Blog Entry

List of Places Least Likely to Visit...

Posted on: October 13, 2010 10:59 pm
Edited on: October 14, 2010 7:46 pm

Because movies ruined them for me. Yes. As silly as this sounds, I just finished watching Southern Comfort again and it reminded of how many movies have made visiting the rest of the world somewhat undesirable. I can't believe how many are right here in the U.S. Most of these are very beautiful places. Unfortunately, odds are good that I will never visit them. Here are my top 10.

1) Lousiana (Southern Comfort) - I guess if you stay in New Orleans for Mardi gras, you might be safe. If you stray anywhere into the Bayou, watch out! Because the Cajuns will hunt you down claiming that 100+ square miles worth of swampland is there backyard and you're trespassing.

2) Brazil (Tourista) - I'm always hearing what a beautiful place this is to visit. Not if you've seen Tourista. I'm not going any place where there's a nutcase Anti-American doctor ready to carve you up for your organs. I don't care how damn beautiful those waterfalls are.

3) West Virginia (Wrong Turn) - I guess if you stay away from the short cuts, then you'll be OK. If you're in a hurry, be prepared to battle indestructible inbreds with uncanny bow & arrow skills who will hunt you down to be their next meal.

4) Insert any war-torn Eastern European country (Hostel) - Oh boy. Don't get suckered into going into this country because the babe to male ratio is supposed to be off the charts. Some hot chick will seduce you, drug you and then you'll wake up in a solitary chamber where crazy people pay to torture you for fun. Plus, the kids in this country are downright mean unless you give them bubble gum.

5) Insert any rural backwoods region in America (Deliverance) - So you want to take a canoe and camping trip into the woods? This movie will make you think twice about camping anywhere besides a campground. Ask Ned Beatty...SQUEAL LIKE PIG!

6) Paris, France (American Werewolf in Paris) - If you're old and you don't go clubbing anymore, Paris may work out well for you. If you're young and into the underground clubbing scene, then stay home. These crazy Parisians will trick you by saying they love Americans (yeah right) and lure you to an underground party where they lock the doors at midnight. Then you'll be dismembered and eaten by Werewolves.

7) Somewhere in the New Mexico desert or anywhere else they've done nuclear testing (The Hills Have Eyes) - This is another one where a short cut can lead you to trouble. You will find yourself stuck in the middle of nowhere and murdered by a clan of irradiated mutants.

8) Australia (Wolf Creek) - Stay near the coast. Don't let anyone talk you into adventuring into the outback. It's almost a given that your car will break down. Then a serial killer in a tow truck will offer you help where he then proceeds to kidnap and torture you.

9) Barrow, Alaska...or any other town that loses sunlight for 30 days (30 Days of Night) - VAMPIRES! All I can say is Vampires.

10) India (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom) - I love food as much as the next guy. However, Chilled Monkey Brains and Eyeball Stew aren't exactly at the top of my list of must eats. The worst part is being kidnapped by a cult where the leader rips your heart out and shows it to you before sending you to a fiery death.

So consider this fair warning. Feel free to add to the list.

Category: General

Since: Nov 16, 2006
Posted on: October 15, 2010 1:09 am

List of Places Least Likely to Visit...

HAHA! Thanks for the advice HE.

Since: Sep 20, 2009
Posted on: October 14, 2010 9:45 pm

List of Places Least Likely to Visit...

conquer your fears thrashard, conquer your fears!
turn that list upside down, and check them off ... one ... by ... one.

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