Blog Entry

Lincecum Too Hung-Over to Pitch?

Posted on: July 18, 2008 1:28 pm

Lincecum Too Hung-Over to Pitch?

Everyone has caught the flu at least once in there life and I understand how running to the toilet every 10 minutes can get old when most of the time you just end up sitting there.

However, the confusing part with major leaguers is...whenever this happens to them they call it "flu-like symptoms." Last time I had the flu it was pretty apparent I had the flu not just symptoms. If we only had symptoms wouldn't that be the stage before the Flu?

Isn't it just the flu? I would get the picture loud and clear if they just said so...and had the flu. I wouldn't expect any human being to pitch under that circumstance. Granted there are no time-out limits in baseball like there are in football but I would assume the umpires and batters would get restless after the 10th trip to the "John."

So why throw in the symptoms...if someone is giving birth do they have "Pregnancy like-symptoms?" or if we shatter our legs do we have "Broken bone like symptoms?" I think you get the point, so why do major leaguers get the benefit of disguising their illness?

Only one conclusion can be had of "Flu-Like Symptoms" especially in Lincecum's case - let's look at the facts:

  • The All Star game is in New York City
  • Nightlife in New York is a lot better than those "silly" bars in SF
  • First All-Star game (Rookie Hazing?)

If you combine these three facts I would have to say the "Flu-Like Symptoms" Lincecum had were due to the "Red-Headed Sluts" and "Lemon Drops" Arod, Milton Bradley and Big Papi were sending over from their side of the bar.

We have all had the pulsating headaches, churning stomachs and sensitivity to light after a long night of drinking. So why do athletes get the privilege of getting out of the humiliation by playing the "Flu-Like Symptoms" card. When I'm hangover after a long night of partying I'm the brunt of the jokes or the one with sharpie on his face.

So next time you are stuck in this situation just wake up from your comfortable rug, grab your dignity off of the shower towel you used as a pillow and walk up to your friends and say I'm heading home guys I have "Flu-Like Symptoms." Your friends will be blind-sided by the mystifying language and sympathize with you like they do their favorite ball players.

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Category: MLB
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