, Dale Murphy, Gary Carter, Kirby Puckett, NOLAN FRIKIN RYAN, geez.... the list goes on and on and on...... great guys, great team-mates, great players.... CLEAN CUT HARD PLAYIN guys! !!!!  Lenny Dykstra, Kruk, Magadan,




Since: Feb 5, 2009
Posted on: February 9, 2009 12:37 pm
 

The 5 Cleanest Players of the Steroid Era

I totally agree with your 3... how could you leave those guys off of a 5 of anything list when it comes to MLB.... 3 of the classiest, hard-workingest, jovial, loving, kindest, givingest, and talented players to have ever laced up a Nike in my opinion and they wouldn't break a rule to get into heaven.  Class, class, and more class describes those guys and they were HOF shoe ins when they were still in their prime..... the only 2 I'd add to the list is Ozzie Smith and Ryne Sandberg...... maybe even Jr.Griffey but those 3 gotta be there!!!




Since: Jul 1, 2008
Posted on: February 9, 2009 12:26 pm
 

The 5 Cleanest Players of the Steroid Era

I was listening to sports radio over the weekend and one analyst (I believe it was Ken Rosenthal) stated that he didn't know if he could vote for anyone for the Hall of Fame who played in the steriod era - at least on the first ballot, because of the steroid question that looms over the whole sport and the inability to tell the uers from the nonusers. I started to think to myself, which potential Hall of Famers could I feel safe in voting for (if I had a vote). The only one I would feel really strong about was Maddox - air tight numbers and a guy that never relied on strength. It's a bit unfortunate that you can only root for guys who are skinny pitchers or hitters that don't have any power, because you are always worried that if you fall in love with a guy who has a great attitiude and really produces on the field that he will turn out to be a cheater. 




Since: Nov 6, 2006
Posted on: February 9, 2009 12:04 pm
 

The 5 Cleanest Players of the Steroid Era

Guess this joke went over everyone's heads...Loved the post!  



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