Blog Entry

Chatter on the diamond translated to the bedroom

Posted on: May 21, 2008 3:22 pm
 

We have all played baseball or softball or at least watched a movie about kids playing ball.  So it is safe to assume we have all heard the coach yell, "Talk it up out there!!!"   Followed by a cacophony of taunts, chants, annoying barbs meant to distract, and pure old noise which causes the parents to wince or groan. I went to a game to watch my nephew play baseball.  He is so cute in his little uniform, but I digress.  I heard, "Hey batter, batter, batter, swing batter!"   "Swings like a rusty gate."  "He's got the bat on her shoulder!"  "You got it, you got it, hum it baby!"  Now that last one got my attention.  I began to notice similarities between this juvenile chants and some of the demands I have heard (given) in the bedroom.  And I wondered if it was my imagination which has been known to frequent the gutter.   A devilish smile found my face and sat down for a while.

I began to think about my sex coach yelling, "Talk it up out there!"  What would I say?  My favorite right now, "You got it, hum it babe!"

I am sure you can all contribute something to this tawdry blog.  The winning responses will get used the next time I get home.  I will let you know how it is received.  Nothing that would require I delete your entry, please!

Smorgie

Comments

Since: Feb 7, 2008
Posted on: May 22, 2008 11:02 am
 

Chatter on the diamond translated to the bedroom

Great post.... had to think back to my H.S. days, and the worst coach ever for throwing out bad cliche's.

"rock and fire"

"shoot it in the gap"

and my favorite from my broadcasting days - "he steps to the plate... and licks it clean"




Since: Apr 5, 2008
Posted on: May 22, 2008 10:00 am
 

Chatter on the diamond translated to the bedroom

Here's a few!

" location/location/location "

" that one's in the dirt! "

" gonna need a new piece of lumber after that"

" it's kindof wet out there tonight "

" one more ball and he'll be headed down the line "

" if he hit that it any harder the ball might explode "

" some pitchers like to spit on their balls "

" after a play like that I don't know what to say "

" he didn't get much on that "

be back with more .... I could do this all day!................. heah, that works too

 




Since: Oct 2, 2006
Posted on: May 22, 2008 9:29 am
 

Chatter on the diamond translated to the bedroom

How about

"straddling the bag"

"driving it down the line"

"he undressed him with that"

"hitting it through a gaping hole"

"she's a witch with the stick"

"he sets deep in the box"

after a one night stand or for a HR, "get up and get out of here"

 




Since: Feb 12, 2008
Posted on: May 22, 2008 7:39 am
 

Chatter on the diamond translated to the bedroom

I pitched for over 20 years and was told numerous times to "Go warm up in the Bullpen."



Since: Feb 25, 2007
Posted on: May 22, 2008 7:07 am
 

Chatter on the diamond translated to the bedroom

I may be dating myself here, but there's a few minutes of this same subject being narrated by Hall-of-Famer Phil Rizzuto on Meatloaf' Paradise by the Dashboard Light.




Since: Mar 20, 2008
Posted on: May 22, 2008 7:02 am
 

Chatter on the diamond translated to the bedroom

 

When sliding in, wrap your arms around the bag......gently!




Since: Sep 15, 2007
Posted on: May 22, 2008 6:22 am
 

Chatter on the diamond translated to the bedroom

A good hard slider

The balls a little wet

Double play (my favorite)

he dug that one out??

Bat Boy?

he jerked that one foul

splitfinger

batting glove (condom reference)

swing hard...in case you hit it

I'll think of more

Gratuitous football add-in....anything to do with the word RAMS




Since: Aug 10, 2007
Posted on: May 21, 2008 11:28 pm
 

Chatter on the diamond translated to the bedroom

Ouch



Since: Jan 15, 2008
Posted on: May 21, 2008 10:34 pm
 

Chatter on the diamond translated to the bedroom

"Give it to 'em high & inside" is one you hear uncomfortably often.

"Oooo, he jammed him with that one."

"Let's get two" is a particular favorite for those who like a crowd.

"Hit it in the gap" is also a good one.

When you're particularly amorous you're "Going to extra innings."




Since: May 4, 2008
Posted on: May 21, 2008 8:50 pm
 

Chatter on the diamond translated to the bedroom

Let's grease one up and throw it down the middle!

If baseball had women umpires we would always get a mouthful

if baseball were a women the 7th inning stretch would take on a new meaning



The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com