Blog Entry

“God Loves me so Much, He Created Football Twice”

Posted on: November 24, 2009 6:50 pm

And it’s true.  Not only over these next couple of weeks do I get conference championships, bowl games, significant NFL games, playoffs and Super Bowl, but I also get Champions League matches, grueling domestic fixtures, F.A. Cup matches and personally, I think my second consecutive League Cup trophy.  Because that’s my favorite of them all. 


This is an exciting time of year, however.  There is football on every weekend, some on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and some on Monday nights.  Essentially, with the exception of Friday nights, there is football on every day.  What a world that we live in!


Handball! – The French national team.  This isn’t over yet, France.  I am just one of many that will devote my next June and July to cheering against whatever nation you come up against during the 2010 World Cup.  If justice will be served, you will get drawn in with the Americans, and Landon Donovan will punch the ball into the top corner of the net a la Paul Scholes to send your nation reeling and causing the rest of the world to laugh.  Although, the way this appears to be scripted, Platini and Zidane will come out of retirement, nestle under the covers with the referees and the world will be speechless as Les Blues lift the big one once again.


Yellow Card – Pittsburgh Steelers.  Be careful my friends.  Losing games to the Kansas City Chiefs doesn’t augur well for your team with only six weeks left in the season.  Although a gift from the Oakland Raiders has assured all of us that you will most likely win the division before the season is complete.  Just quit losing the easy games. 


Goal! – Me.  For picking the Oakland Raiders to go to the Super Bowl.  They’re not entirely out of this thing yet!  3-7, and they’ve beaten the Eagles and Bengals.  This team might just catch fire and I wouldn’t want to play them right now!  Here’s too making my full-scale use of sarcasm look genuine!


Red Card – New York Yankees pursuit of Joe Mauer.  We all know that this is going to happen.  Technically, they could e-mail Joe an e-check with the amount segment left blank.  I would like to get a head start on the Mauer sweepstakes and red card every team besides the Twins in sight.  Red Card – Boston Red Sox, New York Mets, Los Angeles Dodgers, Los Angeles Angels and anyone else that has 160 million dollars in their budget, because that’s what it’s going to take to keep this kid in town for the next 7 years.  Twins, your move.


Yellow Card – Chicago Bears.  At last!  I don’t have to hear about the Herschel Walker trade anymore!  This is the most annoying, agonizing, redundant topic that I hear about every time the Dallas Cowboys dynasty is brought up!  Yes, that wasn’t a very good trade.  But... Jimmy Johnson was an extraordinary coach.  Jerry Jones did not have a budget.  Dallas knew how to draft.  They already had a quarterback in place.  So many things that could have kept the Vikings from being good, or the Cowboys from being bad.  Maybe Herschel and Troy go on to win three super bowls anyway.  And now.... my other rivals have a historically bad trade in place.  If Denver does go on to win three super bowls with Josh McDaniels, then yes, Chicago I will feel your pain.  This yellow card is for making that trade in the first place.  Maybe the problem is you.


Relegation – The Minnesota Timberwolves.  Come on!  This is getting absurd.  We have made these decisions over the past couple of years.  Randy Foye instead of Brandon Roy or Rudy Gay.  Rashad McCants instead of Danny Granger or Hakim Warrick.  Corey Brewer instead of Joakim Noah or Al Thornton.  Kevin Love instead of O.J. Mayo.  And now Ricky Rubio instead of Brandon Jennings or Stephen Curry.  Are you kidding me!?  If this was football, you would be in the third division for these past judgments.  I hereby promote North Carolina to the NBA, and relegate the Wolves to the ACC.  Maybe we can finish ahead of Duke.


7 minutes of extra time... – NFL MVP as far as I’m concerned is Brett.  I hate this.  It’s burning away at me inside.  Yet, there is no one in the league that has changed ‘his’ team’s fortunes more than one #4.  Is Marian Gaborik the next Kevin Garnett?  One wouldn’t think so, but he could take the Rangers a very long way... Liverpool and Bayern Munich in the Europa League final?... I haven’t seen the film yet, but never have I heard such positive feedback for a movie as I have for, “The Blind Side” with Sandra Bullock.  Take some time out of your holiday cheer and give this movie a look...  Brady Poppinga and Tramon Williams will be Packer legends if the team doesn’t miss a beat over the next six weeks and qualify for the playoffs... I don’t think that my Nittany Lions deserve a BCS bid.  However, I do believe that they would’ve locked up the #12 seed in the playoffs and could potentially have beaten Cincinnati on the road before losing at the hands of TCU in a college playoff... Is the board of directors at Notre Dame feeling okay?  Do they realistically believe that Urban Meyer would even consider leaving the Gators for Touchdown Jesus elementary school?  Coaching the Gators is the best job in football as far as I’m concerned, NFL or college... Mr. Henderson, if you go to Iowa, not only will you break the hearts of all Minnesotans, but as a future scout I will question your ambition as an athlete.  YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT.  Do not choose the Hawkeyes... I, Nate Confer, have decided to follow a specific nation for the World Cup.  It will not be the U.S of A; it never is.  In 2010, I will support the Three Lions with everything that I can muster, because nothing will make that nation happier.  Prince William could marry Jessica Alba, the pound could be the strongest currency in the world, Jaguar could outsell Toyota, and still the British would be most happy with a World Cup.  And that would make me happy. 


Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!  Love your loved ones!








Category: NFL
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